h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Grasshopper Vertigo - A77082159
Author: Dmitri Gheorgheni - U1590784

Okay, you people, this is why the word 'grasshopper' makes me nervous unless it's being said to somebody named Carradine.

Oh, and this story IS autobiographical.

This is vivid and, yes, I can imagine that grasshoppers or locusts in their thousands would be frightening.

Did you ever see Quatermass and the Pit?

No. But if it has swarms of grasshoppers or locusts in it, I don't wanna.

Uh oh. When I came to this grasshopper piece, like just now, it had hopped off. Temporary hidden. Moderated. Another disappearing story.

Do I panic? .

Now I am curious. And hungry to read it. And hopeful. And agitated. And panicking. And not panicking. .

cc

typo.

I can't type any more. my typing skills are have temporarily hidden away.

not temporary hidden, like I typed.

they are in a state of temporary hidden-ness.

like the story.

are have????see what I mean? again I repeat - my typing skills have tempor .... etc.

none of this is going to bring back that story.

I am speechless.

Elektra's comment:

'They have removed your grasshopper story. That's funny, because you didn't discuss earmuffs. The grasshoppers must have an anti-defamation league. I didn't know they were that well-organised.'



Perhaps someone will enlighten us. Then again, perhaps they will be too busy to do this, and we will never know.

I am curious, and will now go over to the beta to see how that looks there.

The grasshoppers are agents for an alien intelligence.

By adopting the form of small insects, they are lulling us into a false sense of security. But, somewhere out there they are watching and waiting for their opportunity.

And you have sussed them out...

And they are controlling the moderation protocols of h2g2. (That would explain it.)

You've figured it out, MVP! Watch out, they may start spying on you next.

The science fiction author Robert Anton Wilson, in his 'Illuminatus Trilogy', suggests that it is possible to foment revolution by increasing the individual's irritation at low-level evidence of societal repression on the part of petty bureaucracy. Perhaps the grasshoppers are anarchists?

Definitely.

I can just see them marching, in their millions, on the banks and government departments...

Can I have a tinfoil hat, please?

Absolutely.

I'm opening a new line of them in ladies' fashion designs.

Me too, please.

Thank goodness for email.

As usual, I can't imagine what's allegedly wrong with the story.

Hey Bel Zastar - is that you? Nice name.

You have entered the Zone of the Disappearing Grasshopper Story. .

I haven't been in for a few hours, but from what I can see there is a sub-story already being written here in this thread. . If the main story ever returns - and it had better - it will now embrace this sub-story as a Mentor and a Brother. It will owe its life to this legendary sub-story. These two stories might even get a cabaret slot in Vegas. They could do world tours.

S'cuse me my friend Dmitri - you are opening a new line of what? in ladies' fashions? tinfoil hats or grasshoppers or something entirely other?

You see what I mean, Bel? I think Dmitri and mvp are on a roll. Who knows where they will end, or begin. .

Suddenly I see a very elegant ladies' fashion department, in a big store someplace. I've never been in one. I'm just envisioning here. . And, in this fashion department there are plants in golden flowerpots. And there are all these little grasshoppers hopping around, from plant to plant. Why? I don't know. Its a kind of a thing, you know. A fashion thing. Atmosphere. Authentic. Natural. Natural world fashions.

I feel peculiar.

I have to go eat.

Go eat. You are peculiar enough.

I wouldn't ever work in a shop with grasshoppers in. If the story were there, you would know why.

We were talking about tinfoil hats. What size do you require?

Malabarista informs me that a tinfoil-hat smiley is not practicable. What a shame.

I'm disappointed not to be able to see this one.

I was rather hoping to join the fray with another grasshopper story

Oh, please do. I'm sure yours won't get yikesed, unless we're right and there's a cicada lobby out there.

In the meantime, is it illegal to post links to one's blogs, or is that considered crass advertising and infra dig?

We do it in Atelier quote file, alternatively, you just stick it in my PS. Either way I'd love to read it.

Been giving my story some thought. May add it in the next day or two. Well, the worst than can happen is you'll laugh me out here

As you can tell, we're prone to excessive laughter around here. But not in a mean way. We enjoy the process.

Okay, at the risk of offending, there is now a blog (thank you, editor, for the nudge in this direction). This blog, of course, has nothing to do with anything :

http://gheorgheniesque.blogspot.com

My blog-designed skills are still of the incunabulan variety, so the only picture this blog has on it so far is the profile picture rejected by the new Capital H-2-Capital G-2 site people for no adequately explained reason, as it was a picture of me, I'm over 16, and it violates nobody's copyright.

I honestly cannot see why your story has been hidden, Dmitri. Beyond ridiculous.

Oh well, maybe it'll be back when a human looks at it. It should come back, it's very good.