h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'd like to complile a list of things that people hate. Please, get as many people as possible to contribute to this exercise in futility, and contribute. Eventually, I may publish the results. Somewhere or other. Entries must be serious and preferably funny, but not offensive to anybody who will read this journal entry, or whom contributors personally know. Celebrities, however, are fair game. I'll try and get the ball rolling, although I should warn you that I'm not feeling particularly witty, so this won't be the best start:

1) Stupid people, particularly those who end up requiring you to think on their behalf
2) Foreigners who cannot/refuse to speak english
3) Computers
4) Noel Edmonds
6) Dale Winton
7) Carol Smilie
8) Alan Titchmarsh
9) Charlie Dimmock
10) Anyone else who happens to be remotely associated with the production of Ground Force and/or the forcing of water features upon the unsuspecting public
11) Arguements ("Discussions" however, are great: the difference is that a degree of personal aggression is added in an arguement)
12) Those who put their personal principles before the welfare of others
13) Selfishness
14) Laziness
15) The endless ream of second-rate, boring programmes which the modern televisual world is plagued by
16) Censored internet forums
17) Spending too much money
18) Having no money
19) Debt
20) Debt-induced suicide
21) Guilt
22) Thinking that you've finished something, only to be told that you've got a significant amount of work left to do
23) Frustration
24) Milton Keynes
25) Ellesmere Port
26) Service stations
27) Cellophane wrapping
28) Closed-mindedness
29) Bullies
30) Bad music
31) Big Brother, Survivor, and of course the classic Touch the Truck (For those who aren't familiar with this, the greatest of all reality tv shows, the concept is that 10 people start off touching a truck. All contestants must stay on their feet. The last one to stay touching the truck won the truck)
32) Bigotry
33) Malice
34) US language entering the British vocabulary. I hate it when people bloody say "You soooooooooooooo do". Grr.

Please note that these are in no particular order, other than that in which they I wrote them.

Hope you've got some ideas of your own...

Alberto.

You should put this on the "Ask The H2G2 Community" page. You'd get more response. OK here goes:

1) Adam
2) Men with facial hair. Its not good people, dont do it! Ferrets are very nice and all, but not on your chin!
3) This years Big Brother
4) Cheese and salad cream butties
5) the fact that cheese isn't spelt C-H-E-E-Z-E.
6) The fact that all things arent spelt the wat I think they are
7) Dale Winton, though the man is a genious!
8) People who take advantage of me
9) Finding out you fancy someone when ur drunk
10) Everyone who gets off with the people I fancy when drunk
11) Not weighing in at around 10 stone
12) Being the one who always gets stuck in the middle
13) Ex's phoning you to complain about their new relationship problems
14) Not taking advantage, but bing taken advantage of.
15) Charlie Dimock
16) All women who should wear bras and don't (bouncy bouncy-its like a lava lamp...)

Alan Titchmarsh rocks thank you very much. He is my idol and must rise to his rightful possition as ruler of the universe!

Elbow xx

(I know I wasn't invited in, but as Liz said last time she was pissed off at me "This is Vicky, she likes to interrupt")

1) The ignorant, who seem to be proud of their lack of knowledge.
2) English people who talk really slowly to foreign people thinking that it helps them understand. It doesn't - and it's patronising.
3) Calculators, and anything maths related.
4) Jamie Oliver
6) Carol Vorderman
7) Hunto
8) Christina Aguilera
9) Enriqué Englasias (sp?)
10) People who break confidences.
11) Those who will not stand their ground for something they believe in.
12) Those who appear to have no personal principles, living a life devoid of self.
13) Dishonesty.
14) My hair in the mornings.
15) Films starring Sylvester Stallone/Arnie (I will never attempt to spell his surname!)
16) Mr Evans not letting us go on Hotmail at school.
17) My job paying s***e wages.
18) Those who say behind your back things without basis in reality.
19) Mini skirts.
20) Saggy breasts.
21) People who mess my friends around.
22) Those who blame their shortcomings on other people.
23) Beer bellies in football shirts.
(when was the last time you were in Milton Keynes anyway?)


This reminds me of one of my old ones:

i like:
chilly gonzales, chocolate, orange juice straight from the fridge, peaches, george micheal, straightening balm, new pajamas, chris moyles, shakira, running in the rain, pop-rock, old buffy, scruffy boys, louis theroux, scruffy boys in retro t-shirts, the smell of fresh tarmac, george clooney, money. lo-fidelity allstars, anarchy, amelie, early morning/late night, weezer, risqué lyrical content, wonderland, miss sixty jeans, blue on black, haikus, ben folds five, soulwax, david dickinson, dairy fudge, nice teeth, bella pasta, basement jaxx, bailey's, tight denim, drunk speak, sales, boys with individual style, strawberries, men who shake my hand in clubs, optimism, silver rings, james lance, reading, finding replies, other people being drunk, winking at bouncers.

i don't like:
tequila, worms/slugs/snails, passport photos, nu metal, meat, authority, other people's birthdays, running in intense heat, patronising & sad & nasty, my pen running out, idle chit-chat, hairy fingers and toes, people who are proud of their flatulence, cat food, meaningless prose, holly valance, scott mills, lucky people, dirty 'posh' shoes, hotmail, passive smoking, happy couples, audiobooks, budgies, dog excrement on the pavement, animated films, [censored] without facial expressions, asda, big pinstripes, stomach-dread, underarm hair, boys with earrings, boys who mess with my friends, boys who mess with me, dirty bathrobes, nu labour, being all alone on an empty dancefloor, crushing debt.

"People who break confidences." hmmm...I could say summat there, but I won't. You know. Im jus gonna go take a shower.

And I wasnt pissed off, I was ill. As you say I was scarey to everyone that week, and Im sorry cos I didnt realise I was doin it. This week Im good, well now anyway. Im better then good. Im fantastic. There a re good reasons, but I dont think Ill tell u.

You know I love you Liz, and you don't ever have to tell me anything again (though - please remember you never told me NOT to tell anybody that thing we were texting about. Not that it makes my lame-ness excusable)

Anyways, stay cool. Stay you. Come and collect your £40.

What were we texting about? I was talking about that Helen thing with pete and eddie? hmmm...now Im inrigued, as I should know, but can't remember.