IRC and Women
<BODY BGCOLOR="#000000" TEXT="#FFFFFF" LINK="#C0C0C0" VLINK="#C0C0C0" background="zertxtr.gif">
<center> <table width="80%" border="1"><tr align="center"><td><img src="http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Coffeehouse/2028/genre.jpg" >http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Coffeehouse/2028/genre.jpg" width="535" height="50" alt="Internet: The New Genre"></td></tr><tr align="justify" bgcolor="#000000"><td align="justify"><font face="terminal" color="green">>Contacting DISCORDIA server...<blink>_</Blink><BR/>><BR/>>CONNECTING 52000bps...<BR/>>LOGIN: Phenotype<BR/>>PW: *******<blink>_</Blink><BR/><BR/>><BR/>>Greetings Phenotype... 98.05.13 - Your column is way overdue, as to be expected.<BR/>><BR/>>upload love_irc_style.txt<blink>_</Blink></font><font face="terminal"><BR/><BR/>Welcome to the Internet. Land of geeks, nerds and losers. Where men are almost men and women chat. Not that chatting is all that bad. But really, there are better ways to spend your life than sitting infront of a computer for 8 hours a day chatting with an 80 year old guy who thinks he is a 16 year old girl.<blink>_</Blink><BR/><BR/>Now chatting in of itself is a fine thing. You chat with friends, with family and you can meet people over the Internet. It's all good. But in moderation people! An hour or two at a time. It's a great way to keep down on your LD bills or to meet people from other places, broaden your horizons. But please, please feed the dog. And bathing isn't a bad idea either.<blink>_</Blink><BR/><BR/>I admit, I chat. And often I break the one or two hour limit. But, I keep my chatting to a small, select group of people. Mostly friends from real life. (You know, Reality<sup>TM</sup>, that new game?) And occassionally for a completely different purpose I chat with my girlfriend. And no, I did not meet her on the internet. I'm not one of those freaks.<blink>_</Blink><BR/><BR/>Really people, how often has it pissed you off that you go up to a girl, a perfectly normal girl (the one with the circuit-board earrings), and ask her "What are you doing tomorrow night?"<blink>_</Blink><BR/><BR/>"I'm chatting." A perfectly normal answer.<blink>_</Blink><BR/><BR/>"You can chat some other time. Buffy's on."<blink>_</Blink><BR/><BR/>And she answers, "I'll be chatting with my fiance and taping Buffy."<blink>_</Blink><BR/><BR/>You shrug, try to play it cool and ask, "so, where is your fiance from?"<blink>_</Blink><BR/><BR/>"Zimbabwe," she responds, sipping on her Jolt cola while casually programming her TI-82. "We met in the alt.2600 chat room in Undernet. We were discussing the finer points of COBOL."<blink>_</Blink><BR/><BR/>"Completely Obnoxious Because Of Length?" you think to yourself. Off hand you respond, "So what is your fiance like?"<blink>_</Blink><BR/><BR/>"I don't know. I've never met him but we're getting married next week."<blink>_</Blink><BR/><BR/>Now people, is this nuts? Is there some reason why this guy in Zimbabwe can get a date and I can't? (probably because I'm too busy writing columns!) Okay, so maybe I can get a date, but what about all the other geek guys in the world. You know, the odd types that occasionally enjoy sunlight? How are they to find a girlfriend that knows how to turn on a computer? (ergo a geek)<blink>_</Blink><BR/><BR/>Thanks to the advent of IRC, women can easily hunt down the perfect man, be he in Armenia, Macedonia or Zimbabwe. But what are all us imperfect geeks supposed to do if all these woman are hiding behind these lit computer screens unwilling to show their faces to the moonlight? (because we all know geeks aren't awake when the sun is up) And yes, it takes two to DCC. Occasionally that means a guy is involved in chatting as well.<blink>_</Blink><BR/><BR/>Women, I know it's hard to find a good man, especially a good geek guy. But you need to realize you don't have to look any farther than a computer lab or arcade. And guys, you have to realize geek girls are shy and have to be dragged out of their shell. When you're sitting in the lab on IRC, try typing /WHO *insert your college server here* Cheat guys, cheat! Remember it's not cheaters never prosper. It's cheaters can't admit to how they prospered through cheating. You may not find the perfect match like you would in Zimbabwe, but atleast you will know the touch of a real human being
rather than typing with one hand.<blink>_</Blink>
<BR/><BR/></font><font face="terminal" color="green">>
Transmission received.<BR/>>NO CARRI-*%&*$<BR/><BR/></font></table>
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Czar Eggbert
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