h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

not quite got the hang of this H2g2 thing yet. but just though i'd try and say hi. thought i hadn't seen you on the boards much recently - hope you are ok.



xx

Hi Jennyb,

Have you changed your name from jennybridger?

Funnily enough, if so, then you popped into my thoughts yesterday and I was wondering how you were/are and how life is treating you?

Now you mention it, I`ve not been on the veg chat board so much in recent months. I can`t think of any particular reason for this - perhaps the posts haven`t been up my street. so many seem to have been about vegan baking or vegan chefs etc., and I`m a "use butter for baking" type of person.

All the best,
Alison aka Archiduc

it certainly seems that more vegans than veggies post there these days.

yes i did change my name. thought that posting my full name was a bit too open - despite the fact that loads of people know me like that now! i tend to stick to similar user names as my brain gets forgetful and easily confused!

i've got into baking recently - only bread but homemade is lovely. i wish i hd people to give stuff to/feed because then i could try and make other things. i'd love to try choux pastry and things like savoury/sweet pinwheels using yeast.

oh well maybe its not such a bad thing.

hope you've had a good weekend.

jenny

Hi Jenny,
I`ve just thought of another reason why I don`t post so often on the veg board and that is that it seems to move very much more slowly these days. 7/8 months ago there seemed to be lots of threads asking for ideas and as I have a few books with nothing but ideas - sadly not all my own, but culled from various sources and listed under individual heading for all the vegetables I like. so when someone asks for ideas for Aubergines, I`m able to open my notebook, check the page and see which of the 16 ideas I have listed would suit and have not been suggested before.

Actually, as a fellow foodie, who likes to think about food and cook, but can`t always cook for others what you would like or when you like, this is something which I think you would enjoy doing. It is great fun just generating ideas and being creative and I think you have sufficient taste, sensitivity and palate to do this. It stretches one`s imagination and lets you "mind taste".

Funnily enough I never suspect that you posted your full name. I always thought it was some form of nickname, like someone who live near a bridge. However, as I live in Edinburgh, I might think that!

Choux pastry is a great thing to make and if you are still making a meal once a week(?) or whatever, for your Mum and Step-dad, then it is well worth making - just use strong flour - the higher protein content gives a better rise and more stability (retains shape) after cooking! You could have a practice between now and Christmas and then make some over Christmas. It is not hard to make, but then I`m bound to say that! Actually, I think it is easier to make than shortcrust. Re. the pinwheels etc., made with a yeast dough - well, what else are Chelsea Buns other than a pinwheel type mixture. Anyway, if you`ve made bread a couple of times then you could make a pinwheel type mix with no problems. For a savoury one you could use grated cheese and diced sunblush tomatoes or walnuts, or spread with pesto and roll up and then have it with a soup for lunch at the weekends.

Anyway, more to the point, how are you coping with things?

I owe you an apology. I did not see your original posting on my H2g2 pages for months and months and then when I did see it, thought too much time had elapsed since you first posted, for me to reply. I am so glad yo posted again.

Al the best,
Alison

don't worry about apologising, the BBC message system doesn't seem that advanced or easy to use really!

i haven't done a "mum's night off" for a couple of weeks, but the 2 weeks before that i seemed to be cooking every night as we've been doing a lot of DIY in preparation for a carpet we had fitted this weekend. to be honest i'm not sure i'm up to it at the moment anyway. i seem to have enough trouble trying to work out what i'm going to make for myself let alone deciding on a recipe for them.

mum and i are off to bremen for the day on tuesday. i lied through my teeth when i replied to mum who asked me if i was looking forwards to it. the depression has really got a hold right now and i just can't seem to find enjoyment in anything much. i did admit to her that yes i was having "food nightmares" as she called it. but then i said to her that sometimes its just as hard during a normal day home here. in fact sometimes its worse. when i'm out i just have to get on and deal with it. i ate out for lunch with her whilst shopping the other weekend, must be the first time in months.

i've got a cough right now too which isn't helping my energy levels, and it seems to be taking a while to shift unsurprisingly.

how cold is it up north? got any snow yet?

xx

Hi Jenny,
How was Bremmen? How did you travel? IIRC, you posted some time ago about going to Christmas Fairs, so I`m making the large assumption that you`ve been to a Christmas Fair.

We have a Christmas Fair of sorts here in Edinburgh, in the gardens, in Princes Street, plus an ice rink which works if it doesn`t get to warm - no chance of that at the moment. Usually, there are a number of stalls with food and mulled wine, potato dishes of varied type and edibility(!), some with chocolates and donuts and others with German Christmas tree decorations. The rest are made up of shacks (think beach-hut) selling locally made produce. Some of it, especially the local food - cheeses, chutneys and jams and jewellery are very good. It is a site which wins because of the unique position. In parts, Edinburgh is a really beautiful city. The "old town" retains much of it`s beauty and architecture because it was never bombed during WW2 - unlike so many other European capitals. Still, some parts were bulldozed during the 60`s and rebuilt, and the BhS site on Princes Street has just been given "listed" status.

I am sorry to hear that things are not going so well for you at the moment. Depression is a singularly nasty, evil and invidious illness which seems to grab one like a spider grabbing it`s prey in a web. Sometimes the hardest task is simply to move, never mind eat. Add to that an eating disorder and it can become hell on earth. However, you can move forward, even if only in tiny steps. If you and your Mum are able to talk about your "food nightmares" then that is a positive step, albeit painful, so I would encourage you to keep talking - I`m sure you are anyway. It seems to me to be a step forward compared with your posts at the beginning of the year. Now, you managed to eat out with you Mum last weekend - frankly I think that is stupendous, as you managed to go out and eat out - two of the most difficult things - so you should take courage from this!

Have you been to see your GP recently and discussed medication etc? I`ve tried various medications but not all worked. Perhaps you could discuss alternatives - and there are many.

"but then i said to her that sometimes its just as hard during a normal day home here"

Do you manage to out during the day? Yes, I do know exactly how hard this is but, as I`ve said before, even a 20 minute walk would help. A walk, during daylight would/could help. One thing which I was advised to do was volunteering work - have you thought about this? Also, how is the jewellery making going? IIRC, you were selling some via an internet site.

You are clearly a creative person, so get creating! Last December I made calendars for people in the family and friends. I made a "places which are important to you" calendar for my Mother and my best friend. Trying to find a picture on "google images" for where my Mother was born and where my best friend`s husband was born (a small village in Italy, but I found it - much to her great surprise!) was not an easy task, I can tell you. Another friend loves cats and dance and keeps 2 calendars (work and home), so I put together 2 for her and, finally, my brother loves wildlife and birds so I did 2 for him. I did enjoy doing them and they kept me occupied and focused on something other than depression. Oh, then I saw your postings, just had to join the messageboard to "speak" with you and it`s been one of the best things I`ve done in years - so "THANK-YOU".

Take care and keep in touch,

Alison



Re. food - I don`t know what to say to you other than to try to eat often and little. Perhaps your natural regime is not 3 meals a day but 5/6/7 small meals. It might be inconvenient for others, but TOUGH! Too often we try to fit ourselves into the straightjacket of other`s expectations and patterns. I come from a family that likes to eat lunch and will get up from the table and "do" things. I can`t do this - a light salad is my best shot - and I have to relax for 20 minutes afterwards!

sorry Alison, i thought i had replied to this. sometimes i check messages with the intention of replying later but then forget to go back to them!

Bremen was ok, it was a long day, very cold and my body's not too good with cold weather. We wandered round the market, stopping for a drink mid morning, carried on walking (there were plenty of stalls) for a big department store, Karstadt (kind of like john lewis style) where they had a buffet style restaurant, so i found some soup and a roll there which was nice and warming and i felt ok eating.

we walked some more, stopped for an afternoon drink (mum wanted to try eggnog!) walked a bit more. i wanted to try something from the market but i didn't know whether to go sweet or savoury, i was hestitating and mum could see i was thinking about something. she asked me what i wanted and i told her i didn't know and that i was worrying and deliberating. her response was "well stop deliberating and go for it" *sigh* if only she could realise its not that easy....

i went for one of the german bretzels in the end. they were mainly huge ones in all different flavours but i found a stall selling smaller plain ones. so i picked at that on the way back to the airport and while we were waiting at the airport. stopped me worrying about food on the way home.

at that point i was still weighing myself daily and i freaked out slightly the next day when i saw my weight go up (even tho it was probably only water weight) and had a very tough day the next day.

but its all change now. i've banished my scales to the bottom of the wardrobe under the a pile of junk and i've asked my nurse to not weigh me for a bit. i just feel like i'm trying to keep my weight down because i know someone is watching my weight. she's agreed to give it ago, despite also talking about refering me to the hospital again. So fingers crossed this plan of action will gain me some weight with out me being very conscious of it.

i really should take a trip to edinburgh. with stansted on my doorstep day trips are so easy. i know mum and step dad have done fort william in a day after flying to glasgow.

i've become a bit of a recluse again recently after a period of time when i couldn't bare to be at home in my own company. i think a lot of it right now is down to the depression, as theres nothing i want to do or fill the need to do. there's a local town market and the local newspaper comes out on a thursday so i tend to keep that a routine for a thursday. i also seem to have lost all creative imagination with this low patch too. good job i did christmas cards and calendars early. although as you can see from the cakes when put under pressure time wise i can get things done.

all i want now is to get through xmas. we're supposed to be going to my grandparents on the 27th and i'm getting so stressed over it. my grandfather is ill and to be honest i'm secretly hoping that the flu he's got will last til then and we won't have to go. i feel awful for saying it because i'd love to see my nan and i feel bad for not seeing them. but my stress levels are through the roof.

anyway once again i've rambled on about my crap.

how are you? is christmas a good time for you? i hope so. been ice skating yet??

anywy time to get moving and off my backside. i'm meeting mum in her lunch break for a drink and then coming home for lunch. i can't quite handle eating out right now.

take care

xx