h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I was just thinking about parents -- today would have been my Dad's 92 birthday. Towards the end, he was in a nursing home in Michigan, and I was doing the couch tour up in San Jose with no way to attend his funeral. Talk about guilt...at least, my brother was able to represent the family with my stepmom and her sons.

, Hyp, along with and sympathy.



[Christiane, so good to see you! Have a lovely birthday, kiddo!]

YB, Lady C died 2 and a half years ago from breast cancer. We talked every single day, so it was hard losing her. But life goes on and we have to just keep going forward. The thing is, she was the one person who actually understood my relationship with my mother, and I was the only one who understood her problems with Mom, which were more serious than my own. As Mother became more and more difficult, at least we could commiserate with one another. Now there's no one who knows the history, how she pushes the buttons, that sort of thing.

Christiane, you must let us know where this fabulous virtual birthday celebration will be held. We could all use a good party.

That's a sad story, SC. I'm sure your family understood the circumstances and no one was upset with you.

Christiane,

I'm so glad you got back! Can't wait for the party.

Dmitri

SC, , that's awful. The same thing happened to me when my aunt died so shortly after my dad. My aunt lived so far away, and was being buried in such a small town, that it was impossible.

I loved her a lot, and it hurt not to be there. But she was a very practical woman, and I could just hear her saying, 'Don't do that! I'm not there, anyway. I know you love me.' So I felt better about it.

And Hyp, and . High-maintenance people, sadly, will never appreciate the gift their loved ones have given them - the gift of tolerance.

Hyp, relationships with parents/children can be very trying, but I don't think we should feel guilty, we are what we are, and such as your Mom can't/won't change so we just have to accept.

It took me many years to come to terms with how my Mum was with me, while being charm itself with others, but she ended up with senile dementia which seems to send them in to reverse - nice people become nasty and nasty people become nice. Very strange.

Websailor