Journal Entries
Healing;
Posted Dec 27, 2007
From Louise L. Hay
I can heal myself on all levels
This is a time of compassion and a time of healing.
Go within and connect with that part of yourself that knows
how to heal. It is possible. Know that you are in the process of
healing. This time you discover your healing abilities-abilities
that are strong and powerful. You are incredibly capable. So be willing to go to a new level to find abilities and capabilities that you were not aware of, and not to cur a dis-ease, but to truly heal yourself on all possible levels. You are spirit, and being spirit, you are free to save yourself...and the world. And so it is.
I don't need anyone to tell me the truth, I know the truth.
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Latest reply: Dec 27, 2007
Gaia;
Posted Dec 27, 2007
I don't dance anymore, but I do consider hatha yoga basic ancient
dance, so maybe I do. Am I so paranoid or not? Do I have good reasons
or not? Everything that I've done has been just me telling my side of the story. Through the mail,over the telephone lines, in person,on television even if it is only public access. I've just tryed to protect my civil liberties. Who blames me?
Again I've been all aone in this whole mess, most people think it's all so funny, thinking they spread Aids. Even I see the humor, not in Aids but in how insane this whole world is ,or atleast everyone connected to this drama.
I've done everything by blind faith, for Gaia, ofcourse I'm on the side of the 65 million people who are living and have died of HIV/Aids.
Ofcourse I can't help but hate the "Aids Axis Dragon".
So whose to blame? The whole world? Apathy, turning a blinds eye
to so much mass murder and genocide? Crimes against humanity and the planet.
Is it so different then the death camps of World War two?
Are the same firms behind?
Like I've said, it's world karma, individual karma,all of Gaia,
powers beyond everyones control; but there is still free will.
Gaia demands death! It's the "Aids Axis Dragons" own damn fault
for not stopping it all and handling it the right way a long long time ago. So boil it down to who actually spreads this curse and who makes the most money off it.
They say it's not in there jurisdiction, crimes against humanity?
The fleecing of America.The US Code Collection, The Geneva Conventions,
The Suppression of Genocide. Insurance fraud, The Freedom of Information acts,Money Laundering,The Constitution,computer crimes,illegal wiretapping and legal wiretapping.
There are always enough young students coming up in this world, enough young recruits, it's time to remove this scrouge on humanity.
And why should I personally care? No one has done me any favors.
Oh I get paid back a little by the tax payer, by Pathways to Housing.
The only thing I can prove is how insane I am.
Paranoid schizophrenia, manic depression, depression,anxiety,
schizoid behavior, split personality disorder, neurosises, psychosises,
and nervous disorders.
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Latest reply: Dec 27, 2007
Understanding;
Posted Dec 24, 2007
God forgive me for calling my own family a triple curse. I know
my poor dead father survived Aushwitz-Berkinau. He didn't survive by working the ovens either, I really don't know how he survived he never spoke about it. But he didn't have to treat me like such shit either.
It was just his dumb luck to survive by the skin of his teeth. I don't know if he went on the final death march or what.
My mother was born on Christmas day, and I after studying so much yoga am not even going to call her to wish her a happy birthday.
Can you believe me? I have no pity for her, at all. I don't care what anyone would say. The rage I feel is real.
I'm tired of it all, I don't care anymore.
Like I've said before I think of all man kind as one family.
I know lot's of nice people and have many nice acquantances.
I never expected to be a professional ballet dancer, the most important thing are good feet. I do not have good feet at all.
I know how many people get masters degrees in the performing arts and never really get anything aswell. So a career I never had does not effect me.
How many filthy rotten rich people in this world are really unhappy or have committed suicide. Money is not everything at all.
And I could care less who my great great great grandmother was.
Like that means anything at all.
I'm over it all, it just hurts me alittle. I do not care.
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Latest reply: Dec 24, 2007
Understanding;
Posted Dec 24, 2007
I don't think I'm so smart either. I never had to live in that shitty building in the east village with a constant gas leak. I deserved my SSI then. I never should have cared at all about the whole Aids plague or done anything. Why did I have to make myself so miserable. Ranting to a recording on the psychic line on the telephone.
Thinking I'm protecting myself or helping anyone, like the world monitoring didn't know about them all already? Like I expected anyone to admit they were wiretapping my phone lines. Like I didn't know the
"Aids Axis Dragon" had all the money and power in this world.
Like I didn't understand all of them! I understood it all to well.
And still understand it all to well. I couldn't help it.
I remember seeing their spirits at the time screaming!"Stop him!"
Stop him from what? From having a decent life at all. Like I could really do anything about it. Like I would have known or cared if they had left me alone! Like it even matters how rich or famous you are to them! What did they think I was going to do to them? Everything I've done is nothing in comparison. Nothing at all, I've done nothing about it. And everything I've done hasn't cost me a penny either. They just hated me for being alive at all. Modern day Nazis, it doesn't matter if your black or jewish they're modern day Nazis...
I've been alone in it all,never depending on anyone. Never expected anything from anyone either. Why did I ever care, I don't know.
If I had a brain in my head I would have ran away from home when I was twelve to get away from my triple curse of a family. Like my own father wouldn't have set me up too for another round of poker, let's not forget the ungrateful mother and sister. I wish I had run away like my pal yubbsie told me. I wish I had run away changed my name and sold myself out to the nearest pedophile, maybe then I would have escaped my present and past quarter of a century fate.
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Latest reply: Dec 24, 2007
Back in 1985
Posted Dec 24, 2007
Back in 1985 I was reading the Seth material by Jane Roberts.
Anyway this is the letter I wrote her when I saw her spirit typing away.
January Twentieth Nineteen Eighty Five
Dear Jane Roberts, Rupert,Robert and ofcourse Seth.
Being a crazed dancing yogi I ecstatically leapt about.
Lifes beauties overwhelm me Passions possess me
So I leapt about In my plush purple room touched the ceiling
Oh the weeks artistry haults! Sickling smashing tendons
Over-acting on a bad sprained ankle.
I lie in my dark green bedroom whimpering of my doom
Hobbling hopping the heaps I still leapt about on one leg
Yet for three weeks I began my novel (various suicide).
Time to read! I stumble upon my girlfriends book.
Turquoise cloth washed worn from many seasons of use,faint memories
of letters on the side where torn with time the title yells out
The Nature of Personal Reality: A Seth Book.
Over again with bits of Adventures In Consciousness and
The World View Of Paul Cezanne.
I loved Oversoul Seven and Psychic Politics.
Which I am just finishing. The healing techniques work for me. Also helping my art work, dancing, singing and helping me keep a journal.
I've visited the Louvre in astral form, and know I still am.
Last spring I felt as if I'd entered the world view at The Cathedral Of Saint John The Divine on one hundred and twelfth.
It really just took a second. When at the center of praise I raised my arms and everyone swayed to Paul Winters brazilian beats. Then eating
a chocolate replica of The Metropolitan Opera House. Then suddenly accidentally falling around their world. All would have been well. If I had even tryed to talk and act like a human being. For I fell again
wasn't suppose to be there any way. Not true. You see I was meant for
them all along. You see I am a great dancer but because I love laziness
I've never lasted long. But I remember and forsee all my dancing selves
I still continue to improve somehow. As if I call Nijinsky from the grave to teach me beats in the air. As if a lost love came to me through the spirit world still tied to earth Marilyn came and soothed me. Ofcourse it all sounds nuts.
Oh Love! Why canst I act accordingly!
Leopards are not tame enough for the bird cage.
To be so still so passive.
I want to do, why do I keep at a halt?
I fell upon The Seth Material oneday at the NYC lioned library.
Answering questions of arguments days after the incidense.
I was wondering if you still held classes? I would love to attend a few. I know you probably get swamped with letters written by lost cosmic superstars. You've helped me so much though I've pictured you typing writing away. I would greatly appreciate some response even just information on classes or new books. Any idea would help. You see its either the darkness before the dawn or I'm hopelessly lost.
Sincerely
About a month later I did recieve a response.
Dear correspondent; Febuary 15 1985
It is with deep sorrow that I must inform you of the death of my
wife, Jane Roberts, at 2:08 AM on Wednesday, September 5, 1984. I was with her when she died. I thankyou for writing, and truly regret that
I cannot reply in detail. Jane asked that I publish as much of her work as possible. This can result in several more books, and I ask your support over the years to come-for Jane and her work still live on!
I'm sorry to have to shock you, but thanks for your letter and the art most interesting !
Good luck in your career. my best Robert F. Butts.
I know all this doesn't prove I'm in conntact with the other side but it is very interesting.
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Latest reply: Dec 24, 2007
krsnakat
Researcher U10585756
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