h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I like your enthusiasm, but nobody's ever come out of the rapids alive with their lederhosen on fire.

I know you tried out for the gay genie but if you don't mind, we really want a tap-dancing yeti.


Geggs

No wonder he got the flu! Tee shirt and shorts in that weather! What was he thinking of?

A baby hedgehog which found itself stuck in a crisp packet has been released after a three-and-a-half hour rescue involving six people.


Geggs

Fortunately the window opens inwards

Ever fallen in love with someone you shouldn't've fallen in love with?

As we said previously there is no more tea

The dehumidifier tank is full of goldfish.

Did someone tell the locomotive engineer about the minute of silence?

Nothing anyone said this week stuck in our heads. But the door sounded like a fart. Awesome.

None of them sing in tune you know

I refer my honourable friend to the answer I gave earlier.

There are many chapters but none refer to the opera

He stubbed his toe so hard on the bookcase he actually invented some new swear words!

What hope is left for humanity when we've created devices to remove the stalks from strawberries to save us from the minuscule enough of doing so?


Geggs

Rastafarians Unite! You have nothing to lose but....oh, never mind.

I found several but none fitted the pushchair

I sold my friend for £300.


Geggs

We can't eat airplanes!


Geggs

I hate the way the gherkins get all the cuddles.