h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The kind you have when you're driving, not the kind that cause action.


I've been doing a great deal of driving lately, mostly with co-workers and occasionally long periods on my own. Two weeks ago I drove for 9 hours straight, stopping only for restroom and fuel stops. A number of things come to mind when the radio becomes boring or the CDs or iPod no longer satisfy, mostly mindless stuff but questions that may or may not need to be answered.

Is the plural of Lexus, Lexii?

What determines the regularity of highway exits? Are various sizes of fuel tanks and bladders taken into account?

How many people don't realise that there are many, many spots on the face of the earth that have never been trod on by humans? Does that affect their world view?

Who invented the *strip mall* and what circle of hell have they been doomed to?

Why does the other person's cruise control never, ever match yours exactly?

Why do license plates from other provinces or states immediately create dread deep in my soul?

Why does a cell phone automatically ring in the middle of a double switchback on the side of a steep mountain?

Anyway, I'm off to Vancouver Island for another week of driving (and work) shortly. It's always a pleasant trip since it was where I grew up and the fact that it is long and narrow so most drives are fairly lineal. I'll get to phone all my relatives as I drive by them, something I usually do even though it makes little sense. Take care all and think of me in my big metal box as it rides the spine of the Big Rock.

Lexus... hmm

Morxus?

(ok, i'll just keep thinking)

Lexthem?

I also wonder where the Lexus Nexus is. Not to mention whether there is a Lexus Plexus (I imagine it must but the electrical harness). I find it to be a physically exciting auto, but too expensive all around so I'm doomed never to have one. The Lexus can sex us but hex us and wrecks us.