h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Most people aren't overt bullies. But there is one sort of bullying that I run in to all the time that is considered acceptable by a lot of my friends. At least I assume they consider it acceptable since they do it. It is e-mail/social media bullying.

Like everyone I get lots of e-mail forwards from friends. And I find all sorts of posts on Facebook that I enjoy and often share. What I don't forward or share are the ones that imply that not to do so makes me a bad person in some way. You know the ones I'm talking about. If you don't forward this e-mail then you're not a real friend, don't love your mother, aren't a patriot, probably abuse dogs, don't care about cancer patients, etc. In other words, you're generally scum.

If the message stands on it's own then it isn't necessary to add that crap at the end. Doing so is psychological bullying. And if I have to forward something or repost something to "prove" I'm your friend or agree with your point of view then I guess I'm not and I don't.

Don't worry about that, Hyp. I never forward chain mail, and if I choose to repost a facebook meme then because I think that the message in there is funny/something I agree with. I don't think any of my friends think less of me because I don't repost. I think some repost because they don't think about/are aware of the bullying aspect of said posts.

I'm sure you're right, Bel. But it's one of those things that bothers me and always has. We all have things that push our buttons and this is one of mine.

I've defriended or unsubscribed from people because of such posts. I don't regret it a bit. I used to reply, stating that I don't forward chail missives no matter what the subject matter. Or if it was a bogus themed one, then I'd reply with a link to Snopes debunking it. But now, I'd just rather not see them in the first place. It's much simpler just to pull down that little [v] tab.

"Chail"

Accidental neologism, short form of "chain mail".

Good one! I'll have to remember that.

Another bullying tactic that backfires with me is the annual call I get from MDA telling me I've been "accused of having a heart". You know, the one where they lock you in jail and you have to get on the phone and beg your friends and relatives for money for MDA to bail you out. In other words, iof you don't participate then you're heartless. I get that call every single year. Not only don't I participate, I no longer even make a personal donation.

If I want to donate my time or money to a charity, then I'll do so. I won't be bullied or guilted into it. And I sure am not going to put my friends into a similar position.

Any form of chain mail always gets broken if it comes to me. To play on someone's mind that they will have bad luck etc, isn't my idea of fun.

lil x

Agreed, lil. I never send them on. As soon as I see the words "If you..." I hit the delete button.

If it were only superstition that they were preying on. I completely agree with Hypatia, they've moved on to emotional blackmail and bullying.

The ones that most offended me were the ones that implicitly questioned your patriotism if you didn't cooperate.

Those are super offensive, BG. With Memorial Day and Independence Day coming up, we'll be getting a new batch of them.

Well said, all of you.

It's nice to know you fine folks agree with me about this. I was beginning to feel like a grouch.

No need for that. The other day somebody posted a message on fb. The sentiment was lovely and I told her so, but I made it clear that there was no way I'd send that on to 12 other fb friends.

I'm fortunate in that I don't get any of those emails (and I don't do Facebook and the like), but I used to get calls from the Texas State Troopers Association asking for money by playing on your conscience, and as soon as you give to one they all start calling you - police, fire, everyone, all asking for donations to retired and injured former employees funds. Nowadays I make it habit not to answer any number that starts 1-8**, or pretty much any number I don't recognise (thank Almighty Bob for caller ID). I even started getting political robo calls on my mobile

Where's the like button when you need it?

Count me in as one of those that never forwards those chain or joke emails, or does those "Post this as your FB status for one hour if you agree" thingies. Wish those people would grow up and act their ages.

is the h2g2 version of the like button

Anyone who mails me a 'chail' ends up being categorized as a spammer. I've never ever forwarded one myself. Common sense. Something that seems to have become uncommon today.

Ahh, Gosho, I have such fond memories of dealing with the TSTA and its ilk.

I made the mistake of purchasing one of their stickers when I was just out of high school. For those not familiar with the Texas State Troopers Assoc. they are a fractionally legitimate scam. Some small portion of their proceeds do go to police charities. But the reason most people donate is to get a window decal that they theorize will be seen by any police officer and earn a bit of good will from said officer regarding being pulled over or ticketed. It doesn't work, of course. But for just $15...

Anyway, I bit the first time one of their sales folks called me. What convinced me to purchase one the second year was that it was the same fellow who called me the previous year. And he was quite cordial and personable. The third year however, I was convinced that it was the low level scam that it is and politely refused. He understood and asked if he could call again the next year. He was so nice about it I said OK. The following year though I opted out and, believe it or not, I never received another call from the TSTA. So, they actually earn a bit of respect from me.

However, I did get a few calls from other similar organizations in the following years. One in particular I regret not recording to this day. When this one called, I thought at first that it was my TSTA guy. There's a reason. This fellow started the call with a statement suggesting that I "renew" my membership. But then I pegged that this wasn't the TSTA but rather the P.A.L. or Police Activities League. I interrupted his spiel to insist that, no, I have never donated to his organization. That's when it got a bit surreal. For a few moments I missed what he said because it seemed like he was talking to someone in the room with him. He just seemed to be ranting about something completely different. But then I slowly realized he was still talking to me. The only phrase I can remember is his reply when I asked, "wait, WHAT?" He then said, "C'mon, man! don't you remember all those mad bomber parties we had?" WTF?

He continued ranting on for a bit longer. I had a good cassette type answering machine that featured call recording but by the time I thought about it he hung up on ME!