h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Now this months rant (not spell checked) is one about a tale of many anoying things., These are the people who are everywhere and exitist at all known events and parties. To point out what I mean here is a few ancedotes: (USP - universal stupid person, D - Darakat)

Eppisode 1: How not to get Laid.
USP: So, I will tell you how to get laid.
D: Right. O.K. Go right ahead.
USP: Well you gotta, you gotta be asertive right?
D:Possibly.
USP: So what ya do, is you go sit on there lap. See, means you like them.
D: ...Right...
USP: If you sit on there chair when they go away that means you want them to like you.
D: How many of those things have you drunk?
USP: I dono but I am going to get another one.
D: Ok. If you like.
USP Leaves.
Meenwhile Darakat sits in USP's chair and offers it to a nearby girl who heard the conversation, Much luaghter.
USP comes back.
USP: Yourrr Yourr sitting in my chair. That must mean you want to get laid... By me?
D offers seat to girl again.
Girl sits down in Darakats old chair. More laughter.
USP leaves to another part of the party grumbaling.

Eppisode 2: How not to get drunk.
USP: So... You hear to get drunk?
D: Not really. But is an option open to me.
USP: You should stop speaking like that you sound like a f-ing robot.
D: I say what it occors to me to say, more I cannot say.
USP: Oh? Really? I guess I do to.
D: Indeed.
Darakat drinks a large sip of Gin.
USP: Why are you drinking water?
D: This is my third glass of Gin.
USP: Oh.

Eppisode 3: How not to win a phonomological argument
USP: Ok, so you say your agnostic, say I can prove god exists.
D: Ok. I don't care. Therefore I remain an agnostic. Thus you have made no change in my from your statement.
USP: Ok. Say I can prove god doesn't exist.
D: Ok. I still don't care. Therefore I remain an agnostic. Thus you have made no change in my from your statement.
USP: OK. What if god doesn't exist now, but did exist in the past?
D: How can I tell if time is not a illsuion created by discrepanties in my present state of mind?
USP: Ok. If you do not accknolegde that the past exists then you don't know what my first statement was, Infact you don't know any of my statements exist, or are anything but a ilussion created by your own mind. How does that make you feel?
D: Annoyed at the fact that you missed out on one little detail.
USP: Whats that?
D: I do know what the past is, its just I can't prove that it is nothing but the discrepancies in my mind. Thus I can only say that it is what seems to me to be the past. but may be some fiction. I just say whatever it occors to me to say and more I cannot say,
USP: Ok. Cool. But how from one moment to the next do you know you are a agnostic?
D: How do you know from one moment from the next that you are not an idiot?
USP: I don't. But that doesn't answer the question.
D: It answers itself.

Hope you enjoyed that little trip into the workings of my and other peoples minds.

"D: How do you know from one moment from the next that you are not an idiot?"
Mwa ha ha! That is the greatest response to any unidentified stupid comment ever!

Yes well you can always get them with http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/alabaster/F97207?thread=35735

you f-ing robot you!

mission accumplished.

sicko. *looks disgusted and smirks at his ignorance*

Is that last one based on a real conversation with someone (and Im not refering to a certain messenger conversation that I was witnessing...)?

You and I know that the last question was not taken place in that particular Messanger conversation. All of these conversations have taken place at a party (YES THEY WHERE) ok? I did say that at the begning.

liar, liar, pants on fire!

Whatever.

indeed.

poor, poor abused darakat.

Yeah poor me.

no, poor me. exams start tomorrow.

*gloats* HA! My exams ended today!

*collapses into a sleep-deprived caffeine-overloaded heap*

and then and

why do i even keep calling you people sickos? exams are done and i have passed all of my classes. yay. the highest grade on the final in my trig class was a 79...good thing she loves our six person class and gave us a twenty point curve. i would have kissed her, but shes sick.

mmm 20 point curve.