h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: The Secret To Winning Friends Discovered Through Mercenary Bell-Ringing - A2052659
Author: Deidzoeb --==-- gem polisher for the Underguide - U96220

Questions for AWW:

1. For which forum would this entry be more appropriate (if any): the Edited Guide, the Underguide, or should I submit it to the Post because of the seasonal subject matter?
2. I did some quick web searches for "eye contact" and "mugging", but couldn't find anything that substantiated the idea that avoiding eye contact will decrease chances of getting mugged. Anyone heard of actual research on this? The closest I found was a series of self-defense courses that suggested you make frequent eye contact so you can later make a positive identification of your attacker.

Fascinating, Deidzob.

I like the personal touch in it so I'd say not the EG. Although an edited version of it could be done for that. It's of more than just seasonal interest, so I'd say both the Post and the UG.

This is not something that happens in the UK. Unless it happens in the bigger cities, but I do go to those occasionally and I've never seen it. Collectors just shake their collecting tins here. Not so effective these days when they're all made of plastic. I thought for a while you meant those teams of hand bell ringers that play tunes. And I thought the kettle was the kind you boil water in and couldn't understand why it had to be guarded. I thought not even in tea drinking England do they gaurd their kettles like that . It was all clear soon enough!

The eye contact/mugging issue might simply be a case of doing something that attracts attention - makes you the one that stands out and therefore gets picked. Either because it makes the choice easy or some instinct that says the one that doesn't abide by the group rules is vulnerable. I can see why people might instinctively feel it increases the risk if they stand out from the crowd, even if there's no research to back it up.

By the way, in some cultures direct eye contact is seen as aggressive, even when accompanied with a smile.

Thanks for the read.

Thanks for the feedback, Waz. I wondered if it needed a few lines generally describing the donations and purpose of ringing the bell, but I thought they did it in the UK too.

Re: eye contact seen as aggressive in some cultures. Need a disclaimer saying, "Check with your local culture before attempting this anywhere outside of the continental United States."

Personally I wouldn't add explanations. I enjoyed the wondering for as long as it lasted . It's all perfectly clear soon enough.

I never thought of the eye contact/culture thing from the aspect of the advice you're giving. I only thought of it as a further reason for people not making eye contact.

In most places I can think of your advice would apply. Perhaps a cautionery 'but remember it's rude to stare' ! Everyone can make their own mind up where the line between friendly eye contact and staring lies.

The people I was thinking of, where direct eye contact would be taken as aggressive, make fleeting contact with the beginnings of a smile which widens as they look down. then they're liable to glance back, and away again.

Hi again.
Deidzob, I don't know if you were serious about the disclaimer - but assuming so, I don't think it's necessary. I reread this and it's clearly written in a US context and I think that's enough. A disclaimer seems a bit heavy for a personal piece of writing.

If you were editing it into an EG piece it might be different. I like it as it is. It's got a light touch, lots of information, something to think over and is entertaining.

Hope you get some more opinions, it's been incredibly quiet in here these last few days.

Well done,quite good....not bad,i think it should stay in here,as i cant exactly see it getting in peer review,the people in there are wolverines!

They are evil!LOL!

Well yeah,its really good and it should be in the guide...but i also think it ended,up in the air,and didnt go back down again so it would be good aswell.

Hi Waz,

I was kidding about the disclaimer, but now I kind of like the phrasing "check with your local culture..." as if there's an office where these things are posted.

Still, with the mystery of the bell-ringing that you stumbled over, I wonder if a footnote would be appropriate, just a few sentences to explain how it usually works. Not everyone would enjoy the mystery of it like you did.

What about the awkward ending that Dozdim mentioned? I felt that way a little too. I like the concluding lines on the section just above "BONUS", and I felt that calling the last bit a "bonus" might clue people in to the idea that it's meant as a separate tidbit. Maybe a sidebar would be better, show that text in a table to the side of the main story, higher up in the piece? That last section could definitely be moved around. (Thanks for pointing that out, Dozdim!)

I think I read the Bonus heading as you intended it and therefore this didn't strike me on the first read. But looking it over again I think Dozdim, (Hi Dozdim), is right.

I can't quite visualise the sidebar but it sounds as if it would work. Another way might be to put the Bonus section in square brackets and possibly in italics.

"check with your local culture..." might work well as a footnote. I like footnoted asides .

Hi Deidzoeb! This is fascinating and I think you should get it into the Post quickly for the Christmas season. I think the practise of ringing bells like this is unknown on this Eastern side of the Atlantic, so I think you should move the explanation from a footnote to the main text.

"The kettle should not be left unattended" - that had me thinking 'do they give out cups of tea?' I think you need to make it clearer that you're talking about a collection tin...

The kettle is explained in the footnote as well, so moveing the footnote into the main text should solve that problem.

""The kettle should not be left unattended" - that had me thinking 'do they give out cups of tea?'"

That's the fun of it , you know that's not what it means, so you read on to find out while imagining these kettles under constant guard from tea thieves. The cockney rhyming slang for thief being a tea leaf makes it all the better . It's all part of keeping the reader's attention and the entertainment value.

Deidzob, I think it probably depends what you want the reader to focus on and whether you want to play with the minds of the non US readers en route to the relatively serious point you're making.

Sorry, Waz. The fact that you enjoyed the mystery was a nice bonus, but I'd rather have a straight-forward informative entry. I doubt that most readers would be as forgiving as you when they come across something alien to their experience. (I'm reminded of James Thurber's essay in which he sort of brags about his failing eyesight and how he gets to fill in the images that are blurry or incomplete. We see a deer standing by the road and he sees an admiral on a bicycle, something like that. Not everyone would enjoy poor eyesight, and not a lot of people enjoy ambiguous texts.)

I'll try to make it clearer in the main text.

I enjoyed this more than I thought I would. I found it perfectly clear, no confusion at all, so the bits of editing that have been done must be working, at least for me. Here (UK) the sally army stand round and sing carols in groups. Proper wassailing.

I was entertained, anyway. Has anyone told the post about this yet?

It is very factual and I wonder if the first person referances could be delicately edited out to give an entry that retains the light tone but is acceptable for the edited guide.

Ok, Deidzob. I like it anyway .

As a general point - people may not enjoy ambiguous texts, I don't myself. But if it's just a case of wait a little to find out that's fine.

Speckly, did you know what kettles were then? Just curious because I don't think Deidzob has explained them yet and I'd never heard that use of the word.

I haven't said anything to the Post. I think it could be Post or UG, or even and UG. Perhaps it needs to be Deidzob's decision, barring Shazz coming along and selecting it.

Didn't I mention that I liked it? Well I do so ner!

Yes, given the context I understood what kettles were. I assumed that it was less clear in a previous draft, hence the confusion. hmmm. I suppose it is an odd turn of phrase (from a UK view at least) but I found it evocative, rather Christmasey and I think the context explains quite enough (eventually if not right away!). I wouldn't want any more explanation, it could really get fussy that way.

As for telling the Post, what if Deidzob is too modest? This really would be soooo good for their Christmas edition.

I meant 'anyway' as in even-with-explanations-put-in-and-mystery-tours-closed-off'!

It certainly would be good for a Christmas Post. What do you say Deidzob, Post or take your chances with the miners' picks? Or of course Post and leave it in for miners' picks later.

I guess I'll submit it to The Post and figure out later whether to revise it for the Edited Guide or for UG. Thanks!