h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Darakats' Christmas Rant
Now don't get me wrong. Christmas as a celebration is sometimes good. Yes the getting together of the family (even if you do hate the lot) and the celebration of the feast of yule (or indeed litha for us southern hemisphere people) are great traditions. However commercial interests have taken many of the traditions that some of us used to take to hart. They package them and make us into copies of copies of copies. I hate that. Much as I like seeing my uncle, and other assorted relatives, and getting gifts (and giving them even if I can't afford to), and so on. However this is all abstract, what is Christmas all about anyway? Today I shall attempt to find out.

Giving/getting gifts:
Gift giving is a euphoric feeling. Generally if you ask and give a gift you can get a buzz. Even if you are giving someone you don't like something. This is the reason to give a gift. So you can get a buzz. If you don't know what to get them, make them something or if you can't even do that, give them a big hug, no matter how bad they smell (if they smell bad the body shop is great). However there is no real reason this has to happen ONCE A YEAR! Give gifts and hugs as often as possible, rather than once a year. Just getting gifts will never make you feel right, I didn't and now I am broke trying to make it up to all those I have received gifts from all these years. It pays to give big, and get little I think. Makes you feel better. Even though you don't have so much stuff.

The Turkey:
As I dig into my all organic, all home prepared (well the Turkey was grown on a certified organic farm, but its pretty hard to keep turkey in your yard with a dog, and you know not actually knowing how to keep a turkey or indeed wanting to slaughter it) Turkey on Christmas lunch (lunch is more the tradition for us) I will be thinking of all of those who are unlucky enough to have not got any. Of those in war zones, or famine stricken countries, of those to poor and helpless, of those who can't eat turkey! But probably not those who wish not to. The turkey is such a reminding piece that if remembered in this way it should be kept. If however it is only a resemblance of you feasting your guts out on a poor defenseless bird killed before its prime as it "tastes" better then you have no shame in my mind. With herbs.

The Music:
Now I like a good tune. However these days the countless versions of "Jingle bells" and "Rudolf the Red Nose Reindeer" drive me truly batty! AH! Is it to much to ask that a man may be able to go about his yule time activities with some flanders and swan perhaps? or even (shock horror) the BEACH BOYS Monster Mash would be better than "Jingle Bells Rock" over and over and over (though not for very long). Store owners, if you play a selection of say 100 songs that are not Christmas over Christmas for me I will buy every item in your store to show my undying support!

The Date:
The date of Christmas is one of these things that as an agnostic (still but this may change in a year or so) like me finds weird. Considering its the date that apparently "christ" was born. Now I don't dispute this event, and I am sure Jesus was probably a good guy, but his birth is not something I really want to celebrate. Because as I say, necrothespianism is not my cup of tea. I don't like Christmas, but the date in my majority Christian country is a public holiday. Despite this I still think that the celebration of what I feel the better date, the summer solstice as best I can. Of course it would not be yule, since thats in winter. Also known as the Summer Solstice is also known as: Alban Heflin, Alben Heruin, All-couples day, Feast of Epona, Feast of St. John the Baptist, Feill-Sheathain, Gathering Day, Johannistag, Litha, Midsummer, Sonnwend, Thing-Tide, Vestalia, etc [1].

The Relatives:
This is the only time I get to see my really cool uncle and his really cool dog. Also I LIKE all my relatives. The majority may be conservatives but I can quickly avoid discussions that they can sometimes pick up "So Evan they say you play D&D" "Yes" "Oh." I think they just lack the effort really its no fun at all. I actually LIKE arguments at x-mas, but we never have them since, well we just don't. I have no idea why. We have a second cousin coming this year, maybe shes a right wing nut, or she could be more left wing than me (and according to policalcompass.org thats pretty hard) who knows! YAY! I am exited.

The Tree:
The tree is a tradition that stems from Germany (yes it does) and is immortalized in the song "Oh Christmas tree" or if your looking for the original "o Tannenbaum" germany is the best place to go. Of course this is a tradition that has even been placed in my great abode, were it is a 90cm tall (a conifer that only ever grows to a meter high) living breathing Christmas tree. Our decorations consist of 1 long piece or gold tinsel and one small gold decretive angel. Now call it minimalist if you like, but the tree is really a consumerist tradition. Every year hundreds of poor innocent conifers have been chopped down in the "need" for a tree. You don't need a tree, really you don't. I only put up with ours as its alive.

The Food:
I like the food, but there is sometimes a lot of waste involved. Waste is a major problem and at current quite a number of people like myself are trying to do the right thing, but there just isn't enough to go round. When you cut into your turkey, or deer, or octopus this xmass remember how many people there are who are not eating at all, and save a thought for them. Please give generously to a charity (any will do), and you will probably give someone else a decent Christmas and feel better.

So what is it all about?:
Well its just a celebration. A tradition. If you have to work or don't celebrate or indeed have better things to do, I would feel pity for you, if you actually want me to. However I would not be surprised at how many of you don't. And for those that do...

HAVE A MERRY GOOD OR INDIFFERENT WHATEVER IT IS YOU CELEBRATE OR DON'T!
Enjoy the whatever.

[1]. Religious Tolerance.org. (2004). Summer Solstice Celibrateions http://www.religioustolerance.org/summer_solstice.htm

I'm an obsessive gift giver. I give presents all year round because I love to give presents. Just one of those things. I don't get a high off of it, certainly, but I do enjoy it.

I hate Christmas music. KENNY G SHOULD BURN IN HELL. *coughs* Pardon me, I'm a lady...

We do food drives every year, but we also make a TON of food. Granted it gets, eaten, but it's hellish to make.

We make enough, it generally lasts a week

Ours doesn't last that long, I don't think.

Depends on what else we decide to make with the leftovers

Most of our leftovers are casseroles and the like. Things like ham we make into sandwiches until it's gone.

We sort of add ours to things and eat cold lunches with them...

Such creativity. I don't know what you could add casseroles to?

No. But remember x-mass is a cold lunch for us anyway, it being summer.

That is nice. We usually have Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve for lunch and then graze on Christmas day. I love the winter. Yip!

We have a lunch that lasts until after dinner