h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Mother - A5325699
Author: human8471 - U1071908

'Mother' is a piece expressing woman's sacrifice once she becomes mother and never leave her children in any circustances.

Hello human8471,

This is a sad story, a story of your country perhaps?

There are such tragic situations here in Britain. Many wives are deserted; many husbands left to raise the children of a failed marriage. I think it is a worldwide phenomenon, particularly in our deteriorating western culture. There are many reasons: either party to the marriage can be the one at fault, sometimes both! The children suffer the consequences of their parent's selfishness. They can be 'put off' marrying themselves, and only settle for living together outside the bonds of marriage.
This story is very well written for a person whose native tongue is not English. Some of your expressions could be improved. This can best be achieved by reading English publications more, where you can find the time. I wish to encourage you to write, so I'm not going to criticize your work in the detail I would normally employ in reviewing the work of a native English speaker; that would just not be fair to you and your wonderful flair for writing for our delight!

f

It's better put together and told than many whose first language is English could do. It's your compassion and respect for the characters you write of that comes through so impressively strongly, human8471.

I'd be curious to know how you'd tell Yousuf's story.

Hi and Thanks LLLWaz for the compliment.
Just trying to play with words.
This piece is a fact and Yousuf sometime still try to contact Maria, but she has become strong enough not to give entry again to him in her life. She refused to trust him again.

"I'd be curious to know ..............."

U mean to say expressing about the male side or Yousuf as an individual character.

Human

I think Yousuf as an individual character.

It might make a sort of companion piece for Maria's story. Depends on what his story is of course, which only you know.

I meant to ask before, do you write in your first language too, human8471? I'm just being curious .

Hello LLLWaz,
Yousuf has a normal life before marriage, but now he is mostly out of city.
And now about my writing, I have studied in an ordinary English Medium school so my first language is English. Few years back Indian Education system was not so good but has improved recently.
There are many lacking points in the teaching pattern.
At this age I am trying to learn proper English to write well.
Human

Hello Human,

I just popped over to say hello. I've just finished reading your Mother entry. I can feel the artistic expressions you weave into your work. Life is like salt - it most certainly is. It slips through your fingers.....

Nice work.

Flame

Thanks for reading the piece!
I am too happy to read your compliments, as I wanted that someone should point out about this comparison. I wanted to know whether "Life is........ statement is proper or not, as I was in a confusion whether I should express it or not.
For a far away guest I can offer only for the sweetness you have showed.
Thanks
Human