h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Decides not to mention teeth any longer in case Pandora and Coely decide a total tooth extraction to be a course of action*

You two will be giving me a bad reputation at this rate!

Pandora, I forgot to mention that there is a message for you at your cottage here: http://www.h2g2.com/F52734

First may I say that NOBODY has to 'help' you "get a bad rep."! LOL!!!

And secondly thank you for your cottage help! I tried to E you but
I am, er, was or am too drunk to do it! I turned MAc into some sort of really cool typewritter & it made all these neat letters! But when I tried to send,,,it wouldn't go! HA!!!!!! What can I say, it's a Holiday here & we've had company since early am. I worked til 7:30 am. then lay in bed unable to sleep til 10:30 & then the sun popped out along with several people...the pool, the wine...MY HEAD!!!!!!!! It's nearly 3am & I am soposed to be counceling! HA! I think I remember returning my bosses E as such: Val, we NEED you on the phone ASAP! RESPONSE: Nay,
you don't want a drunk therapist on line! (do you think I'm in trouble...again?) ~Pan

You could be... It depends what you're telling clients to do whilst you're under the influence!

No! I would never do therapy whilst stoned!! I ment, do you think I'm in trouble for telling my boss I can't work 'cause I'm tipsy???

LOL! I guessed that but was just imagining the sort of things that you would advise clients to do whilst under the influence!!!

Nah! I don't think you're boss will think anything of it and I suspect he/she probably indulges from time to time also.

By the way, in case I don't get around to replying to your lovely long Email today, I'll say thanks now! It was a fun read! I hope to reply this evening... *Gwen sees that flying pig again*

Gwennie (& anyone else looking in) NEVER, ever, feel as though
you must return an E! I know people have RL's! I tried to send one of those post card/ joke thingys to you today, but I don't think it went through, as Mac said,"error!" (I just love having a talking 'puter...when I was little I use to tell my mum that one day I'd have a talking robot...close, but no cigar!) I hope you enjoy the sprongs going back to jail-er, school! That's why I was E-ing you this am...so you wouldn't forget to send them to school! LOL!!!
See ya' at the Pub! ~Pan

Hi Pandora!
I'm on my way back from school and thought I'd stop by on my way to my kitchen (my stommach urges me strongly to go there to cook something from the cuccina italiano!)

This thread inspires me to tell the story about the "adviser on alcohol" who was phoned up late one evening by a less than sober man who wanted to know "is zish zhe advisher on alcohol?"
Adviser: "It certainly is. What can I do for you, my good man?"
Drunkard: "Tshell me, wot wine do you sherve with corned duck?"

Hello Peirce, I was hoping to here from you this week. Hope you had a nice time & learned a thing or two! Your quick wit & cheeky good looks have been missed! I'm craving another pirate story Could you tell one where I, er, a girl is swept away by the dashing sea going chap???!!!?!??!

*Starts to feel seasick and reaches for a sick bag*

You & people like you are the very reason that many feel women are bad luck at Sea Why, you didn't even 'ave a chance ta' get your Sea legs before you lost your lunch! My Hell!!!
* Whispers to Gwennie* for Bob's sake! Put this clear patch behind your ear...nobody will ever SEA it ah-ha!!! Sorry, Peirce brings out the puns in me!
There now, are you feeling a little better? Peirce, see that shade of green right around Gwennies eyes? That's the exact color I'm painting a lizard on my adobe fireplace. How interesting. You wouldn't believe all the colors I had to swirl around and around before I got just THAT color. What'sa' matter Gwennie??? Now you're turning a different shade altogether...so pale.

Could Gwennie be one of the sixteen vestal virgins mentioned in that alltogether remarkable song (Procol Harum: A Whiter Shade of Pale)?

*Starts to gag and runs behind a conviently placed bush*

Hughieeeeeeeeeeeee! Cough, cough, splutter! Ewwwwww!

*A loud thud is heard as Gwennie collapses in a heap*

Groan!

Dear me, Gwennie, do you realize you have been seasick for 22 hours by now?

That reminds me: Once we sailed the North Sea, all the way from the westcoast of Norway to the London docks. Reminiscing the norwegian girls we left behind was not enough to prevent us from Neptuns revenge as it was quite windy. Of course one could always enjoy the fresh air outside, but... this was in the middle of november - which is not a good season to spent on the deck of a ship in northern waters...

I never realized before that how many buckets we had on that ship!

Motion sickness really isn't fuuny ...at all! There's nothing to compare it to! Once, whilst on a three mast clipper, her name was The Flying Cloud (went down about a year ago), we were hitting 22' waves in a steady gail. (That was one of the times I was rescued-another story-for anotheer time) I had always dreamed about being at Sea during a storm. Below, people were
using everything that could hold chuck up (tee-hee, 'tis Peirce making me do that...up-chuck, as it were). I couldn't stand it in the hold (week tummy & too many visuals). So I went on deck!
I was instantly knocked down by a huge wave & a rope across my shoulders! Thought my back was broken for a stunned moment. I grabbed the rope & lashed myself to the railing. It ws much more than I could EVER have dreamed of!!! Over & over I was slammed by one wave after another! It was wonderful!!! I felt that if we were going to sink, which I thought unlikely, I wasn't going to sit below & be dragged to Davey Jones' locker without at least watching it! My hair was past my butt at that time & my only REAL problem was getting it out of my face so I could see!

I did become ill once on a VERY small plane. I was ill to start with & my cousin said, "Here take these & you'll feel better." I took them-but I didn't feel better!!! Sure felt sorry for the others on that plane-there wasn't enough room to move away from me!
If they would have opened the door, I would have jumped! A chap I know was awaiting my arrival at an airport-took the whole day off from work to take me to dinner & hear all about my trip. The only thing he heard, repeatedly, from me was,"Pull over NOW!" always wished I could have made it up to those passengers Poor Gwennie. We'd best change the topic

Peirce, I'll be sending you an E after a bit. I may not get to it untill tomarrow...company -there's been a steady srteam of people, as the weather went into the Summer mode for about a week...now it's like a cool Fall day! I'm so tempted to light the fireplace! Brrr!!!

And finally-Gwennie...you're getting your revenge. I made fun of your visit to the DSS & now MY tooth is reminding me it's in my mouth! I look like a chimpmunk from the right I took pain killers & have an ice-pack on my jaw...I do believe a string from celery is the villan. I'll NEVER tease anyone 'bout that topic again
It's JUST NOT funny! With that, I seem to have come full circle.
Ado~Pandy

You are so right about motion sickness! And toothache! I hate them both! And I hope you get better soon!

Looking forward to your mail I'll catch up on some sleep right now!

See ya!

*Grins to herself as she slinks off because she doesn't ever really get seasick!*

Actually, chaps...I was once on a really small cabin boat, travelling between the Greek islands and caught up in some really rough seas and was the only one, apart from the crew who wasn't chucking up, thanks to a tip from my late Grandfather. I had a pack of dry water biscuits which I nibbled on from time to time! Mind you, it did occur to me at the time that the chances of my dying were quite high as I really didn't think that small boats could take that much of a pounding!

Then of course, there was the time in Malta when we went on a speed boat trip (without life jackets) and were taken into a low cave, where the boat's engine stalled and we were being bashed against the sides of the cave and had to duck to prevent our heads hitting the ceiling. It was at this point that my darling hubby, John started to sing, "We're all going to die! We're all going to die! Eeayeaddio, we're all going to die!" At this point, a group of young women who were with us, burst into tears! Fortunately, the boat's engine started shortly afterwards and we made our way back to shore! (Before John was lynched and thrown over board!)

"Ooo, not the brightest bulb in the pack hey?"

"Say, Gwennie, when you have 15 minutes to yourself again (perhaps you could pincile me in around December) I'd love to see some pictures of various ventures. This time though if you keep them the size they naturally are, you won't mick up Mac. I
have learned how to increase the size of the pictures from this side!!! (finally) I'm awaiting a smart reply to the matter of size (again) to complement my last request. Pierce???"

It just makes me wonder what sort of pictures you've been practicing your enlarging skills on...