Journal Entries
3rd of December 1999
Posted Dec 3, 1999
hey ... one good friend said to me one week ago that i might miss the feeling of being in love because i'm in a cerebral relationship with someone. i said to him something like:
- but i'm happy as things are now, i love it like this, no bullshit and stuff like that, being in love isn't just ME
he said:
- oh you're going to leave it like that ... thaz bad
- well, i have been in love with someone earlier and i didn't like it, it was about expectations (i think, from my side, arrrgh!!) ... but most certainly i won't be thinking of the times (: why should i? thing is that even if i am not experiencing *being* in love now it doesn't mean i'd be lacking of feelings altogether. i'm *LIVING* IN LOVE, i AM surrounded by it. so i'm not missing any part of it. and i love it.
- hmm.
- yeah, think about it ...
--
anyway, he also said that of all my personality traits he finds my perception of love the most difficult to understand ...
my love is very simple, it's based on little things and truth ... many take it that it's complicated when in fact it is not!! gotta smile to that (: it's so simple that it is almost insane or something ... i don't know but it works damn well. i guess it requires two very strong persons who aren't messed up with insecurities and all ... that they love themselves as much as the person they care about. you tell me. all i know is that i'm very happy. (((: it's like being separate of the person, not too attached but still so close that i can feel everything, and that everything affects me much but that i'm just the other person, entity, standing beside him. it's funny really. (:
i've tried to put this stuff in words, not that successfully though, maybe when my english vocabulary increases ... who knows ... maybe it's unexplainable ... like sometimes you *just know* something but can't put it in words for someone unless this person happens to feel exactly the same. yeah ...
--
he did say that he was comparing his life to mine and said sorry ... i said it was ok that he can tell me everything he wants to. was quite nice to hear this stuff from him. (: i guess he did it of care towards me. (tho' he loves to be in love, hmm!! 
so .. heh. got to ask him. being in love is fine i guess ... with right kind of person (i didn't say the one and only) to make it be fun. (:
okë ...
moo,
-S
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Latest reply: Dec 3, 1999
Bovinity
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