h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Has the one who has died returned from the grave to haunt you?

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If so, did Sir Cliff Richard join in as well?

Did you hear Sir Cliff Richard and the Young Ones sing 'Living Doll' for Red Children in Nose Need Day?

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How many communist children don't have noses and need new ones?

Do they get to pick their noses?

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Can they use the bogies for the toy trains?

Do the trains have a big hooter?

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Would it be inappropriate if they had two?
Which of a minimum of five different meanings of the word hooter were you implying anyway?

Do you really give a hoot?

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Do I look like someone with an excess in hoots available for giving away?

Hoots mon, is there a moose loose about this house?

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Would you think that that is an improvement over a polar bear in the house?

If the bear has manic depressive tendencies, would it be a bipolar bear?

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Do Bipolar bears have a mandatory fuse in the UK?

If not, can you buy one get one free?

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Wasn't that slogan "One for the price of three, get the second absolutely free of charge"?

Did you get a charger so that you could add some charge to the second one? If not, what was the voltage and current rating required?

If there's a charge, can I put it on my card?

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Do overcharged cards count as an offensive weapon?

Are cheeky seaside postcards offensive weapons?

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