h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

to u my half polish half cousine friend..umm.. how's everything? or as we say down in cali: wasssup?
if u havent guessed who it is (then u must be ashamed) yet, well im the only living witness who saw how the "bob marley wallet" died..
abnyway, this site is confusing me, i wonder if u get this massage at all, well. goodnight, gootennighten, bonwee, laila tov.

u don't even check the thing huh.. oh well.bye.
(this is yeela..by the way).

Hey! Of course I'd have guessed instantly if I had checked the thing before. But times have been a bit tough for me since you left, so I had troubles with reaching the computer and pressing the buttons on it and all.
And now a message from Camille:

lpplop

CCAAWWIIIMMMMLLLEE

CCCCCAA LLLLMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%µµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµµ

I hope you've noticed he's finding the letters of his first name on the typing thing... though he has still problems recognising the W from the M.

Apart from that, life follows its slow pace round here. No wars and armies in France. Lots of linguistics and long week-ends when I'm reading and feeling lazy. Just like a three days long sunday afternoon. I'm going to Poland to see me mum for christmas.

I saw you were so lazy you didn't bother to make sentences or spell words. I admire you, for I'm still in me habit of long, long, long, long, sentences, long.

mmm... it's not very easy to be as funny in a letter as I am in real life. Speaking of it, I wouldn't like you to spread news about what you saw with the BOB DYLAN cassette ( and not Bob Marley, you keep mixing up the Bobs you know ) ( oh yeah, Robert says you hello, and Samuel is still under the effect of 'your astounding beauty' (his words, not mine ! ))

hope you'll come and see this message before another ten or so years pass. hope you've got a way to get an internet account where you are; at least from time to time? hope you liked the cd's, hope the world's gonna be allright
hope I'm gonna be allright
hope the hope of the pope's dope is gonna hold the rope...

head good

---------------------------Roman


fredi greats you from afar

ohhh....u r the laziest person i know..(allthou i could think of someone worse.._).
Luckily i opened this site by mistake(since im alltogather fed up from the internet, and i would like to distroy this computure for good. but sadly i have nothing better to do this daays).
u see, i think u missjudged me. I also have the ability to constract long long very tiering sentances...
(u r a bad influence- u just made me go over the msg & correct my mistakes(well, not entirely))

Accually,i really did want to thank u for those "wicked-ass-kicking" cd's (as some would say..) who gotten me through that horrible horrible rotten flight.
(which is quite a funny story by it self accually--
remember that "ausi guy" we met on the line at the airport?
well we kept on talkng after u left. and as it turned out, he came to france from ausi to be with his wife, who left him then for some other guy, so he descided to "do something crazy" and subscibed to volunteer in the israeli Kibutz. eventually he ended up delaying the whole flight beccause the security guys could not belive that a sane individual who has no relations there, would want to fly to this country in a middle of a war.
And all togather that just supports my theory about the australian folks-- weird but hurmless

i think Camile really has a potential to be a great writer someday..
well, ever since i came back, i haven't been doing much either. i draft to the army (yap..relunclently, i decided to give it a go) in..wow, in 8 days from today..

i wonder if u ever get this msg, since u r probably in poland right now, well, have a safe trip (say hi to the "homeland" for me...:/)
i hope it snows in poland so u have a real xmass..
(i wonder how u make those little sings..mmm..)
well' this msg turned out to be a bit (...) longer then i expected, so i guess i'll shut up now and just wish marry xmass and happy holidays to fredi, mariz, camile & lili (hope i spelled that right),
& to robert also (to whateveer holidays they might celebrate at wherever he's not from..)

ok, i'll go now... goo'day, keeping cool..
Yeela.

Well hi everybody:
Roman, I als ohop ey'ouve gotan ice sno wyx mas up the rein Poland ! (although you did not even tell me you had planned to visit your mum for xmas)
Yous eeI eventual lycamehe re, an dcongra tulate youf orthe wholestuff !

Also, happy new year for you two (even though none of you mention me !!! I was very disappointed when discovering this, and on the very verge of killing myself !!!! ( ), and also for Maryse, frédi, Camille and Lili, and your whole family in Israël !

See you,
Sincerely

David

And I change this awful nickname I've never asked for into an wonderful one, my internet one (thus, not one especially for h2g2,sorry)

See you, still

David

Well, Dave, if your nickname is wonderful, then I'm the king of
Belgium. What would people think if my nickname was 'Hroâmaàn
(rooooaaaa dhay Pelch)'?
Whereas Typolifi is such a beautiful word...



It seems that this page grew unuasually large because of Camille's
habit of never to press "space"



I've read the bit about 'Oh, is Lucy with dyamonds an allusion to
this song of the Beatles' hahaha lol!!!!!!
I miss the past a lot, and among all the days when you were there,
cousin. And my travels... I can't get myself to do anything.
And I'm going to see a shrink tomorrow!
Perhaps I should go make that trip to Israel and sinai and egypt and everything,
you know, the one we were looking at on the map.



Linguistics are interesting in a way, but not really. I feel
my wonderful talents are underestimated and underused by the society.
I feel that people do things mainly due to their anger against something.
And I don't want to feel anger against anything.



I think I should go study elsewhere, so that I get interested in the
world around me. Paris is just too boring. The christmas in Warsaw
was quite moving, and I was glad to see my mum in better state.
I spent the New Year's eve with Ania, a friend from the schooltimes,
and some other friends I knew less. Was nice, but felt a bit lonely.





I'm tired of the war in Israel. why couldn't sharon have a dream of
peace somenight and become a nice person.



Yeela, do you have any idea about what I should do? You wpuld probably say the world's not important enough to worry about it,
but the problem is it's the only world we have.

Roman, heeelloo, wassup?

Well.. this is just a response of an already desparate (and very tired..) soldier:
“World?
What world?
Who’s against who?
War?..
I don’t understand.
Sleep?
I understand.”
But you see, it’s a rather common phenomenal for someone who just got out of basic training-
They brain-wash your mind to an empty shell so they can mold you into whatever they want later on.
Evil, I tell you!

But serious now: yeah.. you should travel. It's a good way to get away and think things through.
For me, It’s the only way to live. Frankly, I'm not planning to stay here very long.
I’m tired of all the bullshit of this country,
I'm tired of their stupid army
(whom, as far as I'm concerned the word "Army" can be put by the Academies as the opposite word for "logic" in all dictionaries)
I’m tired of all the stupid & narrow-minded girls whom I serve with.
Not being able to bring my camera along was the hardest bit.

"caause me and my soul, we know where we're going,
wego where the grass is free, and the air is clean and
the good times are growing..."

So how was your new year's?
(in a cynical voice I will then say that I drafted that day and slept in a tent.How symbolic)
The days are hard, and they pass very slowly. I finished basic training and now I’m just waiting for my course to begin. I’m on basses and trains a lot. I listen to my music all the time-
It’s the only thing that kept me sane so far.
But sadly - -that is gone too, because my CD player stopped working.
So I’m only left with my books, which gives me headaches on basses.
I learned how to fire a weapon, which was fun (not that I'm gonna have one)

Anyway, how was the shrink thing?
I think, shrinks are meant to be laughed at.
Because some of them are so idiotic,
And Froid wasn’t all that either….

It seems as if people are trying to help you sort out your life, but instead
Just get you all the more confused.
But that’s the way its always is, isn't it?
In the end you do what you wanted to do in the first place,
And that strikes out all the rest.
Well, I need to get some rest. If you already noticed, its impossible for me to write a short massage, since I'm absolutely terrible at summing things up. Good night.

Soldier no. 7216098. Of the I.D.F

Or just Yeela.

what the hell are all those numbers...

I'm sure the numbers are connected to the army stuff, they even got
one inside your name. But even if you give up your identity, don't
give up your personality. And even if you give up your personality,
don't give up thinking. And even if you give up thinking, don't give
up thinking with a distant smile. And even if you -- Heck! what am I
talking about?



It must be because I only missed you by a few moments: over the posting I am replying to it is written "Posted 18 Minutes Ago by
LucyWithDymonds". It means you just turned off your computer and are
now going to do something else. Really strange to imagine people
actually exist beside my viewfield, especially if I know them quite
close and they live quite far.



My life is more normal. I'll have exams at the end of the week, and
it ain't going to be a problem, I think. Though I still have to
finish two "individual works". Besides, I found that working could
transform a boring moment into an intersting experience of Life and
Being. Well at least I thought it might be true, though I haven't
tried yet. Time to start, perhaps ?

Gotta go to eat dinner, Maryse sent Camille to tell me about it and
bother me until I am forced to go.

Everybody greets you, even the grand-parents whom I told it was possible to communicate through internet.

HOla ROman..
How are you?
I am allright. I get by.
I find the army rather stupid.

what do u mean by "missed me by a couple of minutes"?
do u mean that we can chat here?
Oh well..
i don't like writing in this site.
Allthough i rearly check my e-mail,
i rearly come here either, so when u really think about it
it makes no difference. Anyway, heres my e-mail: [email protected]
but u are welcome to write herre anyhow if you want.

Other then that, everything is ok. i really miss all u guys, your family, and the whole.. umm i don't know how to call it,
the "europian autmosphere" that doesn't exist here.
i have in my class a dutch girl and one that is half from Brazil and half from Frace. and we all sit and talk about coming here again..

its quite funny acually..
one day i will learn how to
make the little fish sings...

until then.. bye
(i an sure your grandparent were amazed by the progress of technology..)

*one thing- i just saw my last response from few weeks ago, well..i was quite surprised to read it because i didn't notice at the time how stoned and -out of it- i was when i wrote it...

Dear cousin,
The family's allright, my brother and sister keep growing. She's now
walking very well, and he's a bit jealous about her. Not that he
can't walk himself, mind you, but he doesn't understand why everyone
makes such a fuss about walking, which after a very basic thing. I go
on with my studies, which are more passionating than ever.
Linguistics are so cool! When I'm down there in the jungle of the
streets, people who learn I'm studying linguistics are always very
impressed, and keep trying to get my telephone number because I'm so
cool. The weather is nice today. Oh! I have to leave you now, I'll be
having lunch soon. I'm sure my afternoon's going to be great. Greets
and kisses from everyone to everyone.

Your cousin, Roman.
PS: Life is just so neat!


---


Hey! You can be impressed, because you're the first person ever to
receive such a delicious letter from me. Never managed before to get
through the second line, where you give news about your kin.
But this time, I ate a banana, smoked a cigarette and just went for it!
... and it worked, though I had to fill it with a slight irony, as you
probably have noticed.

Linguistics are not so cool either. When the new semester came, it
brought along a full load of new themes. Gone are syntax and phonology,
gone is lexicology.Welcome semantics and typology. Semantics are pure
crap, this kind of big crap which is the more infuriating because of
it pretends to be scientific crap. Typology's fine, and the teacher
is a nice old professor who has a major quality: he's not French,
he's half Greek half Turkish, and likes both his countries. You know,
peace relies on such people. ( a propos, seems to be really s**tty in Israel now ). Besides I also have diachronics (the study of
language's evolution) and ethnolinguistics, about the links of language and culture in distant lands. Sounds like adventure, travelling...
But! I feel quite alone, and that's annoying. My mother's always
better, though, yet I won't see her before summer.
Besides, I:
Have trouble feeling guilty about not stopping to smoke,
Write more and more,
Think less abstractely than before,
Have to find a job,
And a way to leave that planet,
No,
The planet's ok,
You can even make fishes here!
It's very easy, you just have to write
< b l u e f i s h >
or
< o r a n g e f i s h >
or
> < >
or
< > <

but, mind you, without all those spaces between the caracters.
Also, if you want a coffee or tea picture, or xmastree or something, just write them between those: < >, and they should appear nicely on your message once you've sent it.

It makes this planet really pleasant, doesn't it?

sorry I havent been around lately,
been having trouble touching computers..
(ever sincce they made me study computer science)
Well, you see,thats the good thing
about your Linguistics. At least YOU chose to study it,
and its something that intrest you in a whole.
me, I think I'm starting to miss school
literature and theater and all the good stuff...
I read lot of books lately,
which seems to be the best solution, since I can't do much these days.
trying to not fall asleep every chance i get..

I got posted in central Jerusalem.
I went there today for the first time.
I think its an incredible city, I grew up there.
But yet, you can't not feel a slight discomfort when you're walking down the street where some people died on just yesturday.
I wont stay there for long. I'm trying to get a job and save up for school.
Anywaay...how are you doing? :/ I hope everyone are allright.
and now, just for fun:
- this is Johny the blue fish.
- and this is a nameless orange fish.
and thaat is all for today, I have to go, so see ya. take care.
yeela. (i hope the fish things worked.. other wise its your fault)

hello to all computers..i just went over some stuff today and found
the pictures from france(funny pictures)
and then i remembered i haven't been here for months..
but i don't feel gilty(seems u haven't either).
anyway, i'm out of the army,
going to see the world, so
peace out, cousin -_+

maybe i'll meet you somewere between Istanbul and Greek

guilty? no, but embarassed, perhaps. There are times when laziness
makes you do things you don't intend to do. Or rather makes you don't do things you wanted to do, if you see what I meen...

So you left the army. Now that was a good idea! Sometimes it's good to be a woman...
Will you go to the university this year? Or maybe next. Hope you don't find it to difficult to choose a subject.

Linguistics still aren't the best thing in the world, but I got used to them and they keep my brain working in many fields I like very much. In January I will go for a semester to Finland, and will be a the Turku University there. If everything goes well.

Now I have a new language to learn, and some other plans. I'm starting to look desperately for a girlfriend since I really start to feel frustrated after a year or so... It's a bit crude, I know, but it's sometimes easier to be patient with love than with sex. And sometimes it's the other way round.

Saw Avi recently when he came to Paris, and he told us about the job at applied materials not being very sure in the long-term, but I'm not worried to much since I suppose your dad is one of the best in his field (it's normal, he's from the family!)

Hope you'll come back here to write an answer someday...

See you later!

*it's not good to be a woman- it's just better (then to be a man)..

Finland, huh? sounds good to me.
so how are you, anyways? i saw Poldeck juat some time ago at Giva't Brener (he remembered me..)and my grandma told me today that she talked to you (but she did so everytime i talked to her, for about five times.) i guess she forgets what she told me allready.

yes, yes, leaving the army was my best decision so far in my life. I hope to continue.

I live in Tel Aviv now, so i don't have a computer, but this is how i excuse a visit home from time to time. but its no an excuse for you not to write!
<*>
i'm not going to start studying this year, because i discharged after the last registration for this year, and besides, there're so many things i want to study i dont even know where to start. anyway, i'm glad that everything is going well for you with linguistics, i hope you answer me before i die of old age (or Sadam bomb's tel aviv--which ever comes first)

bye

*it's not good to be a woman- it's just better (then to be a man)..

Finland, huh? sounds good to me.
so how are you, anyways? i saw Poldeck juat some time ago at Giva't Brener (he remembered me..)and my grandma told me today that she talked to you (but she did so everytime i talked to her, for about five times.) i guess she forgets what she told me allready.

yes, yes, leaving the army was my best decision so far in my life. I hope to continue.

I live in Tel Aviv now, so i don't have a computer, but this is how i excuse a visit home from time to time. but its no an excuse for you not to write!
<*>
i'm not going to start studying this year, because i discharged after the last registration for this year, and besides, there're so many things i want to study i dont even know where to start. anyway, i'm glad that everything is going well for you with linguistics, i hope you answer me before i die of old age (or Sadam bomb's tel aviv--which ever comes first)

bye

How extremely pleasant to see you can still be sarcastic about me!
I'm a terrible zero as far as writing is concerned, but I'll try and do it for you. Only... not now. Can I still write to your address at yahoo?

Anyway, I'll do it!