h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Wysiwyg - A19488324
Author: ThelastBastion - U7107065

I couldn't find Writing workshop, is this the right place for unfinished work, this is one thir(approx) of a long short story

This, the Alternative Writing Workshop, is the right place alright. (There's a good summary of what it's for here <./>writing-alternative</.&gt

I wouldn't do this justice if I read it tonight, it looks an interesting start - I'll be back .

Waz

Interesting alright. And not something to be read quickly, it's quite complex picking up the threads, who said what, what's dialogue and what's thought, what's in which world... I want to know what happens. And I want to know how Frank gets on.

It's very difficult commenting on unfinished pieces, because you've no idea if they will finish, if the threads will be woven together and resolved satisfyingly. I hope so, I enjoyed reading it, liked the word play, was intrigued, liked the very conversational come-into-my-head-and-have-a-seat style and, I want to know how Frank gets on.

If you want quibbles - you might lose a reader or two that doesn't persevere with sorting out what's going on at the start. Which may or may not matter.

I'm not sure why the first precept makes a second impossible, but I'm no good on concepts like that anyway.

Looking forward to reading more,
Waz

I look forward to more of this, as well.

Intriguing story. Please keep us updated.

Definitely intriguing, definitely a good read. I liked the way the relatively normal with its realistic conversations interlaced with the hallucinatory world of Frank's mind.
You might consider removing the first paragraph, or putting it somewhere else, as the interview with the doctor might be a stronger opening.
I can't imagine what the resolution, if any will be. Do let us see the rest.