h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It's a pain that Smileys don't copy
Well, most people think they are soppy
But 'most people' ain't here

It's a pain that Smileys don't copy
Well, most people think they are soppy
But 'most people' ain't here
You're quite right, Penny dere,

It's a pain that Smileys don't copy
Well, most people think they are soppy
But 'most people' ain't here
You're quite right, Penny dere, (?)
They're all out in the old jalopy.


Why don't we go out for a spin?

Why don't we go out for a spin?
I'd love to, but you two aren't here

Ahem That should have read

Why don't we go out for a spin?
I'd love to, but you two aren't IN

[just as well, really]

Why don't we go out for a spin?
I'd love to, but you two aren't IN
So turn yourself round

Why don't we go out for a spin?
I'd love to, but you two aren't IN
So turn yourself round
It's fun, so I've found

Why don't we go out for a spin?
I'd love to, but you two aren't IN
So turn yourself round
It's fun, so I've found,
Especially after a bottle of gin.


The bookies are doing a roaring trade

The bookies are doing a roaring trade
Regarding who will next get laid

The bookies are doing a roaring trade
Regarding who will next get laid
Well, my bet is on

The bookies are doing a roaring trade
Regarding who will next get laid
Well, my bet is on
That unlikely Don Juan

The bookies are doing a roaring trade
Regarding who will next get laid
Well, my bet is on
That unlikely Don Juan
Who did the sound for Marmalade.


As we gaze upon the promised land

As we gaze upon the promised land
That land of plenty, called The Strand

As we gaze upon the promised land
That land of plenty, called The Strand
It's hard to stifle the urge

As we gaze upon the promised land
That land of plenty, called The Strand
It's hard to stifle the urge
To binge and to splurge

As we gaze upon the promised land
That land of plenty, called The Strand
It's hard to stifle the urge
To binge and to splurge
So let's all go - my, ain't life grand?



Sometimes it is hard to be rational

Sometimes it is hard to be rational
When picking a horse for the National

Sometimes it is hard to be rational
When picking a horse for the National
Perhaps it is best


*******
or

Sometimes it is hard to be rational
When picking a horse for the National
I favour the method

[if you're up for a challenge, W4AT]

Sometimes it is hard to be rational
When picking a horse for the National
Perhaps it is best
The form to digest

*******

Sometimes it is hard to be rational
When picking a horse for the National
I favour the method
(Tho' its hist'ry's chequered)

Bravo, sir

Sometimes it is hard to be rational
When picking a horse for the National
Perhaps it is best
The form to digest
Tho' the chances of winning are fractional

*******

Sometimes it is hard to be rational
When picking a horse for the National
I favour the method
(Tho' its hist'ry's chequered)
Of consulting t'insides of a mackerel


Does anyone else get the feeling