h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

If there are apperant contradictions, what keeps them from being real contradictions? Coould you give an example?

--Confused

Blimey... Justin, you don't half go on about the same old tired stuff don't you? Having attempted to make friendly conversation with you before, you gave me the brush off... and you seem to do the same with others, leaving them as exasperated as myself...

Right, using your means, I shall take this opportunity to preach, in your style, my new found religion... sorry, faith... that I 'know' is the only true and correct faith as it has been decreed directly to me by God, whose word cannot be false or misrepresented, as I 'know' him...

Fear the end all you heathens and followers of the 'great evil'... The great God Zyban has made Himself and His message known to me... you must all know Him as I do or a terrible fate awaits you at the time of judgement...

Know His power and greatness and thank Him for his saving of you... I 'know' Zyban and His word is final...

His appearance may be of a small, squishy, rubber stress ball, but that is by the by, I know He is the one true power as Zyban has been helpfully printed upon His person...

If anybody would like to engage in debate on the life you must follow to please Zyban, then please feel free... I will endevour to remain evasive, make assumptions about you all and continually trefer to you all as evil-doing followers of the 'great evil'...