h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ev, please can you invent a table which I'm at the top of? I'm very competitive and am likely to cry if I don't ever win anything...can't I have a prize for most likely to know the trashy pop but who keepsw loosing? Or most likely to prod Holly valance with a stick or something?

But you're doing so well in the Average Correct Picks Per Week table - second only to fords_prefect, who got 4 out of 6 first time out and hasn't played since.

What about a "most outrageous bribes" table?

Y'know I swear I just posted here so if 2 versions of reply appear it's not my fault! Anyway I don't think outrageous bribes would work as Peregrin might get jealous but I reckon I could win the nmost number of attempts at bribing an official?

How outrageous were you planning to make the bribes?

Why should I bother to count attempts to bribe me? Only officialy accepted bribes will be counted. Cash, cheques and most major household electrical items accepted.

Well it all depended what I needed to do to get to the top of the table?

Anyway...
*looks around peregrins bedroom*
Ummm... digital cameras?

Is it better than mine?

Actually, knowing Peregrin, it probably is.

Ok..ummm microwave? We have a spare one of those? ooh or a dvd player?

OOoooOOOOOOh or all three!!!

Things are looking up.

*wonders whether to be offended by that*
Umm oh actually not the camera as I need that for my course (is student again!) ...ummm normal camera?

What kind of normal camera? APS? 35mm? Polaroid?

Ummm it's black? Ooh and it has a gorgeous shiny strap!

Sounds pretty normal to me. Dr?

Hmmm, well, I'm tempted.

I see there is now a bribe table. I have contacts who work in the lab that cloned Molly the Sheep. So how about I get them once they have perfected human cloning to clone you the woman of your choice dead or alive as a willing, loving companion.

And DD takes the lead in the Bribes table.

Yeah goes well with my other high placings

Of course, it rather depends on the development of human cloning, so there's still scope for other players to top that bid. *looks hopeful*

That is true. But I knew you'd appreciate the effort.

Look I'm going to sulk if you don't let me win something at least!!!

How about I flirt outrageously with someone in charge of human cloning, get you a perfect cloned woman who also has a camera and a dvd player and owns a second hand record shop? Pleeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaassssssssseeeeeeeeeeee!!! If you don't pick me then I'll just flirt outrageously with you until you get so embarrassed by my harrasment that you let me win?

(btw as I didn't check the top 40 results can I be included in yesterdays using last weeks numbers as I forgot to redo them )