h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

There whould be no rant this time but I took a look at my rant page http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/alabaster/A1903565 and sore that I have a Death rant willing and waiting somewhere on my HD...

Thats right people Death.

This rant will talk about the following things:
How do we know we will die?
What happens when we die?
What happens if where immortal?

1. HOW DO WE KNOW WE DIE?

As beings of some intelligent conscious and apparently existing beings (these are all very hazy prepositions but lets just say for now that we are) we have all heard of Death. Some of us know people who have now disappeared to wherever we go, be it nothing but decomposition to some form of reincarnation to undead existence to some higher plane of existence, whatever your belief. We no that death will someday happen to us. It will stop us performing our most vital functions ie living, breathing, performing coherent conversations, having "it", and of course writing rants instead of studying. Death is finite. After it there might or might not be something else, whatever there is or isn't is the subject of theological and philosophical debate and not a part of this paragraph. We know that death will stop us performing actions in our own current physical manifestation. Thus we know we will die... We think.

2. WHAT THE SMEG HAPPENS WHEN WE DIE?

What happens when we die is a interesting subject. Some people believe that we are greeted by Death him/her self, or by some sort of anthropomorphic persona or metaphorical persona, something like that anyway. The persona takes us wherever, and thats the end of it. If your an atheist there is no persona but you do die in the firm held belief that little maggots, weevils and grubs will ensure your body is recycled and thus contribute to the grate mass that is... the grate mass. Or thats what I would believe if I was a atheist. But I am not. I am agnostic, as you would know if you had taken the 5 minutes it takes to really slowly digest my intro my home page. As an Agnostic I don't believe there is anyway of knowing what really happens, however as you can already tell, by my many rants of the philosophical and religious matter it doesn't stop me from making some sort of theory of what might happen. After all speculation allows me to know what I don't know (if you understand this then you need to get your mensa application in, I would send mine off but I despise the organization for some reasons I will outlay in a later and much more lengthy critical rant). Anyway what could happen is much more nasty than this. It could quite easily be whatever you believe in which happen. This leaves some problem with the agnostic. He or she doesn't know (or generally care) what should or should not happen. Whatever happens happens. Thus caution left to the wind they just do whatever it is they think might happen. From all the theories I have thought up I will have a interesting eternity.

Anyway we may be buried, we may have immortal souls, we may or may not be drinking forever in the halls of Asgard, we may personally be introduced to the Devil himself (or herself, or itself, or whatever it is or isn't). We may or may not be bound up together by the great white handkerchief when the time comes that the Great Green Arcleseza finds he sneezed.

3. WE ARE IMMORTALS :

What happens if we are immortal and reality is only reality while we exist? This is a weird theory as you have to assume your continuousness created the entire thing. How and why, and where are questions you should start asking yourself. Why at this apparent point in time? What is time? Why in this body, in this house, at this keyboard in this year and so on. What can you do/not do? One wonders if this theory really can happen, but its a belief and as a agnostic all beliefs have in some way an equal standing in the soup of beliefs.

This is now making my head hurt, but I must continue as making my head hurt is not a reason to stop thinking about things. I have learnt this the long and hard way form many a religious person trying to use it as a reason to join there religion, they always say "It hurts your brain to think about these thing, let us do that for you" It really really shits me that this ploy actually gets people. Anyway off this tangent.

Immortal DOES NOT MEAN LIVES FOREVER. Now as strange that this may seem, IMMORTAL the definition of is "A being of unknown construct that lives from the bingeing of all to the end of all" of course what is your definition of "being" let alone "all?" also "lives" is a nasty one to try and actually put a finger on philosophically speaking. You see as a Immortal, you only live from when you are born to when you die, and nothing, thats NOTHING, exists before or after this. Thus you have lived for-ever, thus immortal. Although this may seem a annoying thing to try and grasp, the simple fact of the mater is that being Immortal, is as far as we know boring. You will still die when the universe ends, so therefore what was the point of being "immortal"? I have used this argument against a devout Christian, he said
"But god is everything, he is forever immortal, and never-ending"
"Ah but you agree that the universe may end?"
"Well eventually Armageddon shall save us all"
"And after that?"
"Well not much really"
"So you could in fact say that the universe has ended?"
"Well yes."
"Thus god must have died, and is therefore a no continuous being?"
"Could be"
"So why should I believe in a being who cannot outlive the end of the universe, I think this being 'god' is not powerful enough for my belief.?"
Unfortunately this argument went on for another two hours and ended in a stalemate where by at that point we where arguing about the power of bishops and the 'Christian' had to leave. Oh well. Anyway we may or may not be immortal, and thats the point, there is actually no way that you cannot prove that you are not, or are, so yet again, I take the philosophical middle ground and say "I don't know and/or care".

So....
Enjoy the Salmon Mouse.

Darakat spreading evil, khaos, destruction and small brown things on monitors that no-one knows how they got there, since 1983.

i might not believe a single bit of it, but im happy you have overcome your block. this is much better formed than most of your others.

Ishall take this into account.

And notice how few typos you get when you actually TRY to write something sensible. I'm not sure I agree with you, especially the thing about immortal not meaning you don't die. As it lies in the word, immortal, means not capable of dying, i.e. you don't even die if/when the universe comes to an end. Still, it's fun to think about, isn't it.

very amusing. not as in funny amusing, but interesting amusing.

Well I never said that people have to agree with me, It is a rant after all, I am suprised someone hasn't posted on them saying they have exactly the opposite view.

The point with the Imortal Soul thing is mostly a thought, not a very useful one at that, Its just a "be careful what you wish for it might not be worth it"

who knows? just pitter along and be happy.

Arent Fundies "Fun" to argue with.

So deluded, everyone knows the Universe is in the shape of a smilie face, and ruled by a being known as "Bert" who has a quest to vanquish the evil "ernie" and its "ernie-verse".

But that will all be pointless when I get enough uranium for my nuclear reactior so it can power my Acme Quantum Gravatonic Disrupror, and thus destroy the Universe and the Ernie-verse.

Seriously, Good rant. Your wrong, as always, but good.

Wrong is such a relative term. I prefer to think of myself as at least 50% right, that way I pass.

Who the smeg cares. There's no saying what's right. Do you really want to know? Do you NEED to know? I don't, I'm content with thinking about the possibilities. The whole argument is pointless, but still amusing.

agent c! ACH!!!!!! It's YOU ARE not YOUR. ACH!!!! Sorry, that's the only grammar I'm good at and it drives me mad.

The possibilities are endless.

*sigh*

No, i think its your, Darakat doesnt have attribute wrong ("Darakat you are wrong" is not true), Darakat owns wrong, possession isnt a "you are".

Shud up Agent_c.

agent c is arguing for the sake of arguing. where did he come from?

Well when a mother and a farther love each other very much...

they go to the cabbage patch and pick out a cabbage that looks promising?

Er... Yes. Thats exactly what they do. Then they have cabbage stew for dinner and after a drink or two of speacail wine, then they go to bed...

Nine months later, a stork drops the raw cabbage down the chimney (sometimes Santa delivers it if it's around the holiday season) and there's Junior!