h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

What I did on my holidays - 24th October - afternoon. In which coelacanth and Moonlight are again frustrated by the uselessness of other people, and do a lot of running!


Recap. It's 12.25, we've already been delayed by the incompetence of others, and still have a 40 minute dash across London to arrive at our destination for 1.15.

We're standing in the long and slow moving "Main Cloakroom" queue at the NHM which is serviced by only two members of staff. It's clear they are overwhelmed. The NHM has millions of visitors a year, it's a Saturday, the first day of half term and it's coming up to lunch time. We're not the only ones frustrated by the wait. There are several obvious solutions. More staff being the main one. But if they have to have only two staff, how about when it gets busy they switch to one dealing with deposits and one with collections? Collections is much quicker and the queue would reduce rapidly then they could return to the single queue system.


[While we wait I'll explain why we are in a hurry. Weeks before, when Moonlight suggested the NHM I looked for something interesting to do either in the afternoon or the evening. I pondered the possibility of the hottest tickets in town - Benedict Cumberbatch as Hamlet at the Barbican. http://hamlet-barbican.com/ Maybe we could queue for the daily released tickets or see if there were returns. I started to investigate where to queue, and what the likelihood was of getting in and then discovered that, in a low-key way, they had released a whole load of tickets for each performance in the final week! I could take my pick from most performances, except for that Saturday night, but the 1.30 matinee had some! I could have paid £100 each for stalls, but decided that was ridiculous. £50 each for the Circle, Row A, slightly to the side! Fabulous! And that's Moonlight's Christmas present sorted too.]


Meanwhile back at the NHM queue... still waiting, time still ticking and nothing much happening. We couldn't even eat lunch because the food we'd prepared in advance to eat on the Tube was in the bags we'd been forced to check in. A couple of people gave up trying to check bags in so we moved forward a bit. But then a couple wanted to protest about the wait so one of the staff explained the complaints system and handed them a form, delaying us all again.

Eventually we got to the front, handed over the tickets grabbed coats and bags and ran! We knew the exit route - dash down the slope, turn left, run for the underpass, down the stairs, along the tunnel and up to the Circle line platform. The board showed a brief wait, but still cutting it fine. We were supposed to arrive by 1.15 according to information sent with the tickets, so they could verify the purchaser ID, to prevent reselling or fraud. We reassured ourselves that although we'd never make 1.15, we wouldn't be far off, I had the tickets in hand and when had a theatre performance ever started on time anyway?

Our only concern was that despite being quite regular visitors to the Barbican, it's a bit of a shape shifter. As a family we're convinced it actually moves location between visits. Certainly there are several ways in and we never seem to get it right first time. Inside is confusing too. Our most recent visits had been to the Jean Paul Gaultier exhibition http://www.barbican.org.uk/artgallery/event-detail.asp?ID=14772 and the Conservatory http://www.barbican.org.uk/visitor-information/conservatory which you might have seen on The Apprentice a couple of weeks ago. But we knew we needed the same entrance as when we went to the Conservatory, because it's actually hiding the fly tower of the stage below it. This means getting off the Tube at Moorgate rather than Barbican. We were sure we'd manage it when we got off the Tube at 1.15 and faced a 5 minute dash.

But of course, one final delay! Building works and closed off roads at Moorgate totally disorientated us! We wasted at least 5 more minutes going round in circles, but we spotted the right route and dashed again. Through the doors, up the stairs and it was 1.28! Staff were happy with a quick wave of my driving licence and took us up to a little door to our row in the Circle. Phew!!!! Just in time for the final announcement about turning phones off, not just on silent please as even the light can distract the actors and spoil it for others. Lights up, Benedict was already on stage so we had a quick grin and a hug and then settle down, somewhat out of breath but very happy to have made it.


Because this tale has been so long, I'll review the play for tomorrow.

[Amy P]

3 days in and I had to abandon NaJoPoMo. My place of employment suddenly hit the news headlines, not entirely unexpectedly, but it's been "interesting" and will continue for a good few months yet.

So, on the 3rd I wrote about our cross London dash to make it to the shape shifting Barbican by the skin of our teeth. On the 4th I missed writing about how much we enjoyed Benedict Cumberbatch in Hamlet, the hottest tickets in town this year, although I booked with no problems. I could have also written about how, yet again Moonlight and I were annoyed by the incompetence of other people, in this instance a young girl 2 seats away who kept checking the time on her phone, in clear breach of the announcement that even the lights on phones would be distracting to others and the actors. I gave her -and her mum- a stern teacher talking to in the interval, and Barbican staff had noticed it too so stood someone behind her for the second half.

Anyway, BC was excellent, very animated and entertaining, with tremendous stage presence and energy. It was a fast paced production and we had brilliant seats. And the set was amazing! The Barbican stage can take a big set and the first half showed the sumptuous vastness of a royal palace, with high doors, portraits and swords on the walls and a huge banqueting table. In the second half the set was cleverly transformed into a battle field. His speech at the curtain call about refugee children was from the heart, very moving and absolutely spot on. Don't believe everything you read in the Daily Fail.
“No-one leaves home, unless home is the mouth of a shark… No-one puts their child in a boat, unless the water is safer than the land.” Warsan Shire - Home.

On the 5th I was going to write about my day out at the lovely Knightshayes in Devon http://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/knightshayes with a little of Britain's industrial history thrown in for good measure with a mention of the Ludddites and some information about the inventor John Heathcote, who seems like he was a decent boss. And my drive past the mills in Tiverton.

On the 6th I was going to write about seeing Spectre with Moonlight. We booked for the first showing on release day. Everything you want in a Bond film really. A preposterous plot, a villain, car chases, explosions and a bit of playing fast and loose with the geographical layout of London. Loved it.

On the 7th I was going to make my annual appeal. Do something amazing. Please. Are you healthy, over 17 and able to spare an hour 3 or 4 times a year? If so, do it. If not, find someone who is, and encourage them to donate on your behalf. That's still amazing. Please don't leave it to someone else. http://www.blood.co.uk/ #giveblood
7th was also my mums 80th birthday. No one is quite sure how she made it this far, but it will most likely be her last and we all knew it. We had a nice family lunch out, lots of catching up because sharing the carers responsibilities between us means we don't actually get together in person much. Mum was delighted to see us all together, and no one remembered to take photos. There were balloons, flowers and chocolates. (Happy birthday to Asteroid Lil U81931 too.)

8th I thought I might have a rant about education, but given the events unfolding at my workplace, perhaps not. Instead, I did some decorating at a friends flat. I'm helping her to get it on the market. Ever decorated the home of a smoker? Don't.

9th, today. Mondays are my day off now that I am part time. I mostly worked, marking and emails, but at least from the comfort of my own sofa rather than my more hectic workplace. And, given the events of the last week, I congratulated myself on dropping responsibilities and going part time. Even though I was clearly working on my day off, and mostly sending extensive emails about being expected to work on my day off. Hmmm.

[Amy P}

Just here fixing the date, nothing much to say really. Work continues to be "interesting" and busy and I can't see that changing, but at least the press have lost interest, which makes things a bit easier all round.

So instead of a story or update, I have a quick question. Curved screen TVs. Yes or no?

Curved which way? (Probably no.)

Curved towards you. I'm trying to work out if it's a gimmick or if it makes a difference.

If you live alone, and only ever sit in one chair in the room, maybe...

Otherwise their limited viewing angles will detract from the image.

It's like you have inside information on my life! But would the cat still enjoy Springwatch?

Workplace back in the headlines, with a revival and update on something that happened a few months ago, unconnected to the present crisis but nevertheless newsworthy and puts the spotlight on again. The atmosphere inside the place is what could be described as bubbling. Either we'll simmer for a while and then the heat will get turned down, or we'll all boil over and leave the pan. Rumours and conspiracy theories are rife and everyone wonders what comes next.

[Amy P]

Moonlight and I have been groundlings at the Globe Theatre several times. There's now a new venue on the same site for winter performances, so I've booked us into the Pit at the Sam Wanamaker Playhouse to see The Tempest by candlelight in February. http://www.shakespearesglobe.com/theatre/whats-on/sam-wanamaker-playhouse/the-tempest-2016

We're already looking forward to this, it looks like a great venue!

[Amy P]

It's the time of year where I start to review my "deathlist" A87844972 and think about who to have for next year. So I've had a look at a few of the members on my 2015 list, which does tend towards people in the Arts rather than sport or politics. Lets see what some of them are up to.

Diana Athill - 97 now, 98 next month and still working. Currently writing the seventh part of her memoirs which will be published in 2016 when she's 99 and is to be called "Alive, Alive Oh!"

Liz Dawn - 76 and coming out of retirement to take a cameo role in the hour long Christmas special of Emmerdale.

Johnny Hallyday - 72 and still working. Currently on tour in France and Belgium, with dates up to July 2016.

Glynis Johns - 92, retired and living in California

Lemmy - 69 now, 70 next month and still working. Currently on tour with Motorhead across Europe, with dates up to February 2016.

Harper Lee - 89, second book published in 2015, although there are conflicting reports about her health and wellbeing.

Nancy Reagan - 94, there's some pictures of her looking well and blowing out the candles on her birthday cake in July.

Rip Torn - 84, still alive despite internet rumours, and earlier in 2015 he reprised his role as Zed for an Air New Zealand safety video along with some of the All Blacks. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji65WI5QLZI

I don't think of the list as being in bad taste, and clearly a lot of my choices could be around for quite some time yet! Here's to their continued long life!

[Amy P]

(resetting the date)

600g diced lean beef
2 medium onions, chopped
3 large carrots, sliced into chunks
3 sticks of celery, sliced into chunks
big squirt of tomato puree
seasonings - salt, pepper, paprika, dried herbs
500ml bottle of ale

Put all ingredients into a slow cooker pot and refrigerate overnight.

Next morning, before leaving for work at 7.30, put the cold pot on the slow cooker base and switch onto Low setting.

Go to work, attend a morning meeting, check attendance, teach, sort out fights, remind people to tuck shirts in, remind people to turn down skirt waistbands, attend a midday meeting, reprimand swearers, pick up litter, ask people why they are late, send and receive emails about attendance, fights, shirts, skirts, swearing, meetings, litter and lateness, attend an evening meeting, drive home in the wind and rain.

Open the door at 19.30 to the wonderful smell of a beef and ale stew. Stir, add bay leafs. Take a lump of suet from the freezer and grate about 50g (it doesn't just come in packets you know!) add 100g flour, a pinch of salt and enough water to make a firm dough. Shape into 8 balls, add 4 to the pot and put 4 in the freezer for another day.

Kick off shoes, feed cat, put on TV, warm a plate. Turn off slow cooker and serve a plateful of stew and dumplings. Eat while curled up on the sofa with the cat, watching people sing at a football match.

Haven't had stew in ages.
Your recipe sounds good.

I made a stew yesterday that started out as a pot roast last weekend.

[Amy P]