h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Northern Exposure - A1313263
Author: useless hound - U214221

Am posting a few old post entries here as many peeps miss the post and AWW seems a good review forum currently.
take care
boots (on a mission)

I wasn't previously a reader of the Post. I am now.

You were in fine fettle with this one. Very funny. Have you tried to get it into the edited guide? It is, after all, entirely factually accurate .

I would love to see a corresponding article of scathing wit done on the south. Haveing read 'The School Run' I'd say you're just the hound to write it!

The paceing is wonderful, a good idea to structure it into sections like that. And it's well observed, occasionally ludicrous and sometimes painfully true.

The only section that I'd pick a bone with is 'Oh but the scenery is beautiful'. Less cohesive, and a touch vague. There's some slight of hand whereby you change the subject from the countryside, which you seem to find no fault with, to the cities and people.

However I particularly liked;

'Entering Manchester, via Eccles, heading for the newly revamped Salford Quays is an experience. Pub, launderette, pawnshop, pub, launderette, pawnshop etc'

and

'Nerves shattered you dive back to t'club for another round and more of the ghastly pease pudding.' You're very good with continuity.

I like the dialectical touches, it's not every writer who can catch those so aptly.

Also, you've raised sarcasm to an art form .

G's family have northern roots. I've been to a few of their faimly parties. Everyone gets drunk and everyone sings. It's really quite fun.

It is great fun and they are the most generous and welcomming of folk...just northern!
If these entries have led you to rediscover the post 'tis worth it all. You must check out the back issues: 'Dr Deckchair Fuderlik's regular grunt', 'To whom it may concern' and just about anything from the old phocoid Pinniped.
He ho another day
take care
boots

Ey up Petal, wuz norrall like that ye knaa!
Salford? Thee graa bernaanas down there dint thee?
I'll see yer Salford Quays an raise yer one Newton Aycliffe!
That'll out-grim an episode of Eastenders where the entire cast come down with food poisoning (Dorty Den spent the last ten years up north mekkin pease pudding yer knaa).
Anyway Flower, ahhm away now t' see if wor lass az got me dinner on. Mebbees a few jars down t' club first like.

Oh aye, ah liked the piece like me, ah thought it was canny like.

TSF

Good heaven's! The Friddle's a Northerner! . I must get Brigitta to translate this this afternoon, if she speaks really slowly I might catch the jist . How've you bin Snockerty?
Love your poems you know...the old frog one had me wetting me keks? Cacks? Knickers to us Southern folk!
take care and thanks for reading
boots

Aye, northerner daarn saarf, me like.
Wet cacks? You need more fibre.
I dont remember a frog one.....old blind mad fish dog perhaps?
I've still not caught up on all the w*rk I missed when I came in to find about ten of your entries filling my "subscribed to" list. Cream rises to the top eh?

All t' best Petal

You're right. Such bad manners boots, attributing entries to wrong peeps. Now I remember... the footie fan from Sunderland! ...great stuff.
Take care
boots wandering off most perplexed...who did do the frog one?

One of the fringe benefits of doing directory enquiries - I can understand just about any British accent. Except for drunk Glaswegian. I suspect that even Glaswegians have trouble with that.

I've found that stupid rich southerners are a far greater menace and far ruder than northerners.

- Anglicised Welsh and barely any accent to show for it.

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Yay you!

Cor blimey! and here's me trying to build a Christmas card!
take care
boots

How do you build a Christmas card? Now I have images of lego cards.

check out halfbakedsadie photos need optimising but Ravager pup can sort that out tomorrow...I'm whacked!
take care night night
boots

and not a trace of lego anywhere.