h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ok, I know we've seen these before, but it's been a while. So enjoy.


1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand On the watch
Called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled In the dictionary,
How would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary,
Where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack?
What is a whack?

6. Why does "slow down" and
"slow up" mean the same thing?

7. Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance"
Mean the same thing?

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game"
When we are already there?

10. Why are they called " stands"
When they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called "after dark"
When it really is "after light"?

12.. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected"
Make the unexpected expected?

13.. Why are a "wise man" and
A "wise guy" opposites?

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee"
Mean opposite things?

15. Why is "phonics" Not spelled
The way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific,
Why do they have to pay you to do it?

17.. If all the world is a stage,
Where is the audience sitting?

18.. If love is blind,
Why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia,
Can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular
And panties plural?

21.. Why do you press harder On the buttons of a remote control
When you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags
And garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated
Is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels?
Aren't we clean when we use them?

25.. Why doesn't glue
Stick to the inside of the bottle?

26. Why do they call it a TV set
When you only have one?

27. Christmas - What other time of the year
Do you sit in front of a dead tree And eat candy out of your socks?

28. Why do we drive on a parkway
And park on a driveway?

Some of those are quite educational, since the equivalent expressions would be different in Swedish.

No. 25 reminds me of this edited entry: 'How They Get Stripes on Toothpaste':

A1047836

The tri-coloured one was one of my favourites as a kid.

I've never heard of a tug pushing another boat. I've always seen them out in front, with ropes coming out the back, pulling the other boat along.

It's quite common when they're moving barges. There are different styles of "tug" boat. The ones we see most often around here are the tall ones (to see over the barges) with large vertical bumpers up front for the barges like this: http://www.worldofstock.com/slides/TRB2504.jpg I see these very often navigating the Houston Ship Channel and going up and down the Intercoastal Waterway that runs parallel to the Gulf Coast.


Or we also see the more typical tug boats used to position tankers and cargo ships in port.

This is what I think of for "tug boat":

http://fineartamerica.com/featured/tugboat-pulling-a-cargo-ship-olivier-le-queinec.html

Many years ago when I lived in Jefferson City and worked for the state archives, I had an apartment near the river. I could sit on my back porch and watch the barges and tug boats. Most pushed the barges. I seldom saw any other kind of boats, to be honest. No paddle wheelers like on the Mississippi. A few private small speed boats.