h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Would it be that difficult?

In fact even simply renaming it would help. Can't we just call it something else? Something less threatening and dreadful than "Monday"?

Like... I don't know, like "Day of the Hippopotamus" or something. Just something else. Something friendly. Can't we?

Erm, I hardly like to raise this, but are we getting rid of your Monday or mine. I mean, 'cos I'm on the downhill side of mine and, you know, honestly it's a bit late to start over.

If we do change it, though, how about just something non-threatening like, uh, Kevin.

"Do you want to go to the movies on Kevin?"
"No, I went last Kevin. This Kevin I'm going bowling..."

See. Completely benign. Who could ever be afraid of that?

Why should you not be afraid of "Kevin", bubster? It's just as arbitrary a name as "Darth" or "Maxwell", and it doesn't change the nature of the day - which is to come after Sunday, when what you really need it to do is precede Friday.

I suspect that you can't really have no Monday, KM, if you want also to get as much as people tend to do out of Friday. Balance is all, yin and yang compromise - although Monday is typically much more Yang than Yin for me... I think I really need to start preparing for Mondays the Monday before, but there's so much else to do!

I don't care if there's a monday. It's obligatory really. It's just the sound, the reaction that has become associated with the sound, the dread fear...

But I'm not afraid of Kevin.

I think the best way to abolish that monday feeling is to make Monday's part of the weekend. Whoever decided there should be a 5:2 split to the week in favour of working should be shot!

That too. Though reducing the world's total productivity by one-seventh is probably not the wisest move at this point, really—maybe we could do it gradually. Each year, we could make Monday begin one hour later. That way it'll be about a decade for the actual change to take effect... that wouldn't be too much of an impact, one would think.

It could work, couldn't it?

But no-one's productive on a Monday so making it part of the weekend wouldn't have a negative effect on productivity - in fact, it would have a positive effect because all those people with weekend jobs would be working half as long again as they are now which would increase the world's total productivity by *pauses to assay the necessary calculations* a lot.

I think Monday should definately be abolished. The same way slavery was abolished. It would benefit the world in general.

I'm not afraid of Kevin, but I think Heith would be better. More friendly and down-to-earth.

Now if Heith was turned in weekend, that could work too. The world would be a more productive place.

I've never known a Heith, so a day called Heith sounds like a religious holiday to me...

No, no, not religious at all.

Holiday-ey, though. That's the whole idea, isn't it?