h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I have a very high set of standards, excellent news means something on a logarithmic scale (which in fact mean there is effectively no limit). Being one very high state of excitement, somewhere around orgasmic. However excellent is about an 8. Let me show you:

0 - No excitement or joy, or possibly made me feel worse
1 - Bad, Shite or Hopeless, item was no good, but 10 times better than nothing at all
2 - Slightly Better, 10 times better than bad, this is like say receiving news that it was syphilis, not cancer
3 - No good, 10 time better than slightly better, this is like say hearing that there was something there after all
4 - Ok. This being 10 times better than not good and 1000 times better than nothing at all its pretty good. This is approaching the great word "Alight" but not quite. If something is Ok it means that I have enjoyed it, but its not something to write home about.
5 - Alright or Average. My average state. Almost everything gets here and not much further, don't be alarmed if I say something is alright. Its 10 times better than Ok and thats pretty damm good in most peoples books.
6 - Good or Great. This means I really enjoyed it. Its the state I enter when I first enjoy something. Coffe made in the way I like it will put me in this state, so if you want me to enjoy myself get the kettle on and make me espresso, everything after that is like "Wow dude you can see the music".
7 - Brilliant or Sufficient. This being 10 times better than good. I have to say that this is somewhere around the state I reach when I get news from old friends that there still alive!
8 - Ecstatic or Proper. I have to say that this is like what you feel when you have a first kiss with that special someone. 10 times better than Brilliant this takes a lot to achieve. The ALIA new grads meeting for me made me Ecstatic.
9 - Excellent or Orgasmic. This is a RELLY BIG thing. This means that we probably just had sex, or something close to it. If I say something was excellent it means that I not even just enjoyed it, I will probably remember it for as long as I live. I am planning on that being a very long time.
10 - Kumlamulafastone or Indescribably Great - This is the high that one may experience say the first time you realize your in love with someone. Or when you receive a blank signed check from a rich guy. This is like a perfect moment of indescribable joy. It may not last long, but having me reach this high will mean that whatever let me achieve it is to be worshiped as a god. Not many have done so, but those tender few who have can read this explanation and see that they have helped me reach 1 * 10 ^ 10 * better than nothing. Which I have to say is pretty dam good.

It must be said however that this is a LOGARITHMIC scale like the scale the measure earthquakes on. This means there is in fact no theoretical limit. At all. This means that the is in fact possible states beyond 10. But they are POSSIBLY things that can only be reached with probably the help of mind affecting drugs (which I have incidentally never had).

Now why these high standards? Why the complicated and possibly confusing logarithmic scale? Well I am glad you asked those rather complicated questions and its all to do with my Youth. Now because I know dam well that boring you with a story about my youth is exactly not what most of you need right now so I am not going to tell you exactly how this scale came about. However I can say that I always felt that other people set there standards to low and my fascination with the fact that the logarithmic scale is a funky curve (yeah it is) and also that I knew that there could be no theoretical limit to how good you feel. This was because I also knew there was no limit to how BAD you feel and logically speaking the reverse has to in fact also be true. So thats how I scale things. This by the way is my first "real life blog type entry" in a while.

I'm sure there is a limit to how bad you can feel. Probably not one that's achieved because of other less theoretical liminting factors, but surely there's only so much bad shit chemical that can be in your body at one point?

The base is somewhat arbitrary. Why not use a nice number like e? Then you can talk about 'ln's all day long. ln is the Urdu word for something that makes me laugh in maths.

I love e. I love it almost as much as pi.

Yes well there may be a limit to how much chemical stuff you can have in your brain, but I don't think that really has anything to how bad you can feel. Even if there is a limit I rather like to think that there really isn't one. Don't ask me why. I am a great fan of science and I think it can explain a lot, but not everything. Who would I of all people would be saying that? Not me.

It's kind of sad that I saw the first few ratings with the whole 10 times better thing and was thinking to myself "log scale!"

Time to study. (GAAAA FINALS!) If I haven't posted by late on Monday hunt me down and put me out of my misery.

Late on monday? Got it. calling assassins are us right now.

Finals...one more...

I have had my results for three days, my exams were over some time ago.

Evil.

I know

I liiiiive! You can call off those dang assassins now.

Um ok.

"Yes hi. No. You already put the Dioxin in the food. What do you mean? You idiots! Well I am not paying, try the KBG"

Yeah its ok, they pulled the wrong target.

Finals over? Mine are!

Is it a bad time to mention that mine have been over for a good 3 weeks?

Nah. Tomorrow night, I'll know.

Know what? Like? Huh?

My grades. Actually, I have them this morning. *cursesextremelyloudly*

yay!

Not really.

Yes, you have scores, that is to be celebrated, there was a chance you never got then. However there was a chance that I am able to walk though a wall.