h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Howdy doodly kind king

Big up

Glad to welcome you to h2g2

Feel free to park your and remember, we are all friends here




Two forums to write for now, don't know if I'll be able to keep up


C'U around Mark


Sean.

Guten tag Sturmbannfuhrer von Kuh unt wilkommen nach mein Lebensraum.

Unsere ihre heiss treue!

Ich bin nicht mutig genug, um nachts alleine im h2g2 spazierenzugehen. So ein egoistisches Verhalten ist charakerististch mir mich.

Ihre hat im Kreig in Russland gekampt.Wo ist mein vertrauenswurdig schirm?



Auf Weidersehn meine freund. Ich war im Nacht unt Nebel

Many congratulations on operation Fall Weiss. With Hamlet next on my agenda perhaps you could leap in with a Weserubung or two just for good measure.

Mark

Looks like someone's been a naughty boy

Ve av vays of controlling vot you say


C'Ya
Sean.

and a flashy one

i see you both know each other already... hehe... i mean more than just reading each other's quotes in LD...

i made some coffee just in case... might need to keep it warm or something... mmmmmmmmmm.... no ... that would be the most useful smiley in this place... might have to order one me thinks... hehe...
well at least we've got lights
in the messages... hehe...

talk soon... and no s... it's a BBC site not LD... lmhao... then again if it's a consolation i managed to get two quotes refused on LD... the first was about time-travel and its rules... i ONLY asked what was the date of birth of a peep who gave us grief yesterday... hehe... the quote was actually refused... WOW... like i could time-travel and do something about it... lmho...

twas just to say that at the end of the day we are all sinners... hehe....

anyway talk later...

and stay tuned....

Many apologies for my moderated reply to your initial brief.

Having failed to read the house rules in their entirety I attempted to return your message in something almost, but not entirely, resembling German.

This has probably caused the BBC foreign languages department (if such a thing exists) something of a headache; what with trying to force the verbs into places where any sensible lexicon usually has them.

Apologies to Loup who is exempt from the above statement. I fully realise that being French is a congenital disease of the larynx and is not in any way his fault.

Welcome aboard Monsieur Lone Gunman.

So, who wants to talk about the weather?

hehe...

it seems that some messages in french got the same treatment...

me thinks h2g2 needs someone who can speak french and english like me (hint... hint... hint...)to moderate the franglais forum... oh yes there is one.... hehe...

our dear friend herr von kow kindly directed me towards this linguistic oasis....

twas great; i had to guess what was the content of these hidden messages...

only joking they were a few messages that were not hidden.... lol...

anyway your mad highness that the gossips for now from the french quarter of the LD...

will be more later on hopefully but i still want to catch up with a few things....

anyway i'm glad to know there was nothing serious regarding the hidden message...

pity tho' could have been the basis of a new conspiracy theory... hehe...

talk later your highness...

stay tuned as always....

PS: to my surprise, a
few days ago, i discovered that there was [or used to be] a SAINT DARGENT in here...

coincidence?!... surely we can't be related... lmho....

i forgot to switch the lights on ... yep... that's better... lol...

For a real taste of time travel I strongly suggest that you come visit my humble realm of Shropshire. On a good day it is possible to observe many examples of primitive Homo ergaster utilising traditional Acheulian industrial methods of hunting and gathering.

By which, of course, I mean hurling shaped rocks through an off-licence window and making off with several thousand pounds worth of misappropriated cigarettes.

I strongly back your proposal for an official Franglais translator. With your in depth knowledge of both English and French the job ought to be a morceau de gateau.

All secret messages and conspiracies are hereby officially denied.

Which - as any conspiracy theorist worth his salt will know - means that they are alive and well and living in Basildon.

So; there is another d'argent....

I wonder whether the force is strong with this one?

I also wonder how he managed to get canonised?

I think perhaps I wonder too much.

I have certainly wandered from the point by several degrees.

Yours incorrectly tuned,

Mark.

that what i was thinking of doing yesterday... investigating the past,present and future activities of shadowy characters such as herr von kow... hehe...

Unfortunately as you must know malty the slayer tampered with my time-machine so i can't use it... it kinda vanished in thin air... for all i know it could be in roswell now... lol...

[err... anyone reading that: this is not a code... and you're welcome to join in...]

at the mo' i'm trying to update my "discussion about nothing..." entry... an exercise in the LD's style... but my fellow LD musketeers kinda went overzealous... lol... i was expecting to copy a few lines at the time... but two of them provided like a paragraph each... hehe... it's great... or it will be great once i updated it at last... nothing can produce a lot of comments... and talking about nothing has been a speciality of ours for quite a while now... hehe...

oh your mad highness, you are now officially linked to my alternative zone [well your page anyway...]... so if some peeps have lost their way from LD and stop by my space they can have a look at what we are producing... or just have a chat...

i have noticed a few more LDers but according to the last date they replied to their messages they might not be around anymore ... unless they're just taking a long break... which is also possible...

to come back to me being bi-lingual [and being very subtle about it... lol...] i am rather confident that i could translate the messages with my eyes closed [not literally of course...] plus i can understand french slang... hehe...

now of course the problem would be for the use of certain words which might be seen as rude by the BBC but are normal on french radios... THAT would be a dilemna... a word like for example: do i leave it as or use a to make sure there is no confusion with in the first place?!... and of course the original might have lost some of its meaning by the time the second comes around...

hehe... i can see an interesting forum there...

i will be on my way again... looking for more things to do... if my trainee MIB [my kids...] let me use the TV a while longer...

as i said before; who needs the MIB when you have kids?!...
they sure manage to delay anything of importance at the mo'... but then again it might help if i get a pc asap...

so your mad highness on these last words [for the moment anyway...] i'll leave you for a while...

stay tuned as always...

oh the mystery of SAINT DARGENT as been solved by your truly already... hehe...

SAINT DARGENT is/was an angel...



oh not a real one... hehe...
there is a group of gardian angels in here who help(ed) newcomers... a bit like the ACEs... they seem nice peeps too... but i dunno if they are as many as they used to be... so anyway if we are visited by an angel we should not worry it will not be a warning or a revelation... lol... just the norm in h2g2... that was the result of my investigation [well me being nosey anyway...]...

but i do think that SAINT DARGENT is not around anymore...
which in a way might be a blessing in disguise as it would have been rather confusing...

well that's the gossips for now... hehe...

your royally tuned...

the one and only loup dargent.... hehe...

Further to the Mad King's enquiry about the BBC foreign languages department, and after much extensive research[I asked a bloke in the pub], I have reached the conclusion that ...
(a)The bloke who translates from French, actually went there on holiday once, well more of a booze run really.
(b)The Spanish translators had a lovely fortnight in Ibiza, without their
parents[I hasten to add], and can say Que fluenty.

So, further to this, I regret to inform M.D'argent that his selfless(yeah right) act of kindness must be refused, because where will we get our cheap cigs from?

oh it's ok.... i could pretend i can speak german too and spanish .... let's see; what do i remember, i learned from these nice au-pair girls?!... oh yes... ich liebe dich...hehe...
asta la vista or even better: que sera sera... might still need some practice with the accent tho'... lmho...

Well it's not really a secret, I put it down to the fact that I often ask myself about life and it's meaning's, like...

What if the hokey cokey really IS what it's all about?

That and the fact I live on a 30ft pole and one momentary lapse of concentration, and I go plummeting head first into a cow-pat(again).


Anyway, back to my point(that also keeps the mind focused, if not a little uncomfortable at times), kow's secret, I think it must be, and without a doubt, the ability to try and figure out what the , the Mad King is trying to say

And with those words of wisdom, I depart, just remember though:

You put your left leg in, your left leg out, in, out, in, out, you shake it all about...

Dear Oberleutnant von Kow (1st Yogic Hokey Kokey Parachute Brigade)

You are indeed gallant and heroic to subscribe to such a bold undertaking.

Particularly when I have precious little idea what it is I am pontificating about myself for the majority of the time.

So thirty years meditating atop a long stick has finally borne fruit as to the true meaning of the Universe?

I would venture that bending ones knees, stretching ones arms and invoking the theme 'Ra ra ra' whilst located in such an untenable position would also generate some fairly substantial data concerning the nature of gravity in a plummeting thirty feet towards the ground type of fashion.

This is probably where Newton went wrong. Had he the benefit of a vertically descending Indian ascetic bouncing off his forehead instead of the traditional apple scenario then the whole science of physics would be radically different today.

There would almost certainly be a considerable increase in the wearing of big orange nappies.

But then, Open University physics lecturers have been thusly attired for as long as I can remember.

to all that i will add this very important and rather appropriate philosophical comments:

that explains everything... lmho...

stay tuned as always...

on my way to my personal space...
ps: what is this poney doing in my space?!...

My dear Monsieur d'argent,

I find that the action is a most praiseworthy addition to the h2g2 smiley roster. Particularly as I suffer from a bizzare ing variety of Tourette's Syndrome that has ruined my life ever since I was first able to form the word

I find it perculiar, however, that alternative varieties of crude and offensive language are permissible if suitably dressed up for the occasion.

For example, I would be well within the boundaries of accepted conversational English were I to invite anyone to go fornicate themselves. It would also be perfectly reasonable to extract the urine in a proud, steady voice; despite the obvious overtones that this phrase entails.

Yours speaking his usual standard of male generative organs,

I too find it a little curious that extracting the urine, or for northerners, taking the piss, is fine.

Whereas a word such as f**k would only have the middle removed, unless of course it's essential to the story, then the word, f**k would again become perfectly acceptable.

But due to the bastardisation of H2G2, quoting JFK, on his memorable visit to Berlin, would send it flying to the moderators[never to be seen again], unless of course, someone goes there on their hols.

I would like to take this opportunity, to congratulate Mad King the , as he seems recently to have become, on his recent admission into the next edition of .

kow: hehe... regarding the well deserved publication of our mad king and congratulating his royal madness about it i have ing beaten you to it through LD messaging... now would that mean that kow is another word for "ing slow" only god and the cosmic joker know the answer to that one me thinks... hehe... but as usual i'm only taking the piss and don't mean any malice...

so ignore these ing comments and do whatever you think is fit to do with them... i won't mind...

your mad highness: right as usual, it is possible to be rude and insulting without seeing the "offensive" comments going throught the censors scissors...
i suppose that unless we only use "NEWSPEAK" this interesting situation will always be there... [i had a longer reply on this issue but i clicked by mistake one of the ing smileys included in your prose and well lost it [no need to agree on this one... hehe]
it does remind me some other technics used by the "baddies" used LD's library a lot of times; they make comments or attack other peeps in their quotes but get away with it [well they would if we didn't as a matter of principle point out that aspect of their quotes to everyone... hehe] by saying that it was a "general" quote... [the expression "pull the other one" springs to mind as yours truly knows their tactics very well and had to use the one mentioned here at times (in emergency cases only of course... lol)...

it also reminds me of that epic day in the pol room when talking about "witches and bankers" became a wonderful and efficient way to fight back some opponents who made the unfortunate mistake of launching a cyber attack (with "general" quotes of course") against myself... [twas unfortunate for them... hehe]

herr von kow will, i'm sure, smile when i mention one of lif's favourite words which on its own might seem rather harmless but used in another context brings laughters in the room [well from us anyway...]...

this word is "debate", and we have found out many times that some peeps in the library do like a good debate on a regular basis [don't we all...]...

i send this message before i click on any ing key i'm not supposed to...

talk later...

ps: why, oh why is there a poney in my space?!...

It would appear that the parameters of acceptable language are considerably less stringent in here.

However, having been trained in the noble art of LD library regulations I find that a good deal of my cursive arsenal has been erased from my lexicon.

I am unable to use the word 'Luck' without a token shudder these days, what with it being seventy five per cent obscene.

And as for 'arsenal', which I see I have already used, the LD moderator will eagerly censor two hours worth of typing to ensure that this most heinous of obscenities does not see the light of day.

The words double and standard would seem to marry together with no small degree of force.

Gentlemen.

Warmest regards to you both for your congratulatory missives.

For Kow.... without whom the invasion of Canada would remain nothing but a pipe-dream.

For Loup.... who is largely to blame for my presence here in the first place.

When they created you fine fellows they obviously threw away the mould.

I would shake your hands but for the fear that some of that mould may have grown back.

May I also take this opportunity to wish you both a fine Bank Holiday Monday in the hope that neither London or Yorkshire are residing somewhere under the twenty feet of floodwater that is customary on such occasions.