h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well..the kind we have are black with a white stripe down their backs & spray stinky stuff from their sent gland.
On our honeymoon there were albino skunks...pure white! And so use to people you could feed them. I said you could...I didn't say I did.! HA!
My best dog EVER Rusty (the one who made Lassie seem stupid) tried to make friends with a skunk...he got sprayed...I took him to my apartment and filled the bath with tomato juice...this does get rid of the smell...this dog had NEVER shaken the water off after swims or bathes....this time, in my white bathroom...Rusty shook! I spent all day washing the walls, etc. And months later I would find a tiny spot here or there! HA!
One night as I was staggering home there was a skunk in the trash behind my apt.. My friend Stweart (next door) was yelling at me to be careful as the skunk was running past me. I started calling, "Here kitty-kitty."..& chasing it! I guess the ONLY reason I wasn't sprayed was it couldn't spray & run at the same time!

ROFL! When I think of skunks, I always think of the cartoon character, Pepé le Phew (Is that how one spells his name?) and the way he used to get muddled up with a cat who nearly always ended up chasing him.

We have le Pews (sp?) all over the place...they eat in the garage with the kitties & fox & whatever else nibbles the cat's food! I found out a loooong time ago, if you feed a skunk it won't spray the area! Guess it can;t stand it's own smell...Ewwe...

Awww! I want one too!

Mair is going on about wanting a pet newt/lizard to keep in her bedroom at the moment and providing that it isn't an endangered species, I feel a birthday present coming on...

When's Mair's BD? I'm awful at writting things down & then forgetting where I put them
A friend had a de-bagged pet skunk...it was soooooo sweet..but whenever it got the least amout of water on it...it smelled skunky.

I wanted a parrot...until I found how they eat wood...not a great idea for a log cabin...now I want a monkey!!! (forgot...I'm already married...AAAHHHH-HAAAAA!

ROFL! I thought you had a Bear as a pet!

Mair is 14 on the 14th July. *Sighs* I remember my 14th birthday party and a certain young monkey - oops I mean young man - called Keith and it wasn't until shortly after my 21st birthday that we continued our little fling.

*Produces another wistful sigh and dreamily starts to hum "Those Were the Days" to herself*

*Sighs in unison with Gwennie*
Did I tell you...the daughter of my first...er, my first...um...well...my first! Is the one buying my Main St house?!? She is 28 & has 5 children. (one set of twin boys) She feels that she was somehow or another sent to me...she calls me 'Ma Val' I gots myself a whole fam-damnaly and not one stretchmark
She is such a love...& she looks like her daddy...

Yes, you mentioned it.

Life is quite ironic at times, hey?

I managed two sproglets without getting any stretch marks but it did change the shape and size of my boobs! *Sighs* I used to be so proud of them too (lots of skimpy tops and dresses with no bra)...

In fact, one of my friends in the UK sent me an Email telling me what her ten-year-old son had written in her birthday card...

Roses are red, violets are blue,
Do you love me as much as I love you?
I even love you as much as there are stars,
But I hate it when you walk around without bras!!!

AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Outta' the mouthes of babes...that's why duct tape was invented!!!!!
Speaking of tape...models use a nice clear type of tape to er, hold things up & in place

Yes, I remember my sister-in-law using that stuff under party dresses in New Zealand although I think that share prices in the company that makes the stuff would rocket were I to start using it!

Whoohoo! It's sunny today here and I can almost see those lawns growing another few inches after all the rain we had yesterday.

Have you had the chance to use your pool recently Pan?

Pan grabs Gwennie....*OOF#%&%(**&^% BAM*&^T%%^^ POW*
gives Gwennie a good hard noogie (head-rub with the knuckles)
keeps her in a choke-hold...more noogies...* It's been cold...it's been raining,I can't even work the Phone Counceling job because of the Storms!!!!! *keeps giving noogie's* Don't you read the E-mail I send you?!? *more noogies* I have a fake tan!!!!! I came right out of as bottle!!!! The swimming pool just sets... Today, before I go back for a nap...I'm going out in the rain...to plant some flowers across the road on eith side of the mailbox....

*Rubs her bruises*

I just wondered whether your weather had improved since your Email...

Well don't get lost in the undergrowth whilst out planting (Or picked up by any nice young men that might be passing...)!

Oh My...did I slip & tell you that I seem to 'always' be out working on SOMEthing or other whenever those nice YOUNG MEN on the Garbage Truck pull up?!? (hoping next Thursday will be bathing-suit weather...)

You mad old tart you!

We used to have some lubberly young men collecting our rubbish in New Zealand.

*lusty sigh*

However, the ones employed where we live now are rather "run of the mill" or rather look as though they've been put through the mill and are over the hill at least! (Poor chaps!)

When I moved here after living in the City. My friends and I were all amazed that there where 'white garbage collecters!!! I'm not a bigot...I'd just never seen a white man collecting garbage...now a days.....those chaps are very well paid!!!! My friend 'Laurie' made me stop so she could 'watch' the white collectors!! I wish Bear had applied when there was an opening in the Village!!!!! Just one of those 'oh well situations."

Here in the UK, it used to be that rubbish collection was carried out by local councils and was quite a well-paid job, but nowadays the rubbish collection has been contracted out to private companies under "he who quotes the least gets the contract", hence being a "bin man" is not such a well paid profession.

Still, it must be a highly unpleasant task though, when one thinks of all the highly toxic/infectious risks these chaps are exposed to (Including that of mad housewives!).

...careful Deary...we don't rant to be talkn' trash with the moderators watching & all...

*Ducks and looks up for a flying moderator*

Ducks??? L B M R ducks! C D E D B D feet?

*Completely baffled*

You'll have to Email me that one Pan sweetness!