h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

So, this is where people shall come for the advice of Betty for their everyday problems.

Or just to talk random nonsense.

Brilliant!

I can be agony aunt Betty.

In turn, anyone who seeks your help will also offer theirs to help you.

So, what's on the agenda, what were these nightmares?

Can't remember much about them, other than waking up with tummy ache and looking like a huge Human swiss roll with the duvet wrapped around my head.

Well if the duvet was wrapped around you like that, at least you were completely safe from wardrobe and under bed demonic beings.

I tend to sleep with a pillow on my face just in case.

Under bed what?

Oops.

It's ok, they wont mess with you, ive left them a note explaining they'd be making the wrong choice.

It's just...my bed is a divan...

They're pretty sneaky eh...

Pretty tiny too, I'm a lot less scared of a micro-organism, unless it's MRSA.

Tell me it isn't MRSA!

If you don't tell me what I want to know, then it'll just be a question of how much you want it to hurt.

Hmm the hurting thing depends really, but no, it's not MRSA.

They're shape shifters, so essentially can take up any form they so wish.

Is it SARS then?

No.

Although my friend, Sara, is called SARS, it was funny six years ago.

Sara Lee?

MMmMMMmmm Sara Lee, but unfortunately no.

They make THE best Lemon Meringue

What films have you perused of late?

it's true, i love it.

Im not sure why that gets an angry face.

Also, you know me, im ten years behind so it's pointless asking. The most recent one i watched was erm, hmmm, actually dont know.

Quick question, you liked Firefly/Serenity right. Have you watched any of the 'new' Battlestar Gallatica? It's what you might call, awesome television. I just bought the first three seasons for 50 quid and am already stopping myself watching it all in one go because it's just that good.

But back to films, erm, i recently(a month ago) bought The Kingdom, 3:10 to Yuma, Shoot em up (shut up, there was nothing else in the 3/20) and still havent watched em, hmm.

Well for your information BSG is frelling awesome.

No it aint!

You've gone to the already eh?