h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Am i glad to see you?!

It's been over a week ago since I launched my tiny dinghy into the unpredictable waters of The Great h2g2 Ocean.

I thought it was a bargain, this little boat. Sold to me in exchange for a dubloon and a quart of rum by a trader at the beach-head. (I also bought five postcards for a pound and a stick of rock - that's all I've eaten since Thursday!)

Unfortunately the brave dinghy, resplendent with its inflatable dolphin's head and brightly coloured PVC boughs, has been woefully mismatched to the task of navigating these treacherous waves.

My despair grew as my stick of rock shrank. (I never knew why it had the words "FORTY TWO" running through it. Perhaps, should I ever return to that quaint seaside resort where my voyage began, I'll seek out that enigmatic trader.)

Then, when I thought I would surely gasp my last, a majestic craft swept onto the horizon. I'm sure I counted four great masts, in full sail. Truly a magnificient sight.

And now, as my little rubber craft bumps your mighty hull, may I ask for passage? To your next port of call, or further, should you so desire of my services.

I have some meagre talents to place at your disposal. I can tend a little bar , I can cook . And I know a story or two.

I seek only guidance and tutorage, and somewhere to stow my deflated dinghy and dayglo pink plastic oar.

I have so far survived the that roam these straits. I feel fate has led me to your vessel. What's your reply?

I have opened a cabin for you here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/alabaster/F70774?thread=200276&post=2251523#p2251523 - is that answer enough?

Thanks!

(It was late, I was drunk...)