h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Hours - A3953739
Author: fallingnightmare - U1216365

Umm I moved it but sorry I was new and the grammer well trust me that isnt my strong point nor is my spelling. I hope you enjoy if not please let me know I am open for what people have to say.

I know I'm perhaps being picky here but can you quickly run this through a spell checker for typos and then I'll read it again. I find odd spelling really distracting.

Thanks
Kat

Shame on you Kat, I am surprised at you; thought you knew better!

Unless I am mistaken, or being played for a fool, this writer has a genuine problem with spelling and grammar and should be given some practical guidance rather than even the gentlest chide! She reads and likes to write, which is an admirable attitude for one who finds it difficult.
The advice I would give her is:
Always read everything at least twice, once to look at all the spellings,punctuation and grammar in detail, slowly, and with patience. A second time to pick up the meaning of the writing and to try to understand the message. Make this your permanent habit of mind. Try to link spellings with little phrases, such as, for example: embarrassment 'Two red ears and two scarlet cheeks' (two 'r's and two 's's).
Not many people can grasp form or meaning on a first read, especially on technical subjects

Ron

It's a striking poem.
It's very black. Maybe you should try to inject some hope into it.

It reminds me of something I found on the internet a while ago. I couldn't relocate it when I tried just now, and I suppose I'm not sorry, really.

It was based on the note left by Dmitry Kolesnikov, one of the few men who survived the initial explosion on the Russian submarine Kursk. The writer imagined Kolesnikov's thoughts as he faced inevitable death in the cold and dark, and it was an empty and chilling piece. It wasn't a tirade; it was too resigned for that. It was an outpouring of something, but I couldn't decide what. Sadness, certainly, but for what? Bitterness? Perhaps, but I couldn't be sure.

It really shook me when I read it. I couldn't decide whether writing it had been a good or bad thing. It made me feel like a voyeur, a very reluctant one.

Back at your poem, you should tell us what you want. This all seems too fragile, somehow, for gloves-off crit.

You be OK anyway, fn

Pin (thoughtful)

I looked at the writer's Introduction before reading 'Hours'.
That is what I based my previous comments on.
I like to know what makes the writer tick.
The passage is mysterious to those who don't know its provenance, like myself, but seems well presented enough as it stands.
The writer feels she has difficulties. That can be a bit inhibiting in itself. Such contributors need our encouragement.

Sorry I didn't mean to say that there was a problem with not being good at spelling or grammar. I often have horrific issues and there's dictionaries all over the place in my house. All I meant was that there are several things that a spellchecker in Word or Works will pick up and will help to neaten it up easily. Sorry if you felt I was being harsh.

I like the repetition here:

'In these last few hours we could all know.
In these last few hours we could all see,'

and I always find that using time and its passing as a vehicle for a message has a good impact on me.

I'm interested as to why you used 'can' rather than 'can't' in this line:

'You can help but break down
We all want so much but it all just boils down . . . .'

and what you feel the elipses (dots) at the end add to that section.

What did writing this piece make you feel? What were your emotions when you started writing and do you feel you successfully conveyed them? Reading it back now, when you are perhaps in a different frame of mind, what do you now see and would you change anything?

Kat

Thank you sorry it took so long to respond I am not lame or anything I just the first time I read these I sorta was at a blank stage of mind I was tired so I understand but now I am writing to say thank you for the grammer help and the review.

I am off with the writing process right now so umm I will get back to you on those questions as soon as possible I am kinda busy all the time. sorry