h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: In An Office - A40653920
Author: Tibley Bobley - U170471

This wasn't the story I set out to write. I meant to carry on with the demon story. (That's going slowly.) But this is what popped out instead. It was cluttering up my head and it feels better out than in, as they say. A thing that happened recently is combined here, with two other, older stories (one from a disabled friend and one from an aunt). Are the three stories plaited together in a way that makes one coherent story?

Thank you for reading.

That is really well written, Tib. It came out as true.

At the same time, it made me boiling mad - we have fought long and hard over on this side of the water for total handicapped access to *everything*. That means lifts with braille on them. That means ramps outside my apartment building. That means all the best parking spaces have a sign on them, and the rest of us get off our duffs and walk a few more metres, so there - and thank heaven we can.

Having had schoolfriends who taught me in practise what the word 'mobility' meant to the blind, I can't imagine someone resenting a coworker who needs an accommodation. (And as I get older, more nearsighted, more hard-of-hearing, I am often the one with the need.) But I can recognise this in your story. It's convincing, and it makes me angry.

At the same time, the conclusion took me by surprise. The idea that Jude got her sense of self-worth back - and gained respect into the bargain - by exacting revenge on someone else is startling.

The moral ambiguity of that is intriguing.

for not taking the high road on this. It makes the story more real.

One little thought: it seems to me that the point about Kevin is that he has a handicap, one that is hidden rather than obvious. Rather than being crippled in body, he is crippled in soul.

An excellently told story.

TRiG.

Thank you! Thank you!

It came out all right then

That's it dmitri. It could happen to anyone and it doesn't do to treat vulnerable people in a way that you wouldn't want to be treated if you were in their position. Some people do though, don't they? And there are companies that just try to make themselves *look* caring while not really caring at all.

You're right about Kevin. As Bob Dylan said: "one thing you can't hide, is when you're crippled inside"

That is brilliant, Tibley, on so many levels.

Thank you Rich

It's funny. That one just seemed to pop out on its own - as some do. Now I come to read it through again, in the light of a new day, I can see layers that I wasn't aware of while I was writing it.

I agree that it's a good story, showing us life from Jude's point of view and experiencing the reactions to her disability.

As Dmitri said, there is a certin moral ambiguity about the end. Jude wreaks her revenge, the unpleasant Kevin goes, and people treat her better. Wouldn't she feel some nagging guilt? I think I would.

Encouragingly, it's not my experience of office life: where I worked every door had a special pad for disabled people to use, the lift buttons had the numbers in braille and we all went on equal opportunity training courses. But then I worked for a big government department; I can quite believe that things would be different in a small company.

Thanks mVpoet

A touch of moral ambiguity seems to be becoming a conspicuous feature of my stories, doesn't it? She might feel guilty. I'm not sure. Perhaps about causing the shock to Kevin's wife. A rash act in the heat of the moment. A step too far. Yes, I think she might. She probably does.

I like that idea. That she might feel guilty about Kevin's wife.

Such a detail would point up a contrast between that feeling and her lack of guilty feelings about costing Kevin his job.

Just found this from the ParaOlympics thread. Must read but have to go now. If it is up to your usual standard it will be worth the wait.

Websailor

Right ho dmitri. I'll make the poor woman feel guilty. And I'll report back when I've done it

Hi Websailor. What thread is that then

This one, save you hunting http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/alabaster/F43348?thread=5781875&latest=1 Websailor

PS Scroll down for Trig's post

WS

Thanks Websailor. The h2g2 search engine found nothing when I put in ParaOlympics.

Reporting back with an update, as promised.

There's a two paragraph epilogue tacked on the bottom now. Will it do?

Hmmm...I think it detracts from your otherwise fine story, for three reasons:

- The explanation is a little too pat. Things work out too well.

- The text consists of too much exposition: telling rather than showing.

- To get this information into the story would require extending the story too far, and it would get too long.

Merely one twinge of conscience (in a phrase, or a sentence) would be allowable, I think.

What happened to Alice might be a whole new story.

I liked it without the twinge of conscience, actually. I enjoyed feeling delighted that she'd got her revenge at the same time as being horrified at the extent of it. It was quite a sharp conclusion.

Normally, I don't discuss my own reactions to the characters in these stories. This is a writing workshop, not a Sunday School.

But this talk of 'revenge' is interesting.

Any character in these pages who perpetrates a deliberate act of revenge instantly loses my sympathy.

The fact that Jude gains her acceptance at work through undercutting someone else makes me dislike Jude...which is what I appreciate about the story. Because it does not direct sympathy toward a character simply because she is handicapped. She is just as unlikeable as everyone else in the story.

This reaction would not change if she felt a 'twinge of conscience'.

I agree with Dmitri that you only need a sentence of doubt. The introduction of Alice is a whole new story.

Thank you Rich, dmitri and mVpoet

Saturday I expect, I'll remove the epilogue and put in a phrase or sentence. I'll let you know when I've done it.

I appreciate your not judging my stories according to whether you like the characters or not dmitiri. If you did, I don't suppose you'd like any of them. Casting my mind back, trying to remember some of them, I can't think that many of them were about especially nice people. It's not something I consciously decided, but possibly it's because I have the idea that nice people don't make very interesting stories - or not stories I would find interesting myself. I just want the story to be interesting and worth reading rather than nice. Also, I've never met any paragons of virtue. But most of my characters wouldn't think of themselves as bad people. They're just ordinary people with all the usual fallibilities and some are more fallible than other. Jude's having a difficult time. Being disabled doesn't make her any "holier than thou". Having a broken body doesn't fix any pre-existing imperfections in the personality. Ordinarily she feels completely powerless. If it suits people to make her difficult and uncomfortable life even more unpleasant, she finds it hard to fight back, so when the opportunity comes along for her to retaliate, she goes overboard. All too human. She has bad thoughts about people who hurt her feelings. There are no thought police to look in her head and tell her that her thoughts are proscribed and she'd better have the correct thoughts in future, so she just carries on as most people would.

At last, I've got around to ordering a book about creative writing. Maybe it'll fill in one or two of the many gaps in my understanding about writing stories