h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

How have you been? Pardon an American, what are earprints?

earprints? don't remember this....

Nice name,by the way!

"Known a bunch of strange people, many of whom have strange earprints." or something like that. I read this on your homepage under the heading of "Me".
Thanks. We've had a discussion about your name before. Why the change from Haught???nus (spelling)?

Yeah, um, I felt I needed a revampment of names. And I needed to clarify the Rome thing. So I did.

Oh yes, earprints are merely prints left by ears.

Hope that clears that point up

I've been given a task by someone. Do you know what a fluffer is? Nobody I know has heard of it. Maybe you (all knowledgeble Jac) can help me.

never heard of it before, but at a rough guess I would say an implement with which to perform fluffing.

or is it like where you mess something up? I think thats a fluff, but it could be a fluffer as well.

I suppose.

Here,have a grape.

* Proffers aforementioned fruit

*accepts grape greedily*

BELLCCHHH! Oh, excuse me! I'm so delicate!

Beer?
*proffers aforementioned beverage*

* takes beer reverently. Pulls pringles from satchel. Munches contentedly

BEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLCH!!!

* Picks up chair and sits down again.

*Ha, ha, snicker, snort*
Ahhh, a belch to be proud of!
*sniffs the air*
Hmm, grapes, beer, and chips. Excellent body, un-pleasant to the nostril, a hint of garlic, and a full finish.
With a belch like that, I can't wait for your fart!

* musters rectal forces.....

Step away from the cabbage and beans!
I said, step away from the cabbage and beans!

* puts hands above head,puts third hand behind back. Swallows canned sausage with lightning movement.


BANG!!!

typhoon-strength evil-smelling winds tear through the area,causing no damage at all, strangely.

*stands looking dazed and confused*

*crosses self and says a small prayer against all things evil*

Uhmm, do you need me to loan you some panties, son?
It sounded like your ass said hello, and left a present behind!

* gasps in astonishment *

ANOTHER name change?

Identity crisis or what?

You should be talking.....
*smilies sweetly*
You aren't even in the right century!

*smacks head*
Well, that was the dumbest comeback I ever heard! Or said, I mean!
I need another beer!
*opens two- offers one*
I was the thinking of all the dirty jokes one could make with your nickname.

Of course, as I've learned, slang here isn't always the same there. Or maybe you intended it that way......

* turns down beer on grounds of protection of the ecosystem *

Um, can't think of any immediate dirty jokes, so do enlighten me...

Of course, I may just be being obtuse.

* decides that the ecosystem can go to hell, and accepts beer after all *

To be down right crude......
*burrrppppp*
As in jack off.....
If you'd do it the right way, I'd have to Jac-u-less!

Uh-huh. Hadn't noticed that.

But I'm not going to change it.

Not not not.