h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It’s sin that sells, the Vicar said,
And hellfire and damnation.
Keeps the pews all filled up,
With a fearful congregation.

No, its guilt that sells, the Rabbi said,
And mother’s kosher nosh.
Give them one day off a week,
When they can dress up posh.

Jihad sells, the Imam said,
Don’t listen to that Rabbi.
It’s a pity about the alcohol,
So I’ll just have half a pint.

Harmony sells, the bald monk said,
And it’s the key to happiness.
The punters love the tantric sex,
Whilst wearing an orange dress.

Sex does sell, the priestess said,
If you just have the knack.
And no matter what the rede requires,
We all look good in black.

Bollywood sells, the Yogi said,
And the Kama Sutra too.
If you’d like another god,
We’re not short a few.

Freedom sells, said the medicine man,
And lots of drums and dancing.
So come smoke the pipe of peace,
And then we’ll all be trancing.

Magic sells, the wizard said,
It gives you a sense of power.
Oh I wish I lived in Crowley’s days,
With young virgins to deflower.

Leather sells, the heathen said,
And all the Viking gear.
The Chainmail undies chafe a bit,
But hey there’s lot’s of beer.

Stone circles sell, the druid said,
They’re mysterious and chunky.
But we tend to take too many herbs,
Which is why we’re all so funky.

You’ve nothing I’d buy, the atheist said,
Not clothes, nor sex nor grub.
But we all blessed him just the same,
And went off down the pub.

Blessings,
Matholwch /|\.

Thanks, Math.

Pattern-chaser

"Who cares, wins"

Great!

I concur.

What I find fascinating are
the sects
with the closed membership.
The Druze, the Zoroastrians
and some of the Jain.

Proselytizing is
a fascinating activity,
particularly when
it involved initiation,
or the fun idea
that the Day of Judgement
will not come until
the entiah woild is subjugated
under a particular
guiding influence.

Of course, the idea that
the entiah woild might
have been under the
influence of a single
guide before
all the competing franchises
sprang up
is an alien
concept to
true believers.