h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Not Stolen - A87744072
Author: GregPius - U13648184

The boy meets girl, boy chucks girl away, boy falls for girl all over again story line is tried and tested. It has to be handled carefully to avoid predictability.
I have another part to this story that explores the original "death" of the love between these two. This inclusion would make the story more philosophical.

I don't see why the woman should come back from her holiday ' a different woman'. I could imagine, on the other hand, that she might give her lover the cold shoulder if he'd been prosecuted for stealing the flowers.

As for the end, I can believe that they might see each other on the train, look at each other but not speak. But it would be more romantic if the man bought a bunch of flowers and left it on her doorstep.

What if the woman then sent the man a text message telling him not to leave anything on her veranda? Life is sometimes not that neat. And the woman may have trust issues with a convicted man.

But I don't think those issues would be resolved by a grope on the train either.


It seems more likely that they would look at each other, think what might have happened between them if circumstances had been different, and part.

You are probably right! And given the crowded nature of trains in Sydney they may not have much say in the matter. But to give the story a strange twist, you could have the man discover that he had fallen in love with this woman but decide that he is no good for her. He might then just walk away,along the station platform. But the woman decides that she can forgive his past misdeeds and give him a second chance. A trigger would be needed for this given the time poverty facing this romance. So perhaps the man learns two words of French in prison - pas vole. The woman may be a former French student. The man utters those words in his poor French and puts his hand on his heart. the woman sees and hears him! And she forgives him.
Some back writing would be needed for the time he is in prison. Get him to write a poem to her from his jail cell. Its headed: My Heart Not Stolen but Freely Given. And there are possibilities with social networking subplots. So the woman hears those two words in French and chases after him on the platform. She then places her hand in his and walks beside him down the stairs. The man dare not turn around and break the spell. He raises her hand to his lips and kisses it before he moves closer to his love. How's that for an improbable ending?

Very romantic, but a bit improbable!

I don't see our hero languishing in prison if he's just stolen a few flowers. He could lose his job. Say he's a gardener and he's stolen the flowers from his employers?

Maybe.

That sounds good and i thought of a new ending.
Instead of the last line you can have them leave open their future together. Get them to kiss each other on the cheek and then walk away to their respective jobs. The reader can then give whatever interpretation they want to that kiss. The song with the line "A kiss is just a kiss!"
will come to some readers. Others may read more into that ending.