h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

That was nasty!!

That was VERY nasty.

*runs downstairs in a vain attempt to retrieve the forever-lost doughnuts*

~Greebo's eyes open wide as the doughnuts disapear from sight~

Ohhhhh.. I feel dizzy..... ~Greebo staggers a bit~

~FLOP... Greebo falls over... lying on back with paws dangling in air... ~

*races back upstairs again*

I've got them! I've got them! They fell onto a ledge just a couple of floors down, and they're okay, I think...

*pants to regain his breath*

Please! Greebo! Wake up! Look! Doughnuts... your favourite!

What have I done?
Greebo, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

It looks like the shock has induced a coronary.
But don't worry! Luckily I always carry my Urban Fascist Electric Tazer Gun(TM) with me. Soon have that little feline heart beating again.

Clear!

FZZZT!

Clear!

FZZT!

Come on! breath!

Clear!

FZZT!

Oh! Thank god! We all thought we'd lost you then.

*helps Greebo to her feet*

~Greebo gets shakily to here feet... her fur is standing up on end~

Coooo... what happened????

~Blue sparks flare off Greebo's ears~

Me is all static-y... why is this?

SOMEBODY... sorry, somebody, dared to not let you have some doughnuts... i have no idea who that could have been...

*stares pointedly at a certain somebody...*

I think you're staticy because of the temporary non-eating of doughnuts... it has been known to have that effect sometimes...

Hmmm... Me thinks me would feel a lot better with a doughnut or ten inside me... ~shaky grin~

By the way, Oh Cooked One Cell One... ~grin~... did you have twouble will staticy... ~another grin~ ... Is that a word?? Is that how its spelt??? ~yet another grin~... Why do I let these things twouble me????

Well here's 42 doughnuts I have going spare... you're welcome to all you can eat...

I don't think "staticy" is a word, but it's much better than the grammatically correct alternative, which is "full of static"

Yes, I occasionally get all "staticy" ... but when there are no doughnuts available, I just have some toast with blackcurrant jam and that seems to solve the problem...

I have no idea why you let these things trouble you... maybe you just want to be a grammatically correct cat?

Hmmm... Yummy scrummy in my tummy... ~Greebo finishes off the 42nd doughnut~... could really do with a glass of milk about now... ~delicately cleaning whiskers of doughnut crumbs~

You are sooooooooo clever Oh Cooked One Cell One... and soooooo generous... no wonder me wuold follow you to the ends of the earth... ~big grin~... or at least until you suply of doughnuts ran out...

Ah... let me tell you about my supply of doughnuts...

I have most of the large corporations around the world involved in supplying them... half of all British Airways flights are dedicated to bringing doughnuts from America, where Dunkin Donuts sell me 75% of their daily output, and they in turn use ingredients produced by many of the world's biggest food manufacturers... the list goes on...

I only have a small bottle of milk, I'm afraid... I hope it's enough...

~Greebo judges the bottle size~... At least tell me you have a straw to go with that!!!!

Oh yes, I wouldn't forget something important like that...

Oh you are simply the bestest... ~another BSK~