h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I have never quite got the Smiths. There, I said it. But I appreciate master musicians, and that gig sounds like a fabulous one.

How interesting too to hear all about the inner workings of Strictly! Hmmm, I wonder which programmes I should apply for.

Back to school Monday.

Half Term has been busy, I haven't really had a rest but I have done different things. The weather's been good but it's very autumnal today. I know when I eventually get home I'll be in no mood to cook, so the slow cooker is out. Yesterday I bunged all the ingredients for a beef and ale casserole in the pot then put it in the fridge overnight. This morning, at the latest moment possible I'll put the pot on. I leave for work about 7.30am and get home about 7pm but as it's going on cold from the fridge it can just about take being on all day. I've had a slow cooker since I was a student and use it a couple of times a month, I fill the pot to make plenty, one meal to eat and the rest to freeze.

This is what is in the pot:
Some beef. I went to the village butcher and said "I want some beef I can dice up for a stew please" and he went out the back and got a big lump, slicing me off two large pieces. I think it weighed about 900g. I trimmed and diced it at home, remembering to save some of the trimmings to roast for the cat.

Vegetables: A big onion, chopped, 4 big carrots, peeled and chunked, some mushrooms cut into the same sized pieced, 3 sticks of celery cut into bits. The village butcher also runs the greengrocers, with a counter in between so you can shop in either, or go from one side to the other via the outside doors and pay either side. I have no idea of their opening times, if there's an old bicycle outside it's open.

Some water, a tablespoon of vinegar and a 250ml bottle of ale. This is from the Kent brewery Shepherd Neame and is called Bishops Finger. I chose it because the recipe called for ale and the bottle said ale on it. I have no idea about such things. All the other bottles in the village shop could have been ale too, this was the only one I could read without my glasses. Googling tells me it's won medals so maybe I shouldn't bung it in a stew, but I am not a connoisseur.

2 packets of Slow Cooker Beef and Ale stew recipe mix and a Knorr stock cube. Cheating I know, but less faff. The mix seems to be mostly paprika based.

As soon as I get home I will stir it and add some bay leaves for the last 20 minutes. Then the key ingredient, dumplings! These I've made with grated suet from a massive lump of fat the butcher gave me ages ago. This keeps in the freezer and I usually make extra dumplings and freeze them. So today I won't need to make them, I have some already from the last time. I'll throw in the frozen balls and they will fluff up nicely.

I'm not looking forward to the first day back at work. If you read my NaJoPoMo last year you'll know we were waiting for the Ofsted call - and we still are! That's 18 months of being on tenterhooks, which isn't good for anyone. Still, at least whatever the day throws at me, there will be a meal ready and a lovely smell when I walk through the door.

[Amy P]

Now I'm hungry!

Mm, that sounds really tasty. What a welcome home that'll be.

Still waiting for Ofsted? Waiting is always a stress, but 18 months? Poor you.

Deb

Sorry superfrenchie! I hope you found something tasty.

The casserole was lovely, it's been a wet and windy autumnal day and it was exactly right. Dumplings from frozen to fluffy in about 20 minutes. Yum!

Yes deb, still waiting and it's horrible. In the early days of inspections I think schools got about 4-6 months notice with a firm date and a whole week of inspection but they wouldn't return for 6 years. Over the years it has changed. For a while it was every 3 years, for 3 days, with a couple of days notice. There's been some no notice inspections in the past few months, where they phone from the car park but those aren't happening any more.

It's not even that we really have anything to worry about or to hide. We just want to get it over with. I'm fed up with conversations that start with "When Ofsted come..." "We're only doing this for Ofsted..." "Will Ofsted be pleased about ..." "Ofsted won't like..." etc.

"In the UK at least - an offence without precedent."

Teachers have been murdered before. Head Philip Lawrence was stabbed outside his school by a pupil from elsewhere in December 1995 and Gwen Mayor in 1996, first victim at Dunblane, was shot as she tried to shield her class.

But Ann Maguire is the first teacher to be murdered by a pupil in a classroom. It's an overwhelmingly sad story, her family are devastated and the thoughts of all teachers are with them. But from talking to colleagues, we're reflecting on our own safety too.

Government figures record 17,680 physical assaults in UK schools by pupils against teaching staff between 2012 and 2013 - that averages to 93 a school day. That's risen from 16,970 in the year before. 26 teachers suffered "non-fatal major injuries" in 12-13, down from 31 the year before. Since 2011, weapons have been confiscated from 981 pupils, including 80 primary school children. 36 children were found with guns.

Then there are verbal assaults and, increasingly, threats on social media. It seems that Ann Maguire's murderer had made threats for several months, maybe she knew but maybe not. Maybe the school knew, maybe not. But the other pupils did. He made no secret of what he wanted to do. Perhaps her murder could have been prevented.

Over the years I've been verbally assaulted quite a few times, physically assaulted by a student in front of my class once, and read a very violent and intimidating unconditional threat to me on Twitter quite recently, an open and public conversation between two of my pupils which named my institution, and named me.

My time as a teacher is coming to a gradual end, but I worry for the next generation.
Ann Maguire

my goodness, there really is nothing to say to that.

I've just read the judge's sentencing remarks. It's chilling

"Remember, remember the 5th of November"

Driving home from work yesterday I was thinking about a journal for today. I was going to write about the effect of fireworks on pets, my cat Pumpkin pretty much lives under the sofa in the evenings at the moment.

And then I discover Richard Dawkins has beaten me to it! He commented on Twitter recently about the effect Diwali fireworks was having on his own dogs and today there's an article in the Daily Fail.

Diwali was October 23rd, and round here there were fireworks then and at the weekend of 24th and 25th. Friday 31st was Halloween and there were fireworks then and again over the weekend of 1st and 2nd, presumably early bonfire night events. Tonight is the 5th, then this coming weekend, 7th-9th it will be 3 nights of organised displays and family ones.

That's 10 evenings out of the last 3 weeks, and I live in a quiet village - although well within hearing distance of one of the largest displays around. 10 evenings of having to try and comfort a distressed cat, when I can coax her out from under the sofa that is. I turn the TV up loud to mask the bangs, and make a fuss of her, but it can start around 5pm and even when it seems like it's finished, there's still the occasional one until midnight. It's the unpredictability of it that makes it difficult.

Dawkins makes the point that he's not anti fireworks, and neither am I. The appeal is visual, with spectacular colours and beautiful patterns in a dark autumnal sky. What's not to like! But it's the noise. As he says, you can explain to a small child what's happening, so that even if they don't like the noise they can understand what it is. But he says vets have identified more than 20 physiologically measurable symptoms of distress in dogs, and presumably cats too. These are domestic animals who can be kept indoors, but what about the wild ones?

He has two compromise suggestions which I think are very sensible. Firstly, people or organisations who want to set off fireworks apply to the local council for permission. This already exists, since there are noise and time conditions placed on a public entertainment licence for events such as weddings. This would apply to home or organised displays, or could be restricted so that people can't set them off at home at all.
Secondly, since it is possible to make quieter fireworks, keep the visually appealing ones, but restrict the amount of gunpowder that makes the bang. The sound from the "ariel bomb" type can carry miles, way beyond the reach of being able to see it, which probably isn't necessary.

I completely agree about restricting the noise, and I'm in favour anyway of all fireworks displays being organised (as a safety issue) although I realise that's unpopular.

Here fireworks are only allowed, with very very few exceptions for things like county fairs, rock concerts and increasingly weddings. But for anything outside of New Year's Eve you have to have permission and it's not cheap.

The sale of fireworks is also restricted to the 3 days before New Year's Eve too. Although that wouldn't really work in the UK what with Diwali and the 5th November - but some sort of restriction on sales (so that it's not spread out over weeks and weeks) would be possible.

If I remember rightly, the sale of fireworks in the UK used to have time limits on it (in the 1970s); so many days before 5th November and so many days afterwards, and hard luck if you hadn't got hold of them in time. That became gradually relaxed, and age restrictions were tightened up, although the size of the fines and the enforcement of selling fireworks to anyone underage has become increasingly reduced.

The trouble is, now that you can buy fireworks online, it's more or less unenforceable.

[Amy P]

There does seem to be a trend for fireworks at weddings and birthdays too, because I've heard them in the summer as well. And the nearby local tourist attraction often has summer events that end in a 45 minute firework display which can be heard, but not seen, from where I am, 5 miles away.

is under the sofa now, eyes glinting in the dark.

I agree too, both about the noise and about restricting them to organised displays.

Luckily my dog isn't too bad, he's reluctant to go into the garden when they're going off nearby but inside the house he's ok.

Those displays people have in summer, when it's not even a bit dark, boggle my mind. What on earth is the point?

Deb