h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Valentine Inaugural - A47116163
Author: dmitrigheorgheni - U1590784

Okay, this one is for 'The Stretcher'.

I took this rather literally: A valentine on the theme from the word 'inaugural'. 'Inaugural' means beginnings, so...

To me, a valentine has to have two things: one, it's about being in love, and two, it's addressed to the person you're in love with.

This is a 'stretch' for me on two counts:

1. I usually try to avoid writing about 'lerve'.

2. I NEVER say anything good about Yankees.

Making maple syrup is a New England undertaking, however.

Birds do it, bees do it
Even Yankees tapping trees do it

Great! I wondered what you could do with 'inaugural'.

The image of the woman is lovely: conveying both her appearance and her warmth of heart. I did wonder if the couplet beginning 'Your mouth's a rose' was a bit cliched, but you puncture it with the last line.

Couple of crits:
I'm not sure why it's 'long' about mid-February.
You could tauten this a bit by taking out a few articles etc.

I thought "long about" was somehow vernacular(?) for "Around about" and therefore OK.

And it maybe unintended but "tapping" has another meaning in that green and pleasant land.

Of course better than just good though.

I like it a lot! Different. I too like the way that the woman's warmth of character is conveyed.

I felt as though I was there, in the cold - enjoying the glow of their warmth. Lovely

Thanks, guys.

MVP, I took out a couple of articles. I don't want to take out more because this is supposed to sound vernacular without being too obvious about it.

Well noted, Trout - long about = around about. To make this clear to the reader, I have added an apostrophe.

This guy's from Maine or thereabouts, and you wouldn't understand him if he spoke. 'Dahn East' is not quite as bad as Glaswegian. I left out 'ayup'.

Well-spotted, too, with the cliche towards the end. The idea - perhaps a little on the dodgy side - was that of course this feller would think about love in a cliche like that...

And, like every other lover before him, find himself totally original.

Unfortunately for him, "moon" doesn't rhyme on "February"

But fortunately for us.

'You're much too much, and just too very-very,
To be someone I'd meet in February...'

I loved the line
'I was hooked as solid as the bucket under the spigot.'
That seems to be just the kind of simile your bloke would use.

Thank you, MVP. Glad that line worked.

Ms GB

Love it You brought a smile to my face, dmg. Thank you

Thanks for the kind comment.

Highly enjoyable. Leaves a nice warm feeling.

Mmm, wintery. I like it. Well done!

minimouse>

You mean life's not over at 40? Somebody should have told me.

Wonderful image you give us, and a great atmosphere.