h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

And of course, you have no ammo. Just keep running, all I can say *^_^*

18, definatly.

18 cert, with gratuitous, yet skillful use of swearing and loads of gore. And the same scary music as the game or, failing that, loud obnoxious rock music, like in Spawn.
That ammo-making, gunpowder business in RE3's a swizz. Never seem to get enough ammo out of the things. Never mind.

I need to tell you about some of these new death metal bands in my mag...very appropriate for this sort of movie

Yeah? Interesting.
Spawn... Probably the ultimate example of the "so stupid it's cool" film.

Two bands you need to know about: The Berzerker and Frankenstein Drag Queens From Planet 13.

Both death metal/punk bands. The Berzerker is The Berzerker and four other guys, dressed up in monster suits. They look freaky, they sound freaky. I got a video of them - it features pics of mutilated bodies for a sizeable portion of the clip. Not for the squemish.

The Drag Queens actually look like zombies. Haven't heard them, but they got an album out on I Used To F**k People Like You In Jail Records. Need I say more?

The Berzerker sound like they kick ass. If it's a choice between Limp Dipshit being an asshole and "defying" the police, or footage of some insane geezers shouting hatred over pictures of genuine corpses, I know what I'd choose.
I'm gonna ask for Frankenstein Drag Queens From Planet 12 on MTV Choice, or whatever the hell they call that crap.

See if they'll play The Berzerker's video

They won't play "Windowlicker" by Aphex Twin before 9pm, because it's sick and depraved. Same story for "Come to Daddy". Bastards.

Is it pictures of mutilated faces, like with The Berzerker?

Come to Daddy: Horrific, emaciated demon oozing out of a TV screen and screams at terrified old lady, his foetid breath repelling her. Little kids with Aphex Twin's face trying to strangle each other, then worshiping the demon. Tower blocks. What looks horribly like spunk flying across the screen. Big deformed face on telly laughing hideously. Coolest video ever.
Windowlicker: Aphex Twin starts violetly shoving a stick between his legs to lure two women in bikinis into his massive car, where he feels them up, but they suddenly have his face. And then he gets a bottle of champaign and squirts it at a load of hideously deformed women from between his legs. Hmm. Banned by the BBC and MTV, but still turns up sometimes after 9pm.

Very, very cool...

"Windowlicker" was genuinely revolting. I liked it.
Are there any other cool videos out there?

None that I own. The video for Aces High by Iron Maiden is nearly as rousing as the song, as it features WW2 dogfight clips. But they could have improved it.

Run To The Hills has always been a favourite of mine. So simple (band pretends to perform live), yet so effective.

I used to like that video (can't remember who did it) where they had footage from an old episode of The Twilight Zone, or something, where they had this soldier who'd got blown up by artillery fire, and he couldn't move, talk, see or hear, and the doctors talked to him by morse code, and he begged them to kill him.
Actually, it might have been the Outer Limits that it was from. I dunn.
Been playing a demo of RE: Code Veronica. I like it!

I've been to see Iron Maiden live. I LIKE IT!!!

Hmmm...that song, what was it like? Did they build up a sort of sympathetic atmosphere with the music? I may be sounding psh, but I love HM bands (like Maiden) who can do that.
Code Veronica...set before Resi 1, yes?

Kick ass!
That song had incredibly hard-sounding drum and guitar over that guy getting blown up over and over again, doctors looking appalled, the bloke saying things to himself like "Why can't I just die?" and "S.O.S.. Save Our Souls"... You see him get blasted about three times, and all the while the music's pounding away remorslessly. It was cool.
Code Veronica, it turns out, is set three months after Resi II. It's fuckin' solid and all, with you fighting loads of zombies with just a knife right near the start. The opening movie kicks ass though, and it is much scarier than Resi 3. They do lots of nasty stuff with camera angles, cause the viewpoint often moves with you, so stuff jumps at you without any warning at all. Brrrr.

Guess the winning formula never gets tired!
So, which one is set before Resi 1 then?

I can't remember. Resi Evil: Survivor? When the hell was that set?

Hey, never thought of that. Dunno exactly. After them all, but around the same period, I guess. I didn't see the opener for that one properly

It's confusing. Somebody should do a timeline, or something.
I always meant to buy the Resi action figures, but they cost a friggin' mint, and I could never find 'em anywhere...