An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of attention span.
Hello, and welcome to the "About Me" portion of this page. You should be informed that Rob (also known as mallokyte) is not writing this, but rather his toaster. Yes, you have heard correctly. Rob has allowed me to make an appearance here to tell you how I view him, appliance to owner.
Rob is certainly a man of routine. He routinely fails to clean my crumb tray, routinely fails to unplug me after use and wrap my electrical cord around my base, and routinely fails to polish my chrome sides (which were once shiny, but are now dull and uninteresting). Despite this, he still trusts me with the ever-important task of toasting his bread to a light golden brown each and every morning.
What's that you ask? Why do I put up with this mistreatment and total lack of respect? Well, it certainly isn't that I like the hours. I am rudely awakened from my toaster-dreams every morning at 6:00. I am stuffed with two slices of bread (at least it is wheat, for God's sake!), and left to stew -or toast.... your preference- over this development until I am so hot over the whole deal that the bread begins to burn. Strangely enough, this is exactly what Rob wants. When I get mad enough, I spit the bread out, at which point, Rob takes it in gentle fingers and lovingly slathers it with butter and a bit of marmolade. Oh how I wish he would just once extend a tender emotion or word of thanks to me. He cares more for his bread than for the machine that made if for him. How typical.
But I digress. I am here to tell you about Rob, not about how he fails to polish me. Rob is a young man, recently graduated from a Wisconsin high school. He doesn't seem to have the foggiest idea about what to do with his life, and is spending a year in Germany at present attending school (and effectively avoiding college in the United States). He enjoys breakfast, snowboarding, intellectually stimulating people, and snowboarding. He certainly does not seem to enjoy polishing chrome covered appliances as much as he should, much to the dismay of certain kitchen appliances.
The End
Begrudgingly Yours,
Rob's Toaster
Latest Messages
| Messages left for this Researcher | Posted |
|---|---|
| Hello and Welcome Rob, and his toaster :-)... | Nov 8, 2004 |
Conversations
| Conversation Title | Latest Post | Latest Reply |
|---|---|---|
| In the Running | May 24, 2005 | No Replies |
| Hello and Welcome Rob, and his toaster :-)... | Nov 8, 2004 | Nov 8, 2004 |
| Splitboards | Nov 5, 2004 | No Replies |
| Jolly Good | Nov 5, 2004 | No Replies |
mallokyte
Researcher U1077765
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