h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Last night I was given the assignment that may be impossible for me. It sounds simple: write a 500 word essay using only one-syllable words. The topic can be over anything, as long as it's tasteful. Some of the DON'Ts include using hyphinated words and writing in a simplistic, childish, way.

It really does sound simple, though, doesn't it? Now go out there and try to do it. I'm having a really rough time coming up with a subject that I can write freely and enough to actually complete the assignment. Most of the things I truely care about, such as computers, are all two syllables or more. Not good.

I think the process of eliminating the longer words and leaving only the bare bones won't be that hard. As usual, picking a topic is always the hardest thing for me.

Anyway.. off to brainstorm.

Hello there, did you manage to do it?

The idea has grabbed my imagination and I'm off to try it...

I sure did. It wasn't easy though.

If you'd like, I will upload it to the internet and let you read it.

Ah, I wish could read it! I got about three paragraphs into mine and realised it was absolutely awful. I'll try again some day...

Unfortunately, I'm here on h2g2 through cable T.V, so I'm restricted to BBC sites only - I doubt I'll get to see your essay!

It's not perhaps the best, but it did meet the requirements. Let's see if I can post the entire thing on here:


Crime: Can We Stop It?

We hear the loud screech of tires as cop cars race down the street after a known crook in a car chase. Boom! A crash takes place as the car spins off of the road and hits the guard rails. One more rogue of the street life has been caught, and will now go to court. This may sound like a scene from the show Cops, but the truth is that scenes like this are played out each day. Crime is on the rise with no end in sight. It won't be a walk in the park, but I feel there are three main things that can be done to help stop or at least slow down the rate of crime.

The first place to start, in this long task to stop crime, should be at home. This is where the young must learn what is right and wrong. But, in this day and age, the good old home life is not the same as it was in the past. This is why schools must step in and help fill the void with a class. The first half of the class should teach what is right and wrong, what the laws are, and why we have them. The last half of the class should teach what will take place for those who break the law.

While a class will help to slow the rate of crime, it will not halt it in the long run if we fail to change how our courts deal with the laws. I feel the courts are too soft. Some things that need to be looked at are: when and why bail is used, the length of jail time served, and how the jails are run. For most crimes, there should be a small chance of bail, while the worst crimes should have no chance at all. Life in jail should not be one of ease. Once caught and put in jail, one should work hard at least six days a week. This will help to make jail so harsh that, once out, one would want to stay well clear of it for the rest of his or her life.

The last thing we could do to help slow down crime takes place as the time nears for one to be freed from jail. There should be a course he or she would have to pass to get out. The course should do two things. First, it should help make a list of the things wrong, or now right with one’s mind to see if he or she would be able to go back to a life out of jail. If the test shows he or she is in the right frame of mind, then the course should teach him or her some job skills. When set free, it is hard to find work, which is why he or she will go back to a life of crime. With those taught skills there is a good chance that he or she will be fine in a life free of crime, and would stay well clear of the old ways.

Crime: can we stop it? It is my dream that one day we will live in a world that does not know of crime, but it will take more than just dreams. We can make that dream of mine come to pass if we take a long, hard look at why we have crime and make the laws we have work as they should.

Thanks for taking the time to post your essay. Despite my title, I don't like to be a pest!

You did very well, if I hadn't had prior knowledge, it wouldn't have occurred to me that the piece was composed entirely of one syllable words...hmmm, maybe that was the point.

I think my penchant for adjectives may have been my undoing on that one, I tend to complicate my communication with all sorts of devices too...another hmmm, maybe that was the point.

Thanks again.

No problem. I was surprised that someone took an interest in this at all. :P

I'm interested in everything...it's a prerequisite to interest in Psychology...if that makes any sense!

again!

I must say, I'm quite surprised you haven't written a Guide Entry yet!

Mind you, I haven't either.

lol I honestly don't know what to write about. Everything I'm really skilled in has been written to death.

I'm having the same problem! My areas of knowledge are few in number, but they've either already been covered or would need a 10,000 worder to explain them accurately.

I'm serving in a virtual bar at A913150, which takes up a lot of my online time too. Pop over for a visit if you like...it's daft but it's fun.