h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Actually I'm quite good (or bad, however you want to tell it) with Independence Day.
To the extent that I did know a lot of snippets from it. And if I say that somehting is 'not entirely accurate' you know it's a load of bulls**t.

You mean...

in Catwomanese: 'This is not entirely accurate'

translates into English as used by everyone else

as: 'I am so totally making this up'

(Hope you appreciate the Californian twist to the colloquialisms, it's not something I tend to do myself...)

Also my mobile phone start-up thing is 'Good Morning Dave' (except with my name, cos I'm not Dave) and if I had a laptop that talked I might consider changing my name to Dave temporarily.

Just one of the many tough lifestyle choices I am spared having to make through my non-possession of a mobile phone.

It's mostly for emergencies.
And sending text messages to friends who are never at home if I phone them.

Well, I'm nearly always at home or at work and no more than 20 seconds from a phone. And when I'm not there I'm usually at the pictures and don't want to be disturbed.

It's a strange feeling to be sitting on the bus reading my book with everyone around me avidly thumbing away at their phones, but I can't quite put my finger on why...

Presumably you don't live in the middle of nowhere and have to drive through sparsely inhabited areas then.
I need my phone for conversations that go 'Help! I've broken down!'
Also occassionally 'Get some carrots on the way back.'

Actually, I live out in the countryside - I'm looking at two 40-minute bus rides every weekday to get me to work and back.

And I'm a total non-driver - whenever I've needed to be able to drive, I haven't had the time and/or cash to be able to learn, but whenever I have had the time/cash it hasn't really been a priority.

I was told it was important to get a license before uni (partly becasue I had a job but no real expenses apart form trivial ones). Took three goes though.

I'm told it's supposed to take a number of lessons equal to your age, but that can't be right, can it?

They told me the same thing, but me being me I frittered the time away dissolutely...

I had between two and three times my age in lessons.
You should have done it ten years ago, it would have cost you approximately ten times less. Really. Also, people will be nice to you if you give them lifts. This is a proven fact.

Thanks for the scoop, on both counts.

If only I knew some people to give lifts to! I could prowl the streets offering lifts to complete strangers but a) there's a word for that and a mandatory sentence too and b) the local taxi mafia would do me over in a flash...

I guess you do have to know the people to give the lifts to in the first place, but it's still a good way to get people thinking you're a nice person, especially if you go out of your way to give them a lift home. Especially especially if it's raining.