A Conversation for Scalextric

Peer Review: A797934 - Scalextric

Post 1

Smiffy the Lab Assistant (1+9)*5-(5+4)+1=42

Entry: Scalextric - A797934
Author: Lab Assistant - self confessed chocoholic mother of three under the age of four - U195541

Any comments, criticisms, additions, guidance and memories will all be gratefully recieved smiley - biggrin

Karen smiley - bubblysmiley - choc


A797934 - Scalextric

Post 2

Mina

I must admit that I only read to the end of the second paragraph. CAn you change it so that it's not so sexist? Women like this too! In fact I was bought a Scaletrix as a joint present with one of my brothers. I'll come back to read the rest later. smiley - smiley


A797934 - Scalextric

Post 3

Smiffy the Lab Assistant (1+9)*5-(5+4)+1=42

Now changed.... you know I hadn't relalised how sexist that paragraph read...

I guess that's the way I saw things because I come from a very male dominated family.... thank for pointing it out... I don't want to offend anyone smiley - biggrin

Karen


A797934 - Scalextric

Post 4

Mina

Sexist was probably the wrong word, a bit strong really.

I'll come back and read it all when I have a bit more time and can read it, not skim it. smiley - ok


A797934 - Scalextric

Post 5

Smiffy the Lab Assistant (1+9)*5-(5+4)+1=42

No worries smiley - biggrin

I tend to think sexist was probably the closest word to describe it... I mean a paragraph containing the words son, brother, dad, uncle and grandpa with not even the slightest mention of the female gender did need sorting out! And that's what's peer review is for isn't it? Sorting out the stuff you hadn't seen when you were writing it and ironing out the wrinkles... or great big creases even smiley - smiley

And I'm not one to take criticism to heart... I'm a complete amateur at this writing malarkey... I need all the help I can get!

Hope you enjoy the rest of the article when you find the time... if your life's as hectic as mine it may be a few days yet LOL

Thanks for the input mina... much appreciated!

Karen smiley - bubblysmiley - choc


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Post 6

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