A Conversation for The Alternative Writing Workshop
A44744259 - Werewolf
Dmitri Gheorgheni, Post Editor Posted Dec 11, 2008
Ooh, I like.
Well done.
Honest, too - those are real moments.
A44744259 - Werewolf
minorvogonpoet Posted Dec 12, 2008
This is very effective, with its repetition of "This is how temptation works", and the image of the werewolf. 
A couple of crits- I wasn't sure about 'recede' in stanza one. In what sense do lies recede?
I would lay out the three words at the end of stanza 3 in the same way as in the previous stanzas.
A44744259 - Werewolf
Fate's little sister Posted Dec 15, 2008
I thought I'd have a look at some poetry and found yours.
Very nice, I like it!
I like the way you create a sense of struggle and pain and thoughtfulness through the punctuation and the repitition of "This is how temptation works".
The colour imagery really grabs you.
I think "recede" is the lie going right through you and into the heart.
Thanks for sharing!
Emma 
A44744259 - Werewolf
Still_WRD Posted Dec 20, 2008
Thanks, guys. 
As for recede, it was sort of the idea that eventually, you don't have to tell a lie anymore, or worse, it stops being a lie in your own eyes, and so you're not drowning in them anymore, but they've left a stain.
A44744259 - Werewolf
Dmitri Gheorgheni, Post Editor Posted Dec 21, 2008
I just realised I was thinking of 'recede' as in, waters receded (tide, flood), leaving the stain behind.
That may just be me.
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A44744259 - Werewolf
- 1: Still_WRD (Dec 11, 2008)
- 2: Dmitri Gheorgheni, Post Editor (Dec 11, 2008)
- 3: minorvogonpoet (Dec 12, 2008)
- 4: Fate's little sister (Dec 15, 2008)
- 5: LL Waz (Dec 18, 2008)
- 6: Tibley Bobley (Dec 18, 2008)
- 7: Still_WRD (Dec 20, 2008)
- 8: minorvogonpoet (Dec 21, 2008)
- 9: Dmitri Gheorgheni, Post Editor (Dec 21, 2008)
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