h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Russian lorry driver in a blue lorry crossing the Mongolian steppes, very battered lorry, but Russian lorries take a lot of battering, that reminds me, American astronaut meets a Russian colleague, makes conversation, says, "We had that problem that pens wouldn't write properly in zero gravity, so we developed a special pen, now that thing's just great, writes in any position, won't fail even when you're hanging upside down in outer space. Did you encounter the same problem, and how did you solve it?" Says the Russian: "We use pencil."
Back to the lorry driver in the steppe, green grass rolling, rolling, driver nodding, nodding, rolling off the road onto the grass. Jerks up "Keep awake man! Maybe I'll sing a bit! Rasvetali yablony y grushy..."
Grass plain rolling, rolling, oh man what a country, driver nodding. Jerks up "Yaaahhhh!" breaks, stops with fore wheels just on river bank.
"Whew, that was close! Maybe I'll exercise a bit, get some oxygen into the brain. "Kalinka, kalinka, kalinka maya..." dance over the steppe "vsadu yagoda malinka, malinka maya..." scamper over a ridge.
Birds flying up.
"Yaahhh! A corpse! Pomogitye, pomogitye, help, help!"
Jump into lorry, start engine, forget that lorry is still in first "Yaahhh!" Lorry hangs with nose in river and over the ridge the birds are eating a corpse.
Lean on the horn, yell "Pomogitye, pomogitye!"
Oh man, what a country, are there any people here at all?
A rider appears on ridge (not the one with the corpse).
"Over here, over here! Help, help!"
Rider approaches, like a scout of Dshingis Khan's army, dark impassive face looks into lorry window, long, thin, black mustachio hanging over the mouth, dark, dark, very slitty eyes, oh man!
"A corpse, over there!"
Mongolian rider turns to look where birds are circling. "Yes. That's my uncle. He was a fine, fine man. And the birds like him also."

An experiment in freeform writing? I like the setting, not enough has been written about the steppes of Mother Russia. Most western literature is about the cities and the decaying state institutions.

is about a movie i saw, thing got a lot of highbrow prices, but is brilliant nevertheless, and this is the openening scene, i don't want to forget it, so i scribbled it down to remind me

What happens next?

Well at the moment there's nothing that can be done about the lorry, so the Mongolian lets the driver sit up behind him on the horse, and takes him to his yurte, that is a sort of sturdy nomad tent. There the Russian, and me, gets the first bad shock, when he sees a sheep slaughtered, the Mongolians do it by cutting in under the sheep's ribcage, reaching in with a hand and stopping the heart. And i never believed that skinning a sheep could be so fast, is like peeling somebody out of a coat.
Then the sheep is cut up, and the Russian tries to get out of eating it, but there's no way he can avoid it, and lo, it is very good!

Different cultures; different environments; different mind-sets; different ways of doing things. Variety is the spice of life.

Delicia, would this film be available in the US, do you think? Or is this a(n) (a)typical movie from your country, and that's its only venue? Would you characterize the inherent humor to be indicative of the cultures presented, or is a bit 'Westernized'? I only ask because I laughed, too.

B4

oh hello stranger! I'm trying to find that movie, you have no idea how mad i was that my video recorder don't work, so i'll definitely try to get hold of it, and i'll tell you, when i do. And no, it's not westernised at all, trust me on this.

You can look it up at Amazon, the correct title is Urga, it's from 1991, and i can't believe that i saw it only now, and now it's gone out of stock

Shame, there can't be too many films out there about the lifestyle of Mongolian tribesmen as seen through the eyes of modern Russian society.

yes, it is an absolute gem. Btw, my "transcript" is a rather free one, which is why i called it Burga (a landscape in Inner Mongolia), i don't know if the movie is supposed to play there, but must be somewhere near, and it is the nearest to the word to Urga, which describes a long stick with a loop of rope which the Mongolian (and similar people) use to catch sheep, horses, and women

I've seen the Urga used in a documentary where Julia Roberts lived with a family of Mongolian nomands for a week or two. What an oppertunity wasted that was! They can pack up their homes and be gone in a matter of minutes, so why not pack up around her and leave her in the middle of nowhere?!?

*urrr* that picture of JR et al. polluting the Mongolian steppes gives me nausea.

Happily the life of the hardy nomad gave her more than nausea.

did it? Good. That's the sort of idiots who maunder on about "back to nature" because they are so far away from it already, that they have NO idea

Ain't no way I'm gonna live in a damn tent for no pumpkin-headed yankee bean-eater! No sir!?!

i never liked camping anyway *shudder*, although those yurts are fantastic things, look very solid for a nomad tent

The skill and art of the tents (I feel it's an insult to call them that!) amazed me...The fact that the folks inside seemed so open and friendly was amazing as well, far removed from the image of the Mongol hordes of ages past.

Well yurts are ... yurts. And the Mongolians are a good example of the staggering bandwidth of "human nature", like, like, umh ... the Germans? Now i'm the sweetest so'n so around ...

I've always found the Germans to be a much maligned nation, I meet more annoying Austrian people than I do Germans, believe me...But then again there are people that baffle me, like what do natives of Litchestien call themselves and where the hell did their country come from?!?

We'll never live the last big one down, which incidentally has it's ups, it's always better to be a nice surprise, than a disappointment, what?