A Conversation for The Alternative Writing Workshop
A4870938 - The Wedding Day
Flame Started conversation Aug 8, 2005
Entry: The Wedding Day - A4870938
Author: Flameisgold - U1652413
Everyone dreams of a perfect wedding day.
Workshopping and reading only. Would appreciate comments or advice etc.
A4870938 - The Wedding Day
U1250369 Posted Aug 8, 2005
Hello, Flame.
I am sorry not to be either constructive or critical, but I have just read The Wedding Day and thoroughly enjoyed it !
All along I thought Amanda was the bride and that Mark was going to jilt her;or dad was going to have a heart attack - his tight collar !!
Thank you very much for sharing this.
C
A4870938 - The Wedding Day
Cyzaki Posted Aug 8, 2005
Very good! I loved it! You used the ambiguous nature of 'she' and 'her' very well, and I never even guessed the ending before I got there
A4870938 - The Wedding Day
frontiersman Posted Aug 9, 2005
This is beautifully written; both in terms of the English, its style of expression in perfect, easily read prose, and in its subject-matter as a lovely, if ultimately sad story.
A few small errors to clear up. We all get something wrong, me more than most!
cousin (delete the final 's')
Would read better as '...seat next to her'.
'suddenly' appears twice in same sentence.
But this is an excellent Entry for AWW in my humble opinion.
Let's have some more writing from you... please!
f.
A4870938 - The Wedding Day
Flame Posted Aug 9, 2005
Well thank you I'll take a look at the errors, thanks for pointing them out, very useful. Another story is coming very soon....so do come back and read more.
Cheers,
Flame
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A4870938 - The Wedding Day
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