h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: IT began as just an ordinary day - A14125169
Author: ianhimself - U5477852

a fiction ... though i saw his tears


comments appreciated

An enchanting read

You cover a lot of subjects, Ian

Ah. Fine, fine work.

I seem to be following Matt around this evening.


It's a good format - picking up different, independent, threads of lives and weaving them together. Two is an unusually small number to do it with. If it's linked to reality, that would explain it.

Didn't see the outcome until reading '11.18am there was a special news bulletin'. 18 minutes was such a short time, it had to be something like that.

Not maybe as quite polished as some of your others I've read, neat story though.

One quibble - Tom picking through the pieces that evening - he'd never be allowed, would he? Or would he? Perhaps it's my wrongly assumed UK-centric background.

Waz

yeah .... the Tom thing .... I know ... in the photo I saw he was holding his Dad's hand.... it was still pretty stark though....

I'm not sure what I think of this one.... a bit too neat and tidy maybe

It's good, though like Waz said, it's not your best.

If you want crit, I think you might be a little prone to over-using this kind of 'flat' treatment. By that I mean telling the story in unemotional and rather simple terms, then letting the enormity of the denouement create the impact for you.

That's maybe a little lazy as a writer. I prefer the ones where you move the story along youself.

good comment Pin...... basically I agree with that - some of the stuff is quite early work when i basically didn't have a clue ..... the problem with my more recent stuff is a) i'm trying to write a novel which doesnt really seem to flow on here and b) i use too many f words and can;t be bothered doing the star replacement therapy to get it through the censor ..... like you day ... i'm lazy as fu .... eeeek!!!!