h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: My Adventure with Pokemon Episode 4 - A53421662
Author: interspark - U13716911

alex arrives in cianwood!

Hi interspark.
You need to tidy this up a fair bit before it could be considered for the AWW. Punctuation, capitalisation of names and some places, paragraphs, all need some attention.

Do you need help with that perhaps? If you just grab a book, a novel of some kind or a article in a magazine or newspaper you will see how a story is set out, how the conversations are correctly set down on paper.

Have a look and you'll pick up some clues on how to do this.

I agree with Keith that you need to tidy up your spelling, punctuation and setting out of dialogue.

It's usual to set each character's piece of dialogue out as a separate paragraph. (If you're using GuideML, you can easily put a before each piece of dialogue and a at the end.)

I am also perplexed about the new character you have introduced . When he puts his hand over Alex's mouth he seems hostile. Then he starts talking to Alex in a friendly manner. You need some character development here.

yeah he didnt want alex to scare of the suicune, (thats what the pokemon is called)

sorry for the delay, as for the grammar problems, i don't really want to be editing what i've already written if that's alright but i will put more effort into that for the future.