h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Cats On Catnip

Cats on catnip
are both mellow and spry
released from indenture like some silly guy
all full of himself and thinking he looks
pretty spiff in his little Dutch-boy cap

they are so devilish, throwing invisible
writhing mice into the air, doing dervish
spurious lurks, for nothing!

Then they are quiet, though pupils will
tell you, you must note their eyes, ears
coming forward with several yawns
and a delicate stretch of the boots...
Cats on catnip are good company
they run and sprawl and tumble off
into their own little sailor dreams
little tail twitching,
very very far away

Bees





Bees that buzz
Around my nose -
I tell you, I'm not
Fond of those.

Bees that buzz
At my elbows and knees --
No sir, I'm not
Fond of these.

But bees that buzz
Near flowers and stem,
Making honey --
I like them.
Mmmmm!

« Once a puppy »



I can run, But not as fast. I can see, But not as far. I can hear, But not as good as I could when I was a puppy.


I can jump, But not as high. I can bark, But not as loud. I can play, But not as long as I could when I was a puppy.


I run to you, But not as fast. I jump up to you, But not as high. I hear you talk to me, But not as good, as I could when I was a puppy.


The years have past and yes i've grown older, but things never changed. Like the love you've shown me throughout my life.


The love you have shown has made me happy. It makes every day feel, as it did when I was once a puppy.

Bats

Are all bats hairy, scary things
Rushing past on muffled wings,
Out of caves into the night,
On some silent, secret flight?

I think not! I think they're great!
No matter size or shape or weight.
From radio waves to airplane wings
Bats can teach me many things.

Thanks PBS

Not original - I confess - and I have no idea where it came from, neither this one:
An elephant goes like this and that,
He's terribly big,
And he's terribly fat;
He has no fingers,
And has no toes,
But goodness gracious,
What a long nose!

'Laugh' isn't an Animal poem

Polar Bear
William Jay Smith

The polar bear never makes his bed;
He sleeps on a cake of ice instead.
He has no blanket, no quilt, no sheet
Except the rain and snow and sleet.
He drifts about on a white ice floe
While cold winds howl and blizzards blow
And the temperature drops to forty below.
The polar bear never makes his bed;
The blanket he pulls up over his head
Is lined with soft and feathery snow.
If ever he rose and turned on the light,
He would find a world of bathtub white,
And icebergs floating through the night.

Weird but good.

Reflect upon the dinosaur,
A giant that exists no more.
Though brawny when he was alive,
He didn't manage to survive,
Whereas the unimpressive flea
Continues healthy as can be;
So do not whimper that you're small -
Be happy that you're here at all.

(by Margaret Fishback - I think)

Bears, Bears, Bears

Bear, bear, bear, bear
How many kinds of bears are there?
Polar bear and grizzly bear,
Big brown bear with lots of hair.
Spectacled bear, black bear, too,
Sloth bear, sun bear, quite a few!
Bear, bear, bear, bear,
So many bears to compare.

Whenever I walk in a London street
I’m ever so careful to watch my feet;
And I keep in the squares,
And the big brown bears
Who wait at the corners all ready to eat
The sillies who tread on the lines of the street,
Go back to their lairs;
And I say to them, "Bears,
Just look how I’m walking in all of the squares!"
And the little bears growl at each other,
"He’s mine,
As soon as he’s silly and steps in line."
And some of the bigger bears try to pretend
That they came round the corner to look for a friend;
And they pretend that nobody cares
Whether you walk on the lines or the squares.
But only the sillies believe their talk;
It’s ever so portant how they walk,
And it’s ever so jolly to call out, "Bears,
Just watch me walking on all the squares!"

A.A.M.

I'm Only A Cat


I'm only a cat,
and I stay in my place...
Up there on your chair,
on your bed or your face!

I'm only a cat,
and I don't finick much...
I'm happy with cream
and anchovies and such!

I'm only a cat,
and we'll get along fine...
As long as you know
I'm not yours... you're all mine!

Author Unknown

'Arold

'Arold were an aardvark
Or at least 'e thought 'e were
But 'e never were quite certain
Because of all the fur.

'E'd seen the other aardvarks
Dressed in their birthday suits
And so 'e knew that all of 'em
They were as bald as bandycoots.

It were down by the river
That 'e'd 'ad the revelation
When 'e saw the others all undressed
An' in the water bathin'.

An' then, of course, there were the ears
For 'is were really small.
In fact, on lookin' at the others
Seemed 'e 'ad no ears at all.

Then again there were their noses
All nice an' long an' stout
While 'is were really quite petite
Barely more than just a snout.

An' when it came to eatin' ants
There were differences of note.
'E never liked the taste of 'em
An' they tickled in 'is throat.

An' while the others 'ad big tails,
Why, 'is were just a stub,
Not much bigger than a bumble bee
Or a large dung beetle grub.

Then one day near the forest
'Arold chanced to see
A creature wot looked just like 'im
An' 'Arold jumped with glee.

So 'e walked up to the creature
An' 'e asked it what it were.
It replied, "Why, I'm a g'rilla.
Can't you tell by all the fur?"

And with this information
'Arold finally knew
That 'e really weren't an aardvark
But a g'rilla through an' through.

By Steve Ogier

Thanx

Animals

animals are noisy and need to be fed
sometimes they need to be tucked into bed
sometimes their bad and need to be hit on the butt
and need to be taken out to do you know what
cats are annoying they sleep on your bed
and when you’re sound asleep they pounce on your head
dogs are loyal and love you too
and known how to comfort you when you’re feeling blue
animals are fun to have around
thats why I have two cats and a hound.

Jim Fleitz

A Spider

A spider spins
A web all day.
She has no time
To come and play.

She sits and waits
On a thread nearby
Until she traps
A delicious fly.

The bat is batty as can be.
It sleeps all day in cave or tree,
And when the sun sets in the sky,
It rises from its rest to fly.
All night this mobile mammal mugs
A myriad of flying bugs.
And after its night out on the town,
The batty bat sleeps upside down.

by Douglas Florian

very batty

Coyote coyote lying on the ground
Your no dog your no hound
Your a canid from the sound
Why are you lying on that mound

by me 31/08/05